Let’s get this bullshit over with.
I ask myself “If I knew what I was doing, what would I do?” Then I try that.
Also, if there’s nothing I can do, there’s nothing I have to do.
Regards,
Shodan
Just one more step. Just one more step. Just one more step.
My wife passed away about 12 years ago after a struggle against brain cancer. It was the toughest 2+ years of my life. At several points, I just sat on the kitchen floor and wept because I didn’t think I could cope with the situation. Towards the end, I started telling myself some Elvis Costello lyrics: “You can’t show me any kind of hell that I don’t know already.” Things might not get much better, but they can’t get worse.
Since then, I remind myself of this. IRS sends a nastygram? Car needs a lot of work? Employment terminated? A friend passes away? It may not have happened to me before, but it’s not nearly as bad as what HAS happened.
“Zoloft, Zoloft, Zoloft, Zoloft…”
This too, shall pass.
For personal situations: “It wont always be like this.”
At work: “This is not my passion.”
In public if I did/said something embarrassing: “I’ll never see these people again.”
Faced with a physically demanding situation like a steep ski hill, large climb on a bicycle or hiking up/down a mountain peak: “Well, it’s not gonna go away.”
The variant I know is: Even this will pass away.
For disasters: Nothing is ever as good or as bad as it initially seems; or Nobody died.
For impossible tasks: You know how you eat an elephant?
If all else fails: Let’s do it.
Regarding the last, it has a double meaning. Others may think I mean, Let’s get on with this with fortitude. I do mean that; but these were also the last words of Gary Gilmore before he was executed.
j
When I experience severe anxiety, I use a series of cognitive behavioral therapy questions to work through it. Sometimes I just skip to the last one: Is it useful? (where “it” refers to me having anxiety or freaking out)
Either there’s some purpose to my anxiety, in which case I can work toward that purpose, or there’s no purpose to it, in which case I can stop worrying.
I like that. Sorta like: “If a problem can be solved, there is nothing to worry about. If a problem can’t be solved, then worrying will do no good.”
I’m agoraphobic and certain things trigger me. Not always. Not always equally.
I’m a runner. When I feel the panic rising often I can stop it by holding on to a table edge, a pole or chair back.
If I ever start running out it’s too late. I’m gone.
And talk all you want if I’m leaving, I’m leaving. Just how it is.
I’m working on it, I promise.
Mantras are mostly useless.
In my experience, panic (at least for me) usually has a biological component. When I address the biological component it tends to get much better.
I’ve had issues with low blood sugar, trouble breathing at night, dysregulated cortisol, thyroid issues, etc. and they all cause anxiety issues. When those get fixed the anxiety gets better. A mantra wouldn’t fix it.
Someday I will be dead. And then I will never have to talk to these assholes again.
Faced with impossible odds, dire situations, horriiffic/
disgusting/ onerous tasks, I take a deep breath and say “I’m Going In!”
Owaa tagoo samai
I just say it over and over and over until I calm down.
Try it!
Monty Python’s Galaxy song can help put things into perspective.
Also, there’s Carl Sagan’s excerpt/photo of A Pale Blue Dot. But, depending on your interpretation, that may not always help.
Lately, the tenets of Stoicism have been valuable. I owe thanks to **Chad Sudan **in a recent thread for the introduction.
That’s a very limited view. I do have some physical issues that can cause anxiety, most notably lack of sleep. I work hard to have good sleep hygiene to ensure that I’m in the best condition to not experience anxiety.
However, I have also found that a substantial part of my anxiety is purely psychological, and can be reduced by actively guiding my thoughts using cognitive behavioral therapy techniques. Many times I have experienced physical symptoms of anxiety (stomach pain, excessive sweating, etc.) and been able to make them go away by using CBT to change the way I am thinking.
Everyone needs to find the techniques that work best for them, but thought exercises, including mantras can have real value and should not be dismissed as a valid approach to dealing with certain physical symptoms.
Deep breathing, emptying the mind. A dropperful of CBD oil often, though not always, dissipates anxiety in the middle of the night, trying to sleep when something you dread is on your mind.
“Stay cool and don’t panic”. Sometimes a mantra works immediately, but other times, I have to repeat it often during the day. Nevertheless, these words help me to prevent myself from despair.