Growing up I had a friend that had a terrible time remembering to wipe. He moved away, I wonder if he ever corrected himself?
Oh yeah, and I absolutely cannot, according to my partner, place the little poufy pillows correctly on the bed. Well, once I actually did do it right. He was out of town for a few days and the day he was coming home I made the bed up that morning (shh! don’t tell him I don’t bother to make the bed up when he’s gone)and (sounds of the Hallelujah Chorus playing in the background) actually placed the little poufy pillows just like they are supposed to be on the bed. I got accused of not sleeping in the bed for the whole time he was gone. I just can’t win with the little poufy pillows! <sigh>
Cleaning. I can do it, I just hate to, so I put it off constantly.
Rolling out cookie dough. It always sticks to the rolling pin and pisses me off, so I just don’t try making cut-out cookies anymore.
Confronting my mother when she pisses me off, which is all the time.
Getting myself to the gym, even though I know I should.
Sports.
Eating healthy.
I’m very shy, so making small talk is extremely painful for me.
Using the phone. I hate talking on it, except to my husband, and will avoid it at all costs. I’m OK answering the phone, but calling someone makes me freeze up. Email was a godsend for me.
Sheri
I recently made my karaoke debut singing…wait for it… “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” by Elton John and Kiki Dee. I was Kiki. It was sort of a My Best Friend’s Wedding moment, because everyone was silent for the first minute, but I just kept singing and dancing like I didn’t care and they started clapping and cheering. It was really fun, but I’ll never ever do it again.
Oh, darn. I forgot so many things…and I thought I wasn’t that helpless.
Add to my list:
- parallel parking
- billiards
- any game harder than checkers
- buying clothes that fit well
- asking people for a favor
Well, that bites, Sara. I guess we should get blitzed and laugh at everyone then, huh? 
Driving. Someone in the “what are you good at thread” said that everyone thinks they are a good driver. Not me. I am one of the worst drivers ever to get behind the wheel. I can’t back out of a driveway properly. When I’m rear-ended, it’s my fault. You’ll be glad to know that I have voluntarily given up the attempt except in cases of dire emergency.
Also:
Cooking
Cleaning
Interior decorating
Shutting up
Bowling. My highest game is 139. If I break 100 I’m happy.
Parallel parking. Have not done that since I had to do so in order to get my license at age 16. I will walk 10 blocks rather than parallel park.
Many, many other things, but this is enough for now.
Braiding. I finally learned how to braid (at the age of 28) only because I was bored one day and had nothing better to do. I called in my 4 year old daughter and she ended up with the best braid ever. I’ve not since been able to do it again.
As for that matter hairstyling of any sort. I don’t even dry my hair before leaving the house. I curl my bangs with one of those hot air curling irons so it dries as it curls. The rest of it air dries, and usually ends up looking pretty ratty in the process. So I have to carry a brush with me everywhere.
Painting my nails. Do you get the picture that I can’t really do anything of a feminine nature?
Playing guitar. But since I just started taking lessons about 4 months ago, I’ll give myself time on that one.
Managing my time wisely. I’ve got finals in about a week and a half, I’m 3 chapters and 2 tests behind on my internet course, and I’m posting at the SDMB. 'Nuff said.
If I listed all the things that I’m shamefully bad at, I’d need my own message board to list’em. But the only one that really annoys me is that I can’t throw a baseball left handed. I can shoot basketball as a lefty. I can bat left handed. I can play hand ball with my left hand. But when I try to throw a ball overhand, I throw like a little girl. Aaarrrgghh!!
Ben
Parallel parking? Isn’t that an oxymoron?
Math (I don’t do math and I am not embarrassed by this. I relish and mustard my ignorance in this subject!)
Listening to someone’s boo-hoo self pity story. I usually zone out and murmur the “Hmmmm, yes…” [sub]Which is a thousand percent better than my usual insert foot into mouth and be blunt and tell the person to pull themselves up by their bra straps. [/sub]
Whistling - I know this seems dumb. but I just can’t get it.
Anything involving hand-eye coordination.
Dealing with even mildly embarassing situations.
Accepting compliments.
Dating.
Actually meeting members of the opposite sex.
Acting.
Looking in the mirror and liking what I see.
Forgetting past injustices.
Getting up in the morning.
Relating to children.
Determining how old people are.
Gaydar.
Ironing.
God, I feel like an incompetent boob now.
Flirting. I have been flirted with, and feel absolutely ridiculous trying to flirt back. It’s a game, and I can’t do it.
Shopping. I go shopping knowing exactly what I want, and if I can’t find it within five minutes, I get horribly frustrated and leave.
Leaving answering machine messages.
Shutting up. I am a talkative person.
Being tactful. It never occurs to me that people might want to keep some stuff quiet til too late. I blurt out personal information all the time.
The combination of all the above makes it very difficult for me to like myself. If I knew me, I’d probably be seriously annoyed by me. I’m trying to change, but it’s hard. Working hard on developing a brain-to-mouth filter.
Dancing, definitely—almost anything involving hand-eye coordination actually, especially sports where I have to hit a ball with something held in my hands.
-Mental math.
-Turning off the car or leaving home before the song I’m listening to is over.
-Not being obsessively clean, neat and organized. (Is no reflection of how I keep my life or head)
-Not rationing food. It usually spoils before I feel like I can spare it to feed myself.
-Eating really unhealthy food. I used to like it, I wish I liked it sometimes, but I just can’t eat it anymore.
-Allowing people to get away with stretching the truth.
-Tuning out repetitive, unpleasant, human face noises such as sniffing, coughing, chewing, swallowing, crunching, sipping, slurping, hiccups, throat clearing, gum smacking and popping etc. This started when I was 8 years old.
-Getting out of the car with all of my things quickly. I’m usally sitting there getting things together, double checking, triple checking, finishing the song, and being yelled at by whoever is waiting for me.
Lying. Which sucks because I’m a compulsive liar. Whenever I start a perfectly good lie I always have to put in all kinds of fanciful elements until I crack up or thep erson I’m talking to walks away.
I can’t lie, either. I can’t make eye contact with the person I’m lying to, and I get flushed and hot and stutter.
I guess I’ll never be a good criminal.
I’m pleased to see so many people cannot parallel park, because I am freakishly good at it. I can back into all sorts of tiny spaces with my huge old lady car. When I was learning to drive, my instructor was shocked because I did it perfectly the very first time. I spend a lot of time in the city, so it comes in handy.
Music. Cannot carry a tune, cannot play an instrument.
Sports. I love the camaraderie of team sports and I admire the discipline of athletes, but I can’t even catch a ball to save my life. What’s more, I can’t never follow the terminology and rules, so I suppose I’m a pretty lousy spectator as well.
Make-up. I can’t even put on lipstick properly, although I’m not shameful of this. I wear my bare skin proudly (with the occasional sunblock).
Critiquing food and making recommendations. If it doesn’t smell or taste horrendously foul, I’ll eat it. My standard answer to “How’s your dinner?” would be “It’s okay”. I’m not fussy, to the point where I don’t really care what or where I eat.
Calling people on the phone. I hate having phone conversations. If you called me up in the middle of the night wanting to talk, chances are, I’d volunteer to go over to your place to have an all night one-to-one.
Bring it on.
I am a 15 year old guy. Must 15 year old guys are good at sports, but I am not good at any.