So what are you a purist or an anti-purist, or have changed your mind about?
Sweetness: PURIST: I’m a purist about sweetners being either according to the original recipe (cane sugar for pop for example) or no added sweetner when it’s silly (fruit juice is plenty sweet already).
Christmas trees: PURIST turned ANTI-PURIST: I used to be a trees must be real purist when I was younger. But a combination of ecology (seems wasteful to cut down a whole tree for a two week decoration) and conflict and effort avoidance (picking the tree is a big effort and also a potential source of family contention, for which, let’s be honest, there are plenty of sources already during the holidays).
Gin: ANTI-PURIST: I whole-heartedly support the substitution of vodka instead of gin in any cocktails, including the martini. It’s more of an anti-gin thing than a pro-vodka thing per se. Vodka is of course, inherently unoffensive. Granted, it has no character of it’s own. It’s just pure spirit. But gin’s character offends me. Alcohol tends to amplify the effects of anything that might otherwise tend to make one queasy. And the smell and taste of pine needles just isn’t something humans are meant to consume.
Hats: ANTI-PURIST: The fatwas against wearing hats indoors has somehow survived long past its usefulness, and long past the thankful death of other custom nonsense. Not that I’m against etiquette - I’m all for etiquette that has a practical effect of kindness or respect, but against arbitrary rules that have no practical effects. Most horribly, it still has track in the legal system! Hats just don’t serve the same purpose now as they used to, and the customs surrounding them likewise no longer make any sense in the modern context. Many people wear hats as head coverings, for religious, medical, or simple modesty reasons. While some people with a super obvious reason for wearing a head covering (Muslim women) might get a pass, it’s a shame that anyone has to be put under an inquisition in the first place. What people wear on their bodies, and what an individual considers appropriate for their own sense of modesty is frankly, no one’s business. Asking someone to remove any article of clothing that is not a clear danger to others is harassment. People entering the courtroom should not be asked to uncover their head, embarrassing or scrutinizing Muslims, Jews, cancer patients, and those with receding hairlines or even just a simple bad hair day.
Gin: Absolutely purist. I’m not even a big gin fan, but for cocktails that are supposed to have gin in them (martini, gin & tonic, gimlets), it has to be gin. I don’t understand what the fuck is up with the pussification of our alcoholic beverages with vodka. Alcohol should taste like something. (And this is coming from a Polack who grew up around the stuff. Screw vodka, give me something with taste.)
BBQ: Purist. If it ain’t cooked slowly over wood, don’t call it barbecue. Don’t you dare give me pork shoulder cooked in a crock pot with a gallon of KC’s Masterpiece and try to pass that shit off as “barbecue pulled pork.”
Hamburger: Purist. Ground meat, loosely packed. Salt. Pepper. That’s it. Don’t put anyfuckingthing else in the patty. I’ll let you get away with seasoned salt or some spices on the outside of the patty. But if I’m in the mood for a hamburger, I don’t want anything inside my meat.
Beer: Anti-purist. (Assuming a “purist” is a follower of the German beer purity law, aka Reinheitsgebot.) Yeah, I’m not a huge fan of adjuncts, but they can be judiciously used, and the Belgians throw the beer purity law right out the window and put candy sugar, coriander, orange peel, fruits, whateverthehell they feel like into their beers. And that this is all good with me. As long as it’s a beverage based on malted barley and hops, knock yourself out and throw whatever you feel like into it, as long as it ends up tasting good.
Poesy: As a songwriter, I’m adamant about avoiding what’s called assonance–no near-rhyming “hand” with “man”; or worse, “cram”; or (unthinkable!) “crams.” The rhythms must be singable along the musical line without forcing stress onto unstressed syllables. And inverted word order forbidden always will be (to give an example in the explanation…). Otherwise, anything goes.
I used to be a purist about physical CDs but since the CD single died that has become a bit difficult, but I’d still say I’m a purist about physical albums - if the album is available on CD, that’s what I’ll own it on. I buy digital singles but the only digital albums I’ve ever bought are ones that weren’t released in any other format.
I’m also a purist about waiting for release date to listen to an album. They leak all the time and usually by the time I’ve bought the CD and heard it for the first time everybody else is over it, but I like the whole ritual of going to the store, bringing it home and listening to it for the first time.
Whisky.
I was never a huge fan until I was given a shot of Balvenie 21 year-old Portwood.
oooooooooooooo!..aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh! now I know what the fuss is about.
And that baby needs to be drunk straight, In a suitably sized glass to swish, inhale and sip.
Ice? pah! water? tish and fipsy!
