Here are all my cats, in chronological order. Muffin, black cat, originally named Moose by previous owner, but renamed Muffin because she liked be carried around in your hands like a muff, and because she once ate a pan of blueberry muffins. She was a good mama to six kittens and a ferocious killer despite her name, and the smartest cat I’ve ever had.
Then there was Moose, a huge black stray who fell in love with Muffin and adopted us, though Muffin would never let him even groom her. When Muffin was stolen from us by our neighbors, Moose sat on their front steps everyday for 5 months until we discovered they had her and other neighbors stole her back for us. He never went in their yard again once she was home. His neck was so big we had to buy dog collars for him, and he had torn-up ears from fights. But we once squirted him with a squirtgun for trying to climb the Christmas tree, and he was so humiliated he hid under the bed for two days.
Then came Max, a grey-and white gentleman also known as Stretchy-baby because he liked to be picked up under his front legs like a baby, and just hang there.
Next came Cleo, another black stray, who is now about 14 years old and lovable but not as bright as Muffin.
Then came Chloe, a grey stray found in a woodpile. She has this gravelly voice like an aging barmaid, and the libido to match. We think she got pregnant 4 times before she got fixed, but she never had the kittens.
And lastly is Tweak, a calico found in a box in a BP bathroom. She is the cutest thing, a terrible scrounger and loves my son to death. No matter what you are eating, she wants some of it, and she wants it now.
There was also a dog, Coco, a yellow lab-Irish Setter mix…unfortunately she got the setter brains…would try to catch helicopters when they flew low over our house to land in the field behind us. One day we let her out to go catch one…she got halfway up the hill towards it then realized it was really big…turned tail and came right back, cowering in fear.
