What are your biggest peeves on Facebook?

Other than spam and hackers and the like, what do you hate when people do on Facebook?

For me of course

Farmville requests

Frontierville requests

Anythingville requests

My biggest peeves though are Buzzkill Posts. You’re limited to 420 characters as a post- KEEP IT LIGHT. At least 90% of the time or more. Examples of buzzkill posts:

I’m middle aged, like most middle aged people I’ve lost loved ones to most of the major causes of death, but c’mon. This isn’t the place for it.

More than that though, the Vague Drama Queen posts. Example:

It’s one thing if this is due to major medical or major life crisis, but even if it is specify what it is (“I was just diagnosed with Flaming Bladder Syndrome and the only treatment involves ingesting live horse flesh in Omaha”) so that we’ll know why you’re praying for strength or whatever. I hate it when they’re clearly wanting somebody to ask

and then when it’s something relatively minor you want to slap them.

And of course glurge. Here’s one posted on a college educated friend’s site- somebody you’d think would see the 99 easily visible to the naked eye problems with this:

And this had many likes and “Oh halleluia!” comments. I don’t dispute that a burglar with a resemblance to early 70sPaul McCartney might have shoved somebody into a meat locker while robbing a butcher store once and said person might even have said “It looked like the guy with Wings” to the cops when let out, but I hope that if angels are playing “Let’s get you to safety little man!” they’d

1- remember to let the kid out when the natural disaster is over
2- maybe throw in some snacks and drinks and a battery operated nightlight for the wait
3- better yet, just airlift him to some place out of destruction’s path altogether

“Little boy located in Butte, Montana five minutes after he was seen playing at Alabama home destroyed by tornado” is way more impressive.

Anyway, anything you can’t stand that people or bots do or post on Facebook?

I’m sure I can come up with more later, but the first thing that leaps to mind is play-by-play sports coverage. Look, if I wanted a play-by-play of the game, I’d be watching the goddamn game. Some people make one post and then all subsequent commentary goes in the comments for that post. I like that. What I do not like is 15 consecutive posts along the lines of “Come on refs!” or “That play was unbelievable!” as though everyone else on your feed is watching the exact same game you are. Clue: we’re not.

I think links are the new pet peeve.

“Oh, you have seven different links to Kings of Leon songs, all plastered over my feed, how nice. Now go lick a heifers anus you boring twat.”

Reminds me: People who post song lyrics as their statuses, not just once but constantly. I’d rather read “Gotta vacuum the living room” than Hüsker Dü lyrics everytime I see your name.

I hate when people are friends with their parents and/or older-generation relatives (aunts, uncles, etc). My friends censor themselves because of their parents, some friends have censored what I have put on their wall because of their parents (not swearing, I promise) and some just say “Oh, they can deal with what I say” but I guarantee you those folks are censoring themselves too.

I also hate that my best friend friends anyone who requests his friendship. Mostly stupid, annoying people. They post stupid annoying replies to his status, and he also misses a lot of quality newsfeed material by his important friends because his 400 friends have Farmville updates.

Anyone who ever uses the word “blessed.”

It’s the Fluffy Bunny posters that drive me nuts.

“Isn’t the sunshine great today?”
“I love donuts, don’t you?”
“So glad to be alive today!!!”
“My kids are so cute!!”
“Isn’t everything just rainbows and lollipops?”

Just once I want to see one of these Pollyanna’s let loose with a, “I’m going to fucking kill my neighbor, that flaming asshole!”
And you’ve reminded me that I need to unfriend at least one acquaintance, for the sin of being 42 years old and posting nothing but links to Hair Metal videos, with comments like, “Yngvie fucking rooools, dude!@!”

In fact, if Facebook didn’t prove handy for keeping in contact with the boys in the band, I couldn’t figure out a use for it at all.

See … no fluffy bunnies for me, damnit.

Top 10 annoying Facebook user types: You most definitely either have at least one–or are at least one.

Assuming everyone else is on Facebook. This goes for people who post (here or elsewhere) links to their photos on Facebook, which you can’t see unless you have an account that you’re logged into, and relatives who assume I know about various family gatherings/plans/etc because they posted about it on Facebook. Christ, I’m going to have to cave in and sign up, and then I’ll have to deal with crap like annoyance because I’m not on it 24/7 or don’t do chat or don’t respond to passive-aggressive “vaguebooking” statuses or play sheep to the “repost this or else you must want little babies to die horribly, asshole” meme statuses.

Of course they avoided the most irritating Facebooker, the Godful.

“Like” if you love Jesus!!!

What’s been leaving my cheese out in the wind lately are the increasing requests from organizations, companies, and corporations that I personally “like” them on facebook. This happens both on and off the site itself. I get it, you want to increase your online consumer base, visibility, blah blah buzzwords, whatever. It’s annoying as hell. It’s a transparent request for positive public opinion. And it’s just another way to let the corporations inundate me with advertisements, promotions, and their increasingly-focused knowledge of my lifestyle habits. No thank you.

People who have 1000+ friends. Really? You personally know 1000 people? I don’t think so.

Foursquare, or any similar thing that posts where someone is at any given time (i.e. “down the shops”, “at work” or, perhaps most thrillingly, “at home”) is the absolute pinnacle of I don’t care, and is my biggest Facebook peeve.

The ones I hate most–the very very most, more than the “here’s a picture of my kid taking a dump, isn’t it awesome?” parents, more than the avid gameplayers who publish every little thing about their game, more than the “repost if you have a second cousin who” memers, even more than the “like if you love Jesus” God-botherers-- are the people who won’t shut the fuck up about how much they love their spouses. If you’re married, I’m just going to assume you love your spouse until you tell me otherwise. It’s really not necessary to write a novel about how great he is every. single. day.

The goddamn fucking jesus freaks. WWJD? Tell you to STFU!

Is that the program that will say “Joey is at the Four Star Diner” or “City Hall” or “Winn Dixie Grocery Store” or whatever? Either way I’ve wondered if anybody’s had their house robbed due to that annoying thing. At my most egomaniacal I’ve never felt anybody really wanted or needed to know that I was at the Dollar General or Olive Garden.

Extra points when it’s something like a natural disaster or whatever. “We must trust God has a plan for us…” or “Let’s all give our thoughts and prayers to those affected in the ____”. (That’s the least you can do isn’t it? No, it’s the least you can do, isn’t it?) I really hope they taste especially good to zombies when the outbreak comes.

Don’t know if this counts since it’s not technically “on” Facebook, but it’s really fucking irritating when non-Facebook users pop into Facebook-related threads (or any other kind of social media) just to announce that they don’t use Facebook and how annoying it is that everyone else is using it. Well gee, Gramps, if you don’t want to use it, that’s your prerogative and kudos to you for acknowledging that the world’s changing. However, it’s time to accept that kids these days just don’t give a crap that your hand written letter communications worked just fine back in the day. Those days are gone, and refusing to participate and trying to make a statement about it doesn’t scream “I don’t care therefore I’m cool” but rather “I’m bitterly resenting that I can’t keep up with technology”.

People shouldn’t post anything they wouldn’t call you up on the phone and tell you. Like would you call me and tell me you’re going to vacuum the living room? Of course not. Then why the fuck post it on facebook? Nobody cares.

Moved Cafe Society --> IMHO.