[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Baloo *
**Specifically, it’s the jerks who pull up to their girlfriend’s apartment at 3:00 a.m. and start HONKING THEIR HORN!!!
And the people who have their car radios blaring at
3:00 a.m. I don’t like your music when I’m awake.
I sure as hell don’t like it waking me up in
the middle of the night.
Communists (as some here will attest)
But Alcohol has the reverse effect.
telemarketers! what about telemarketers!!! they have beady eyes and smell bad and only call when i am changing a diaper
Edwardina!! I feel your pain. I have your exact job, except it comes with a really nifty title. I too am a human speedbump…
religious fundies, rap-blasting gangstas who think they’re tough, and flag burners.
Oh, and any “dog” smaller than 20lbs. Those aren’t dogs, they’re little fucking yapping mutant rodents.
I’m a dog person. I love big dogs. Had 'em all my life. But those fucking goddamn yapping pests irritate me to no end.
Airports. I always turn into such an ogre having to deal with so many people who act like they’ve never flown before. TAKE ALL THE METAL SHIT OUT OF YOUR POCKETS BEFORE YOU WALK THROUGH THE METAL DETECTOR! YOU KNOW HAVING 50 KEYS ON A RING WILL SET IT OFF! YOU ARE SLOWING ME DOWN!
Sorry for the rant, I feel better now.
And here I thought we couldput aside our differences. That’s it tradesilicon you are going on my list
Diabolical fun evil? telemarketers, prank phone calls…anything where I can toy with someone focused on getting a result that I can mess with.
example:
Prissy old lady telemarketer: Hi, I am Ms. Meredith Martin calling on behalf of Industrious Enterprises, may I speak to Mr. Harmon Everett?
Me (in a low sultry, almost cheap voice): He’s… unavailable… Do you want me to… take him a message?
Ms. Martin (after a sharp intake of breath): Is this his wife?
Me (laughing softly): No, honey, not at all
<click>
People who don’t know how to drive, my boss and my ex-boyfriend.
RAAR!
When this happens, I get medieval. I hate it because it can take me in no time from my usual sweet, smell-the-roses, got-a-smile-on my-face, Pollyanna feeling to a cloud-darkening, fire-breathing brachy in her f-me shoes and rising beyond her 5-foot 9-inch height, grabbin’ a fish descaler to flay skin mentality.
Someone parking in my parking space at my apartment.
Testosterone makes you giggle huh? :eek:
Will the rest of you excuse us? 
::quickly whisks AudreyK out of room::
People who constantly restate the obvious. Like the guy on the trip to France, who, upon seeing me crouched in pain over a pile of rocks with blood pouring out of my foot, felt that he had to ask “Heyyy…did you cut your foot?”
My reply has, for better or for worse, become the refrain of choice for a certain group of 28 other MU students when dealing with this person: “NO SHIT, GARY!” I’m normally a calm and non-profane person, but…
(Also the people that ask what I’m majoring in, get my reply of “secondary education and French,” then ask “So you’ll be teaching high school French, then?” No. I’m doing it to be a more efficient corn producer in Iceland.) My use of sarcasm signals the beginning of the evil.
returns with DRY fixes shirt and hair WOOHOO!!! Thanks, babe, I needed that!
You guys rock.
Dewaholic- I don’t drive, but when I do catch rides with my friends, MY GOD! The evil things they say! I’m missing out, aren’t I?
PMS and a lack of chocolate… these are wrong, so wrong…
Chris P One Kenobe- I’ve been known to do that.
Dumbguy- Yeah, bitch, in’t it? Especially the fur that grows on your tongue.
Baloo- I live in a townhouse, so I know what you mean. Fortunately, it’s a tough neighborhood, so if anyone did this where I live, he’d get his ass kicked and his car trashed. Dumbasses.
There’s one other thing that brings out my inner bitch:
There are people who will walk down a crowded sidewalk or in a busy mall, and then for some stupid reason, they’ll STOP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WALKWAY. They are completely oblivious to the fact that they’ve caused the people behind them to trip/fall/crash into each other. Times like these I wish I had a cattle prod.
But other than that, I’m completely sweet and calm…heh heh…
I always am at my most vicious when I’m in a great mood.
I’m always in a good mood, and generally pretty relaxed, if fairly evil. But when I’m feeling really, really good, I get ruthless and extremely vicious. Not malicious, though. Just good-natured mercilessness. That’s when I like to get into debates. Rrrrr. You name it, baseball, theology, skepticism; when I’m in one of my euphoric moods, I can tear any argument to absolute shreds, and manage to be charming, infuriating, entertaining, and look really good at the same time.
Damn, I like those moods.
“what hotter hours,
Unregister’d in vulgar fame, you have
Luxuriously pick’d out”
–Antony and Cleopatra, Act 3, Scene xiii
Originally posted by tradesilicon
then oldscratch said
oldscratch, we can definately put aside our differences. I just have to slam down a few in advance…
I get a huge thrill out of “getting even” with somebody for doing something so thoughtless, that I couldn’t live with myself if I let it go. Fer instance:
Buncha little snot-nosed kids are walking down the mall, six abreast. Too wide to pass 'em, and they’re all just dawdling along, while I burn off the minutes in my lunch hour, watching them being stupid teenies.
So, I walk on the heels of the one with the baggiest britches, or the one with the “coolest” 'tude. Blow out one of his/her big, ugly, black shoes, and watch 'em lose all the sass as they stumble, then try to get that mess back on their foot.
I give myself a score determined largely on the reaction: it’s worth twenty for a hateful look; ten bonus points for each of their friends that laugh at them, or give me the look; a cool hundred if they have the stones to say something to me, thus giving me an opportunity to turn around and lay in a broadside.
I LOVE being evil like that.
Also, I’ll throw a big ole shoulder into the solar plexus of the dumb-ass that won’t wait for me to get off the elevator or the bus, and mutter an indecently insincere “Sorry” on the way past.
Now, THAT’S a great evil feeling.
It seems that this thread had gotten a little off topic, from what makes you evil to what pisses you off. I am here to rectify that.
Normally, I am a very nice, courteous person. Really, I am. But in one certain situation, I undergo this Jekyll/Hyde transformation, and become incredibly evil.
I am speaking of when I am in possesion of a parking space, just ready to go, and there is someone waiting to take it. I suddenly get on this little power-trip, knowing I have something they want, and I can make them wait for as long as I want before I give it to them.
I will fix my hair, fiddle with the mirror, arrange my books on the seat, put on my seat belt really slooowly, all the while getting this really wicked thrill out of it.
I know this is terrible. I know watching this probably brings out the evil in some of you. And if you want to flame me, I understand. I totally deserve it. Bluesman himself has expressed his ahem disapproval of such behavior.
But…it’s just such, well, evil fun.
“I’m bad Ash, and you’re good Ash. You’re goodie lil two shoes! goodie lil two shoes,goodie lil two shoes, hahahahaha!”
Use task or impact as a verb, and your request goes to the bottom of the pile.