If it’s any comfort, I’m a lousy pool player, too. I’m lucky if I manage not to damage the felt.
I’m also probably the world’s worst drinker. One beer is often enough to make me pretty klutzy and generally incompetent, if I’m still awake by the time the beer is finished.
I’m very bad at paying attention to boring things. This is a serious detriment to my school performance sometimes. Yet I always seem to muddle through, somehow.
Billiards.
Sex.
Comforting people.
Writing interesting letters.
Talking to strangers.
Painting my fingernails.
Sewing by hand.
Doing anything before the last possible minute.
Riding the mechanical bull.
Going to the doctor’s office.
Baseball.
Running without looking like a fool.
U-turns.
Avoiding run-on sentences.
Being sexy on purpose.
Feeling good about myself.
I really suck at answering machine messages, too. The dumbest things just come out of my mouth. I’m not like that in person, but the phone makes a mockery of me.
Also, I simply cannot sing. I am tone-deaf. I have no concept of what notes sound like. I just sing the words, and raise my voice when the singer’s voice goes up and lower it when need be. It all sounds the same to me, even when I try to hear differences. I usually manage to harmonize, which makes me damn happy when I’m alone.
Yup, I’ve been treated like some sort of circus freak because I can’t sing. You’d think I was a leper with oozing sores and a lazy eye, the way some people treat me when I sing. People have asked me to please, please never do that again.
I tend to ignore the hair that grows on my ear lobes until someone notices and says yuk. Then I keep them tidy and check every couple of days for a couple of week - nothing is growing- then forget again.
RPGs, like Final Fantasy, etc. To say that I suck at them would be an understatement. I can’t ever get my sorry ass off the first mission or whatever the hell you call it. My brother laughs at me when I try.
Bowling. I actually once bowled a 23!
Mingling and/or schmoozing. I can do it, but I feel so horribly stiff I usually end up wanting the floor to open up and swallow me and the drink I’m clutching.
[li] Being on time for anything.[/li]
[li] Not shredding my cuticles.[/li]
[li] Anything vaguely arithmatical or mathematical.[/li]
[li] Cooking.[/li]
[li] Any sport except badminton.[/li]
[li] Going to church regularly.[/li]
[li] Stopping after three drinks.[/li]
[li] Sewing, knitting, embroidery.[/li]
Parallel parking.
Math. I have to use it everyday but I still suck at it. I think that is because I don’t have a genuine love for it. I’m intrigued by math because, in the right hands, it can describe some amazing stuff. In mine, I feel like the ape-man in 2001.
Any sport. Oh, I will participate, but just don’t pick me for your team.