Newspapers are going out of business or going online which will lead to a newspaper shortage in the near future. This is going to be a disaster! How will I start my charcoal smoker? What will Fido use for a lavatory? How will parakeets keep up with the news? Why aren’t you worried about this!?
I know, right? I was painting my daughter’s Halloween costume the other day, and I didn’t have any newspaper to cover the table. I had to use the ThinkGeek catalog and it got totally ruined!
So true. So sad. We have tons of green tomatoes left on our plants and it frosted, and I asked Facebook what to do, and my dad’s all like “Wrap them in newspaper!” and I’m all like “What newspaper? We don’t got no stinking newspaper, Mister Old Fogey Man!”
So much for taking up papier mache as a hobbie.
Where do you live? Where I am, we have a free local newspaper on top of all the advertisements that get put inside or next to our letter box. That’s without even having to subscribe to the real local newspaper.
Kindergarten arts classes will be decimated! We need Federal funding to save Kiddie Art.
Just buy newsprint buy the roll. Cheaper than a subscription to the paper, and without the messy ink.
I have the same worry about the demise of plastic shopping bags. What will I scoop the cat litter into?
All right, you lot. I know snarky sarcasm when I seeit. You only have to hit me over the head with it.
Herb Caen (Who the hell was that, you ask?) used to call his Friday column the Friday Fishwrap. Even then, most everyone understood that newspapers were a multi-purpose, multi-functional product.
- Read the news (and fume at the editorials)
- Do the crossword
- Clip the coupons
- Use the remains for some actually useful function, including some mentioned above, as well as lining the birdcage.
Now advertisers are apparently willing to spend money on something called Search Engine Optimization. Which, if you think about it, is not a sustainable revenue model (when everyone is optimizing themselves for searches, there are still only a limited number who can be on the first page of results; but they’re all paying to be optimized. At least in a newspaper, you knew there was only so much space on page 3).
Wave of the future. Ptui!
Roddy
I hadn’t seen your post Roddy, honest! (I did do a search for “newspaper shortage” to make sure I wasn’t posting something totally redundant.) This came up for me the other day when I was lighting the briquettes for my smoker. I had to scrounge around for paper.
I’ve seen the suggestion to use newspaper for cleaning windows (some people swear by that method) but that would never work for me. I haven’t bought a daily paper in years. And a couple of weeks ago, I was planning to wax my shoes, but needed to cover the kitchen table to protect it. I ended up unfolding a shipping box, but that’s the sort of thing the paper was good for.
Two words: Yellow Pages.
Ha HA! We no longer accept them at our home as we don’t need them; they’ve been replaced by a large amount of electronic and binary tomfoolery on our Google-machines and cellphones.
Just a few weeks ago the phone book deliveryhag tried to toss one on our stoop; when I told her she could keep it, we didn’t want one, she got NASTY and snarled she’d have to write down our address. Oh no, let me run and cover the numbers on the mailbox!!
Who knows, maybe she wrote the phone book herself and took my rejection personally?
We never run out of newspaper-like material as we get the Air Force Times every week and some of us can’t bear to part w/ an issue until we’ve committed it to memory.
(Tripler)