And, not sure this counts, probably more pit-fodder, but even when I’m singing along to a song alone…I leave the gaps in! don’t shorten the pauses people, the artist put the space in there for a reason.
PENS: I only use 0.38mm Uniball pens. The fine tip makes it loads of fun to draw, write kanji characters, create diagrams, etc.
I’ve also noticed I retain information much better when I actually write it down, rather than just reading it. So all of my Japanese/English terminology lists are handwritten, and I draw coronary arteries/blood vessels/biliary tree pictures when preparing for a meeting.
My dumpling Montand (RIP) was a kitty litter purist. If I put anything other than EverClean in the box, he’d take reading material and go pinch a loaf behind my toilet. That stuff’s imported here, and costs upwards of $15 a box, but it was a small price to pay for his (and my) comfort.
I’ve recently discovered that I’m Nestle Quik purist. I fully realize how ridiculous I sound writing this. Did you know it tastes different? Here in Japan all we get is the stuff destined for some Spanish-speaking country (I’m assuming from the Spanish printed on the label), so it contains some nasty-ass flavorings not found in Quik sold in the US. I have to stock up when I go back for a visit. I keep waiting to grow out of this habit, but it hasn’t happened yet.
Purist: Scotch is to be chilled into a rocks glass. If a shaker is unavailable, one cube (or cube equivalent) is the maximum.
If you don’t understand the chemical interplay between Scotch and modest amounts of water, you don’t deserve good Scotch (and therefore should give it to me).
AntiPurist: Though knowing what does what is crucial (particularly in baking), recipes are guidelines to be followed. If I want to alter it, I do so at my own risk.
Actually, the vast majority of Christmas trees are purpose-grown as Christmas trees; if people didn’t buy them, they’d never exist to be cut down in the first place.
LPs and CDs - Anti-purist. MP3s are lossy? Well, my entire auditory system is lossy too so I really can’t tell the damn difference. Expensive audio equipment is wasted on me, so all my music comes out of $12 speakers and headphones anyway. I’ll get the new Arcade Fire as MP3s and trust me, I won’t have lost out.
Chili (Purist) - There are plenty of threads out there wherein I pontificate and blather on the subject.
Good alcohol(Purist) - If you want to drink Old Overshoe and Dr pepper, have at it. But mixing a good whisk(e)y is a sin, as is serving it on the rocks.
BBQ(Purist) - Low and slow flies. High and fast dies.
I’m very adaptable, but if I could say I am a purist, there are a few (very) small things:
My undies must be thin, slippery, beige bikini briefs made of microfiber, by Haines. They don’t feel good covering my butt, they don’t ‘feel’ at all! Nothing else will do, and I hate digging out cotton or nylon underwear to tide me over while the comfy stuff is in the wash.
Cashmere sweaters are so light and warm and comfortable, I’m spoiled. Now any other sweater, be it wool, cotton, acrylic, rayon, or unknown fibers, feels heavy/scratchy/hot/oppressive!
Cocktail time: I do like a glass of nice dry sherry, which is almost unheard of now. It’s just the right thing, and one glass makes me happy and I don’t get a hangover! Beer and wine has its place, I don’t turn it down if offered, but my preference is dry sherry.
Hot dogs: snappy natural-casing types only, please! No ballpark franks, chicken/turkey doggers, no Oscar Meyer, those are only cheap bologna tubes that you heat and serve to young kids to fill up their stomaches. Need the snappy kind, German or white coonies. Mmm…
Oh, and incense and perfume. I like a certain scent of incense to take away the stank of house-a-tosis, and sweet n’ flowery isn’t my favorite. This expands to Glade plug-in thingies. I prefer the lightbulb ring that you dab with scented oil. Perfumes: I have a short list of lifelong favorites. While I appreciate the thought, those Bath & Body Works spray ons kind of make me gag and will probably be regifted.
Vodka purist: Stolichnaya, if you’re going to mix in fruit juice Smirnoff is the lower end of acceptable. I’ll have no truck with many of the top shelf vodkas cause I find that vodkas without taste are often imbibed by people without taste as well.
Ketchup purist: Heinz all the way, Hunts is for old folks homes and soup kitchens making it like red liquid government cheese.
Soy sauce purist: San-J Tamari Premium Soy Sauce is like Kikkoman only with taste.
Martini anti-purist: Perhaps it’s because I bartended too long but I haven’t met a picky Martini drinker that I liked…or that tipped.
Ice Cream: Vanilla Ice Cream should contain Cream, Sugar, and Vanilla beam. No guar gum or carragennan gum or any other kind of gum. I hate that Breyer’s screwed around with their plain recipe, and refuse to eat their stuff any more. No vanillin. No eggs (I don’t want French Vanilla)
