I mostly just care that my older-than-me relatives don’t fucking remember that I’m not on Facebook. (Yet.) Sue me for still being wary of a psycho ex-friend who’s friends-of-friends on Facebook.
And I did list my actual peeves with Facebook, which is another reason I’m slow to join up. 
People who constantly post about how difficult their life is, even though they are just doing normal things.
Some examples?
“Have to cook dinner… AGAIN. #lifeFAIL#”
“Had coffee and now dealing with studying FOR HOURS.”
“Can’t believe I had to shovel my driveway twice today!”
“An oil change? WTF??”
“Terrified to study for my final in <48 hours.”
This is when the beauty of “Hide Feed” comes into play.
A-fucking-men.
I have one friend from college who continually posts rubbish like:
“Snuggling up to a DVD with my prince”
“What a lovely lie in, and now spending time with my prince”
Lady, I met your prince, he was a fucking arsehole then and I doubt he got better. The only reason this girl isnt the worst on my feed is because the baby mamas are out in full force these days, and the useless twat who updates us with every tv show he watches is still watching fucking tv.
Vague Drama Queens are my least favorite. I don’t mind the occasional, ‘‘I’m feeling sad today,’’ because damn, sometimes you just feel sad - but when every post you make sounds like you’ve just been confronted with the world’s most nondescript emergency, it’s time to dial it back a little.
I also do not enjoy the Passive Aggressive Poster. These are the ones who post angry diatribes about how they won’t tolerate no disrespect from other Facebookers, but instead of like, telling the person who pissed them off, they just let it out into the Facebook universe so that they can have plausible deniability.
The Passive Aggressive Poster combined with the TMI Poster is the worst. I have a family on my friend’s list that I like quite a lot, but I know more about their lives then I really need to know. Barfing, breastfeeding, psychological breakdowns (complete with Passive Aggressive ‘‘DON’T JUDGE ME!’’ posts), it’s all there, for the world to see.
Closely related to the Passive Aggressive Poster is the Self-Righteous Poster. I don’t need a long unprompted screed about how you refuse to engage in political discussions because you’ve sacrificed soooo muuuuuuch for your military husband throughout your entire two year relationship. Sacrifice in marriages isn’t just a military thing. Hell, it’s not even a marriage thing. It’s life.
I just realized all of these rants are about the same person.
After perusing STFU Couples and STFU Parents, I realize how lucky I have it. And how glad I am that there is a “Hide Feed” option.
Chain statuses are a scourge upon the earth. “Runny noses afflict over 30 million people each year. If you know someone who suffers from runny noses, copy and paste this as your status. Most of you won’t do it, but the ones who do are my TRUE FRIENDS.” Shut the fuck. up.
Another pet peeve is Crazy Facebook Parents. They fall into one of two categories: 1) they won’t shut up about how awesome and beautiful their precious babies are (and to prove it they post 95 photos a day of their kid in exactly the same pose), or 2) they won’t shut up about how their kids are driving them batshit insane and woe is them for having to put up with such ungrateful brats. Of course, the parents who start out in category #1 will end up in category #2 by the time the kid is about 12.
Folks who literally live on Facebook and feel the need to comment or ‘like’ every link, status update or photo that appears on their news feed, usually only seconds behind the poster. I don’t believe they realize that being zealous about their FB relationship maintenance merely indicates they have nothing better to do.
Now, I don’t mind receiving feedback for items I post, I just don’t need it all the time from the same bloody people.
If your heart is a flame burning brightly you’ll have light and you’ll never be cold…
I made thisfor a friend (who’s a friend in real life) who was particularly annoying with her “ville” requests- she still includes me. I wish there was a way to send this automatically to every Frontierville request but there’s none I can find. I have posted it as my profile pic a few times.
I’ve thought of creating Plantationville: “Evict the redskins from their ancestral lands! Buy slaves! Clear the fields! Plant cotton til the soil screams for mercy! Build a big pillared mansion! Protect it from the Yankees! Oops, got some runaways, break out the whips!”, but again no go.
why so much hate for people who have 1000+ friends? that offense seems the most passive out of all of the fb peeves, yet… it seems like it’s drawing just as much ire as the biblethumpers
I’ve actually defriended a few people who are constantly posting urban legends and nonsense (most of it anti-Obama) that is so easily Snopes-able and sometimes has been there for years. I wonder: Do people just not know about Snopes?
Oh, another one: People who use their personal feeds to constantly shill for their home business, usually something along the lines of selling catalog jewelry or party candles or something. “Time’s running out to buy shitty fake jewelry at 40% off for May!” It is impossible for me to express in English words the depth to which I do not give a shit.
Also, the people who are participating in some kind of online contest where you can vote once per day, and post every single day to remind people to vote for them. I’ve had one person do this so that her daughter can be featured on the cover of next month’s home jewelry sales catalog (I’m not making this up) and one person trying to win a Disney wedding with her fiance. Both are perma-hidden now.
You do know you can block posts from any FB ap, right? I haven’t seen a Farmville or Mafia wars (is that what it was called?) post in over a year.
One good feature on FB is the ability to block posts from somebody without having to remove them as a FB “friend.” My problem is that one of my friends posts interesting, local news updates, new music I wouldn’t have heard otherwise, etc., so I don’t want to block her. But the 80% of the rest of her posts are of the “I’m tired.” “TGIF” “Nice sunset tonight” variety. Impulse control, people!
What I hate most about facebook is the treasurehunt user interface: Buttons that don’t appear 'till you mouse over them. Words that are buttons for functions not strongly related to the actual word. Lame assed search function. I know what company Mark Smith works for, (In fact I know 3 Mark Smiths) but I have to search through 100 buhzillian Mark Smiths to maybe find the one I want.
What I hate second is not having your picture on your profile. The fact that it is called FACEbook and not PICTUREOFARAINBOWbook should be a clue. X10 if your name is Mark Smith, or Ann Jones.
Sports updates piss me off too.
People whose profile picture is of their kid. It doesn’t bother me so much if the pic is something else (my wife’s, for instance, is our cat) but it shouldn’t be of SOMEBODY else. (A pic WITH your kid is fine.)
Oh, this indeed. I have a FB friend I’m considering either unfriending or hiding because of his frequent religious status updates which almost always include the word blessed.
Does the very existence of Facebook qualify as a “peeve”? The “walled garden” nature of the thing, so antithetical to the entire concept of the WWW, locking all content into one closed ecosystem, leading people to foolishly believe that they have made something available because they put it on Facebook. It is the return to the Bad Old Days of AOL, Prodigy and Compuserve.