What, are you STUPID? Geez!

The BBQ Pit
1

Young couple walks into the bar tonight. For the first few rounds, the guy is the one fetching and paying for drinks.

Last call: his girlfriend/date/bitch wearing lime green/whatever walks up to the bar and orders two more of the same.

I say, “That’ll be five-fifty.”

She digs a five out of her wallet. “Five even?”

“No. Five fifty.”

She does the dreaded Change Scrape along the bottom of her purse; it’s obvious this young lady doesn’t intend to surprise me by tipping me.

Time passes. Spring turns into summer, the squirrels have harvested all the season’s nuts, the trees are turning gold, there is a faint chill in the air, and…

LO! She can’t find fifty cents, after foraging through her purse as if it’s a manhole instead of a tiny pleather knockoff.

So she says, “Do you take Mastercard?”

“Sure.”

I run her card, print the two receipts, and hand them to her with a pen.

I watch her. I see that she signs the receipt and ignores the space above the signature line that says

Tip:_________

Total:_______

So I lean forward and say, “You need to fill that part out, please.”

She looks up and stares blankly at me. Obviously this whole paying-for-her-own-beer thing is totally new, and she needs guidance.

So I continue, as kindly as possible, “You can zero out the tip if you like, but you do need to fill in the whole thing, either way. It’s for your own security.”

And this is when her whole head might as well start revolving; she gives me this Eat Shit And Die glare, as if I’ve suggested that she write me a check for my rent, and walks off. Without picking up her own copy of the receipt.

What the fuck? How hard is it to understand that if you leave both those spaces blank, with your signature along the bottom, I can fill in whatever the fuck I think I deserve? And since you didn’t even take your copy of the receipt, you’ll have no way to prove that you didn’t tip me whatever figure I decide on? How is drawing your attention to this a huge, awful insult?

I won’t lie; telling people to fill those spaces in when they are left blank is a gentle and gracious way for me to draw their attention to the fact that they have stiffed me. Sometimes people get a little drunk and a little careless. No big deal; I’m not a bitch. (Usually.) A single tip on a $5.50 transaction isn’t going to make or break my tip jar. But if they really do intend to stiff me, a zero with a line through it makes it clear and covers their ass. (Even when I’m tipped cash on a credit card transaction, I still tell people they should fill in the blanks. This is common sense!)

I’ve never once filled in a credit card receipt that was left blank; that’s asking for unholy karma and I just don’t fuck with that. But does this bitch think everybody is as scrupulous as I am? Particularly when she leaves her ass hanging like that with both copies of the transaction on the bar, and a look on her face that says “Fuck you!”

And yet I’m the bitch here. :rolleyes:

Geez! Does this make sense to anyone else?

Please tell me I am not insane.

:confused:

2

So, how much tip did you “add” to that charge? I think next month’s rent has been paid.

Na, you did the right thing but I agree, it really pisses me off when you try to be nice to somebody and they shit on you. I commend you for your honesty when most people wouldn’t be.

3

O.K., I would have added a $500.00 tip, but that’s just me. Oops, typo.

4

Well, let’s first of all bear in mind that, almost certainly, alcohol was involved.

Second, yeah, she was a jerk, and a dumb one, too.

5

She might just be a dumb jerk when she is drunk, who knows? You did the right thing, Audrey.

How long have you been working as a bartender? I’m sure you’ve had to have experienced far worse if you haven’t started very recently.

6

If I may hijack a little, Audrey, let me make sure I’m clear on something. I waited tables for a few years, and this was always the policy at my job, but when questioned about it by my SO, I started to wonder if it was really the law, or just something somebody pulled out of his/her ass.

If I pay for my meal and/or drinks with a credit card, have had maybe one too many and screw up the math with the tip, you (as my server) are required to adhere to whatever’s in the “TOTAL” line (as opposed to the “TIP” line), right?

Let’s say the bill comes to $40.00, and I want to leave you an $8.00 tip. So I write $8.00 in the tip line, but have a brain fart and write $58.00 in the total line.

Have I or have I not just given you an $18.00 tip?

I ask because on those occasions when I am having a brain fart and can’t get the math together, I’ll just write in a total and leave the “tip” line blank. I generally round it off–for example, if the bill is $19.63, I’ll think, “OK, so that’s 20 bucks, and 20% of that would be a $4.00 tip, so I’ll just write $25.00 in the TOTAL line, and let someone else figure out the tip.”

Does this still leave me open for my server to write, say, $100.00 in the tip line, and make off with a lot more of my money than I intended (which has never happened thus far)?

OK, hijack over.

In response to the OP, let me say that I applaud your consideration of Karma.

