What Canadians know and Americans just don't get

In My Humble Opinion
1

Voting is done by making a little “X” BESIDE the name of the candidate you want. No one has to get pregnant. No one has to invade Chad.

I drove to Boston a couple weeks ago. While getting gas near Kennebunkport, I checked the pressure in my tires using a little gage I bought at Canadian Tire. The attendant told me he had never seen anyone check their tire pressure before. But here, we do it once a month or so.

That aerosol cheese is gross. So are Circus Peanuts.

That there is NO building in Toronto named the “CNN Tower”

That there has never been a Canadian Prime Minister with the name “Jean Poutine”

That it is not necessarily a better deal to buy twelve pounds of salted Jalapeno pork rinds for eighteen dollars than no salted pork rinds at no cost

That Alex Trebek is a bit of a thickie if you see him on games shows other than Jeopardy

That Family Feud is funded by people promoting their views on eugenics.

That Cleveland still sucks, and is pretty flat despite the fact all its neighbourhoods are called ‘Something Heights’.

That guns and people both kill people if used properly.

That the guy on Scooby Doo who dresses up like a zombie to scare people away so he could clear the gold out of the abandoned mine could have just done so quietly and would have gotten away with it if he hadn’t dressed up like a zombie in the first place

That “Zed” is both a character in Pulp Fiction and the alphabet.

That it is possible to enjoy an entertainer and not be particularly interested in their views on world geopolitics.

That vinegar tastes good on French fries.

That the soft, fluffy things go on the end of your feet before the hard, crunchy things.

2

It is easier to divide by ten than by twelve, three, or 5,280.

“Writer” and “rider” should not have the same vowels in them.

Yes, Canada is cold. So is Minnesota. You can stop now.

3

Who the hell cares what Canadians know? As if more then a handful of people in the lower 48 gives you guys a second thought. You’ll never be forgiven for Loverboy.

Marc

4

What’s the matter–you use up all of your "u"s misspelling “color,” “humor” and “honor”?

Now I have to kill you. P.S. – the two biggest suburbs of Cleveland are Lakewood and Parma. Cleveland Heights, Mayfield Heights and Shaker Heights are where we cordon off all the snobby rich. Well, aside from Avon Lake and Bay Village.

You obviously haven’t been to a food court in an American mall lately. We learned this one a long time ago.

Canada, in its defense, did give us one thing that we could never have accomplished on our own: DeGrassi Junior High. On the other hand, you can have Alanis Morrissette back whenever you’re ready.

5

Now that’s some funny shit.

Yup. So are pork rinds, of any flavor.

Assuming that ‘thickie’ means something simular to ‘stiff’ or ‘pompous’, then he seems that way on Jeopardy, too. I’ll bet if he didn’t have the questions to the answers written down in front of him, he wouldn’t be so freakin’ smug.

They can do it by accident, too. :frowning:

6

I take that back–there is at least one other thing (honestly) than Canada has produced that America could never produce: Atom Egoyan. He could never have come from Hollywood. And he’s built up a stable of actors who rival the Scorcese stable of regulars for talent and perfection: Bruce Greenwood, Sarah Polley, Don McKellar (who, if Last Night is an indication, is a good director as well), Arsinee Khanjian, Tom McCamus, etc. If you haven’t seen his movies, do yourself the favor of renting one ASAP.

7

That hockey is the most fun sport!

That cafe au lait should be served in a bowl (not sure if all Canadians understand this, but the Quebecois do)

I’m curious as to what “hard, crunchy things” you put on the ends of your feet, though…& it’s hard to forgive our neighbors to the north for inflicting Don Cherry on the world…

8

Maybe this is the best procedure you can find in your average third world nation, but here in New York we’ve used mechanical voting machines for many years now. (News stories after the last election liked to point out the number of repairmen that had to be kept on call in case of a problem, but for some reason most of them neglected to mention that most of them sat around with nothing at all to do.)
Now if someone would just start a thread about what New Yorkers know that the rest of the world just don’t get…

As for the rest of the things listed thus far, this American already knew all that. Except the bit about vinegar on french fries, which is just wrong.

And please, please, do not judge us by the sorts of morons you are likely to run into in Kennebunkport.

9

“Gage” is often used in technical use in place of “gauge”, so it’s a valid variation.

Back to the OP:
More things that Canadians know that Americans don’t:
[ul]
[li]If you want a dollar coin to be successful, get rid of the paper dollars.[/li][li]Tourists get a better opinion of your country if you freely do commerce with their currency, instead of acting snooty and not taking it even though you’re store is only 1/10 mile from the border. (Montanans take note.)[/li][li]Be amicable enough that the country that borders you (with the world’s longest border) doesn’t feel the need to guard the whole thing. Nor did a huge ditch to block illegal immigrants.[/li][li]Send the US enough talented entertainers (Michael J. Fox, Dave Foley, John Candy, etc.) and they won’t notice the hacks (William Shatner, Alanis Morissette).[/li][li]Make your coins the same size, and Americans will inadvertantly take them at their US face value.[/li][/ul]

10

Um, I think you screwed up here. This would appear to be something that Canadians know that Mexicans don’t.

11

Let’s not forget: How to brew and drink a strong, good tasting beer!

12

Last guy I heard of from Kennebunkport didn’t know what a supermarket scanner was, that doesn’t mean all Americans are that stupid. It’s not like the people who run the country are like this.