They say that Hitler and Al Capone would claim that they were decent people. That is complete bullshit. Most people that are truly evil know it and that is why they do it.
The thing is, everyone is evil - you just have to quibble about the details. Otherwise, you would be new Messiah and that doesn’t happen very often.
The first time I was aware that I could be evil is when my younger brother learned to walk for the first time. I pushed him down every chance that I got because I didn’t like him and still don’t. I would like to say that I protected him in general but that only happened once when someone that I hated even more threatened him. We beat the shit out of the threat so problem solved.
Why do most people think they are sin free (and I don’t even mean that in the Christian sense)? The vast majority of people are deeply flawed and abusive at some level with deep skeletons in their closet. Why do most people pretend otherwise?
Most people are putting on pretensions at some level. There are very few Jesus characters walking around in public.
At least around the time I started building* nuclear, biological, and chemical weapons out of spite. And then realized after awhile that I liked it, and found the subject technically and historically fascinating.
*Computer simulated ones.
Plus 3D printed scale model ones, later.
I think everyone should have some negative views about themselves to help yourself improve. I also think that virtually everyone has some negative traits. I also know my good traits and there are many of those as well.
For example, Steve Jobs was a world class asshole that died fairly young. He was a very influential asshole but I can’t say if it had to be that way if he wasn’t so arrogant about his own personality.
Are you claiming that you have never had any negative traits?
Actually I would argue the other way and say that because of the cognitive dissonance involved a lot of really evil people have believed that they are a good person and can rationalize in their mind that they are good even when society disagrees. I have spent a lot of time on introspection on the subject and I come up short about why I am the way I am. I have done a lot of not nice things to people but I have also done really nice things for people too, I feel a lot of times that there is no rhyme or reason to why I do things, or it just depends if I’m in a good or bad mood. People are still just animals and a lot of facets of society at the micro and macro level just comes down to competition and dominance. The meek do not inherit the Earth.
Age 35, realized I could (and had) deeply hurt someone emotionally without meaning to, through naive miscommunication driven mainly by a selfishness I was surprised to discover had been a part of me all along.
Not “evil” by most people’s standards, but the consequences were indistinguishable from what an evil person would cause, so I think it comes close to what the OP asked for.
Is “evil” in your mind some sort of ‘one drop’ thing, where the tiniest hint or aspect of it makes you a full member of and forever within that category?
Why does this principle not apply the other way? Why do you not ask when you first learned that you are a good person, based on ever having taken any action that had good aspects?
No, it is not binary. It is more like a recipe. There are a few dashes of good followed by a smidgen of evil. The only difference is in the proportions.
Everyone always talks about the positives. Those are for another thread. I am just asking about the smidgen of evil that you have. In other words, how are you an asshole, bitch or dickhead? You don’t have to be a serial killer, rapist or even shoplifter to have some less desirable tendencies. I have never met a perfect person. Self-awareness takes a lot of introspection and maturity.
I have never claimed to be 100% good, but it depends on how you measure it. Some say pride is a sin, but I disagree. Some say self-interest is a negative, but you have to look after and treat yourself sometimes. Nobody can realistically be entirely selfless 100% of the time, it’s impossible to live like that and stll be human.
One thing I know for certain is I am not evil. I try to be a decent and considerate human being, helpful and generous (with time, support, and advice, if not money). Surely that counters the few negatives in my behaviour.
Evil is so damn subjective that I have never been able to determine my moral state. Some of the people I respect and even admire get called evil by others. And some of my good friends have shown admiration for persons I consider the scum of the earth.
So how am I to figure out what “evil” means? A yam, what a yam.
OP, do you think Paul Ryan thinks he’s an evil person? His most recent significant event was pushing a bill that polled at 17% and whose main thrust boils down to “stip 24 million people, mostly poor, of healthcare coverage in order to pay for a tax cut on the super-rich” through congress. I’d call that evil. I’m sure quite a few other people would as well. I also think he sleeps just fine - nobody forced him to push that law. Nobody forced any Republican in congress to sign on to that fucking abortion of a bill. They did it because, by some bizarre leap of reason, they thought it was a good thing to do.
If Hitler knew that the concentration camps and genocide was wrong, you know what he could have done? He could have stopped. But every indication looking at the Nazis indicates that they saw the holocaust issue less as “Let’s murder millions of innocent people” and more as “Let’s deal with this infestation of inhuman monsters who have been destroying the true human race for a long time.”
People rationalize, and are very good at it. If you know something is wrong, you’re a lot less likely to actually do it.