I was just reading that the Big Bang could happen again anytime. It doesn’t have to be a Big Bang either, it could be of any size.
What will you do if you’re sittting at home tonight and a brand new universe actualizes out of Planck space right there in your living room?
The figures are not widely available because this is a much overlooked phenomenom, but it seems pretty clear that we are greatly underestimating the dangers of new universe genesis.
Who knows how many people meet their untimely end due to virtual particles of unusual size that fail to completely self-anhiliate?
If you have children or loved ones can you afford to take this risk?
Do you have any idea what kind of damage a Big Bang can do to your house?
If you think insurance is going to cover it, you better reexamine that homeowners policy because you have another think coming.
You may think there’s little that you can do to avoid a Big Bang, but here you are in error, and there really is no excuse for not being prepared.
The best defense against a Big Bang is to catch it early during it’s inflationary period. If you can act decisively in the first 10 to the negative forty nine seconds, the chances are excellent that you and your household will be able to avert disaster and escape with little or no damages or injury.
This is why I keep a magnetic bottle of antiprotons stored safely in my accelerator at all times.
Doubtless like many homeowners you are also completely ignoring stochastic ooze. Stochastic ooze is a phenomenom where two or more solid objects can pass through each other without touching.
A homeowner needs to be aware of stochastic ooze for two reasons:
- Home security. Even the best security systems these days pay little heed to the stochastic ooze dangerm, and this is an unforgivable lapse.
It doesn’t matter how well your doors are bolted or your windows or locked, if an intruder can simply take advantage of quantum physics and walk right through them, can it?
The fact is that if your security system is not equipped with a high energy particle beam, you are woefully unprepared and completely vulnerable to stochastic ooze.
We’ve recently found that not a single house equipped with a high energy proton gun integral to the security system has ever been robbed. It’s a fact.
- Home maintenance. You probably check for termites, and for things like sagging roofs and foundations, but when was the last time your home was inspected for stochastic ooze?
If your foundation suddenly turned immaterial and slid through the crust and mantle of the earth down to its superheated center, do you have any idea how much damage that would do?
Can you imagine waking up and finding that your car has flowed through the wall of the adjoining garage and regained substantiality in the middle of your living room?
Are your rafters strong enough to support the weight? Have you reinforced your house against stochastic ooze?
Have you checked your pets for singularities? They could be bringing them into the house, and if you’re not paying attention a singularity can eat a lot of matter in a very short time period.
Please remember to prepare against Quantum Physics, and while we’re at it, be sure and always use a condom.