7

First of all, she was wearing lime green. She deserves our contempt for that alone.

Secondly, I think you called it when you said she’d probably never paid for her own drinks before in her life.

Thirdly, she’s probably never worked a job which required dealing directly with money and has no idea of how credit card slips work.

You were nicer to her than she deserved.

8

auntie em, I used to work in service, too, and in response to your hijack, yes, filling out the total alone works fine. It’s just leaving the total blank that’s a HUGE mistake if you get a dishonest serviceperson, and yes, there are some out there. (At the place where I used to work they fired about three people for doing exactly that…)

If you want to be on the safe side, of course, it’s best to fill out the tip as well.

To the OP, I guess the alcohol involved had something to do with it but still that’s no excuse for being a total bitch! She should be grateful you pointed out what you did, maybe she’ll learn the hard way one day.

9

Creative_Munster, I’ve been bartending for about 2 1/2 years now; I’ve had bitchier/ruder/more obnoxious/incredibly offensive/“you’re so cut off!” customers before…but usually I am not trying to help them when they shit all over me. :wink: I think that’s what pissed me off so much about Lime Green Girl.

auntie em, the Science of Credit Card Tipping–b/c as I’m sure you recall, people screw up the math all the time–is basically Whichever Number Is Lower. Any restaurant/bar manager will go for the lower number to save themselves the bullshit if they’re wrong.

But a lot of managers don’t check, and a few servers would just add a one to the $8.00 tip on that incorrectly added $58.00 total. If the customer loses their copy of the receipt, this is hard to contest, and a tip has to be really outrageous for it to catch a manager’s eye. Eighteen on forty is a really good tip, but it isn’t a red flag.

Having said all that, though, most servers don’t think the money involved is worth the risk, so credit card receipt “doctoring” doesn’t happen very often. Particularly when at least part of the tip/total area is filled in.

And yes, the letter of the law is supposed to be the total, not the tip.

Or so I was told, too. :smiley:

10

They call it a gratuity for a reason, when it becomes a requirement it’s no longer a gratuity, its part of the fucking charge of the drinks.

11

There are many instances where a gratuity is required. It is still a gratuity. But the OP wasn’t about not tipping, it was about Stupidity.

I would think you could relate.

12

Tell it to the legislators that wrote the laws that allow servicepeople to get paid less than minumum wage, Blalron. Tipping is not a requirement. You have the freedom to choose to be an asshole.

13

Blalron is apparently not a believer in reading entire posts, I see. He just got to the part where it appeared I was trying to require a tip, and then got all pissed off before he realized what the hell I was actually saying.

Just like the Lime Green Girl in my OP!

Wow! I didn’t know she had family in Oregon.

14

Well now you know, Audrey. And knowing is half the sub-total.

15

When I pay with a card,if at all possible I leave the good ole green on the table, better yet I give it directly to the server. That keeps Sam from knowing what they got as well as no hassle of getting the tip later with the pay check.

16

While we feel the cash luv there, herman_and_bill, I think you should know that credit card tips are instant, same as cash; the credit card tip is subtracted from the waiter’s “cash owed” for the night. The restaurant is the one who waits for it.

But we appreciate the low profile from Uncle Sam. :wink:

17

The law does not permit servicepeople to earn less than minimum wage.

It does permit an employer to pay servicepeople less than minimum wage, and for tip income to make up the difference.

But if a particular waiter did not make enough in tips to reach minimum wage, his employer would be required to make up the difference.

  • Rick
18

Audrey, I think you might be being a little too harsh on the girl. Not that it matters. If the girl was a lightweight, she could have been intoxicated. And from personal experience, I know that I am far more likely to misinterpret the intentions of others when I’m loaded than when I’m my sober, loveable, rational self.

19

Probably, but not always. Some shades of black women look fabulous in lime or light green. It’s not a shade for everyone, so unless you are this guy :stuck_out_tongue: then lime green is ok all the time.

20

First, I had an usher at a theatre call me rude to my back last weekend, after I felt I hadn’t been rude at all. There was a mix-up with the automated machine tickets and we were already late for the movie, so I guess I didn’t spend enough time expressing my eternal gratitude to him for telling me to go see the manager - I just went to see the manager. ANYway, I feel your pain, Audrey. Nothing like people acting like you damaged them in some way when you really didn’t. (Oh, for the record, I guess I was rude to him in the end, when I told him to kiss my ass after he called me rude to my back. Maybe he was forecasting the future.)

Second, welcome to the Boards, Jaelen. I think you’ll fit right in around here.

Third, I want to change my username to Lime Green Girl now.

Fourth, all this talk about lime green has made me thirsty.