Now that’s easy. THEM can by any group of people. THEM could even be your girlfriend, who has the convienient advantage of being interested in and informed about you.
Now, there is no need for signing up. This is the deal, you just tell your girlfriend she is cool, and she will tell you the same. As long as you believe she is cool, you will be cool. Otherwise, how could you have gotten such a cool girlfriend?
Piece of cake.
wait…
Maastrichts hums nervously as an unpleasant thought is beginning to form…
But if you are not cool, then your gilrfriend is not cool either! And you cannot tell her she’s cool, because how would your uncool opinion amount to anything?
Damnit.
There is no way out. You will have to start buying stuff from advertisements flaunting official cool people.
Yes. Didn’t you get the memo? Fun stops when you’re 18. (Or, 22, if you go to college.) But, it can’t be extended by going to grad school.
Adult life is, as you said, work, then sleep, then more work. Four walls, in some nameless shade of grey or beige, probably fuzzy if you work in an office. Well, half walls, anyway. Only managers get full walls. No sun, no fun, no money. Get used to it. Then, after twenty years, or so, of endless drudgery, one of the drones from Human Resources (Yes, you ARE a resource. Not a name; not even a number. Just a resource; like a lump of coal.) will come to take you to the secret place where they remove your soul, tattoo the words “The beatings will continue until morale improves” on your heart, and you will become…a MANAGER! Muahahahahaa!
Well, that’s a relief! Organisation is the GF’s domain. Sometimes she’s positively demonic about it. Wait! Aren’t demons supposed to be evil, and therefore negative? Can you have a positive demon? How would that work? “I am the Greater Demon Apostrophe, and I am going to torture you with affirmative statements about yourself!” Oh, yeah, okay. I can see how that would work. Oh, my god! I just realized…all those motivational speakers are DEMONS!
Where’s my mouse? shuffles papers on desk Okay, which one of you wise guys took my mouse? How am I supposed to submit this, without a mouse? shuffle, shuffle Oh! There it is. Never mind.
Oh, sure. I come here looking for help, find someone who seems to know the answer, and it turns out all he’s doing is taunting me! Very nice. What’s next? Pulling the wings off flies?
So, if I buy the cool stuff from all those cool popup ads, will I have A Life? Maybe even A Cool Life? That seems to be what they’re implying, but I’ve been burned by slick advertising, before. Those X-Ray Specs didn’t work, at all! And, they were cardboard, and they had weird swirly things printed on the lenses. And, they wouldn’t even stay on my nose. Bad people! Bad!
So the fact that I’m 20 and still technically in high school (upgrading to get my last science and figure what the hell I can do with my life that I can live with, for at least the next decade) means that I can extend this even more?! Especially since my one really true dream is to be a Paleontologist? Meaning I do an undergrad, then graduate studies… hmmm… this means I could extend this into my 30’s… wait you said it can’t be extended by going to grad school. Damnit.
Hmmm…I think you may have found a loophole, there. The way I read it, you’re allowed to have fun until you graduate college or turn 22. So, if you’re NOT having fun, I suggest you contact an attorney. I happen to have Johnny Cochrane’s number here, if you’d …
Oh, hi guys. How’s things in HR?..Well, no…I was just…Hey!..Let go of me!..ddsfshgfdgjhk
I think the criteria necessary for having ** ‘A Life’ **are radically personal. However, I do suspect that a deeply developed sense of humor, coupled with personal integrity and the ability to laugh mercilessly at our complicated little selves are keys to success in the ** Life ** department.
I agree that happiness is high on the list. But oh how to grasp that illusive little blue bird without absentmindedly squishing the life out of her?
I think ** yosemitebabe ** is very close. Did you hear the unbridled excitement and passion in her virtual voice? The thrill of fascination and pleasure she is experiencing with her new ** ‘awesome Epson Perfection 3200’ **. That’s it! The sound of someone who has ‘A Life’! The sound of someone overjoyed by a new toy. And notice how infectious her excitement is. I want to race out and buy one too!
** Davebear ** I think the challenge is for us all to find our own Epson Perfection!
For me the feeling that I am continuing to learn new things and be challenged by my work and relationships are very important. Appreciation of the little things is a big plus too. Noticing a spider spin a web, watching children play, eating great food, making wild passionate love till I ache with the intensity of it, reading an interesting book, talking to a friend on the phone, working on a difficult project and feeling as if I have accomplished something worthwhile, watching the world with interest as it unfolds in all it’s devastating and beautiful glory.
** ‘A Life’ ** is made of all the little things that make you happy. For someone it might be exotic airplanes, porn, full moons and stupid jokes. For someone else it might be photographs of dilapidated barns, a tender caress, teriyaki salmon, and an airplane ticket to the South of India. These are the unique little quirks that make up our lives and bring us pleasure. So maybe it’s worth thinking about what things bring you joy. I find that writing lists sometimes helps.
The thing is though, while we are all turned on by unique and quirky things, we are still part of the greater experience of life that we all share. We are all experiencing life on this planet at this time in history. We are sharing the experience of ** Life ** even if we feel far away from each other at times. So maybe part of having ‘A Life’ is realizing and taking responsibility for the fact that we are a part of a greater picture and have a role to play in the world at large. I guess it’s the paradox of experiencing our individual importance and our global insignificance simultaneously.
** Davebear ** I think your honesty, your inquiring mind and your sense of humor indicate that whatever shape your life is in right now, you are definitely headed in the right direction!
Well, let’s see . . . my friend Mary’s definition of “Living” (which in turn implies that the sum of the following activities constitutes “A Life”) involves screwing a married guy (and his wife), dancing late into the night with a collection of wild and eclectic women, stirring up romantic intrigue, and discussing literature over cocktails.
I say if it’s that much work, I don’t want a life.
But, I also say that having A Life is probably a lot like having money, power, intellect, style, beauty and/or popularity: if you have to keep telling people you have it, you probably don’t.
Scantilly is very close. I would put it this way: to “have a life” you need to be actively working towards one or more goals.
Definitions:
“A Goal” is anything you
a) deeply and sincerely hunger to do, to obtain, or to become
and
b) which you honestly believe is humanly possible for you to do/obtain/become.
“Actively working towards” means that you regularly (I’d say at least once a week) engage in some activity moves you at least a hair closer to attaining the goal.
Hi, Scantilly! Welcome to the SDMB. Great username! Such wealth of puns in one word. [sing]Scantilly lace, and a purty face…** So…what are you wearing?
Radicals! I knew it! It’s them damn subversives, again! And, they’re laughing at us?!? Well, by gum, we’ll just see about that!
But, George, I didn’t mean to hurt her. I just wanted to hold her, and pet her, and love her. You know I would never hurt anything. It’s just these paws. It’s hard to hold a bird when you don’t have thumbs.
I found mine. Amazon has them on sale. And, why do I think Yosemitebabe might know just a little bit more about bridles than the average person. Not saying there’s anything wrong with it, mind you.
ahem Umm…is it hot in here? Anyone else feeling a little overheated?
Well, I can’t speak for everyone, but some of us are. Possibly even in love. Sorry. Did I say that out loud? Sorry. Didn’t mean to interrupt. Carry on. But, IS it hot, in here? Sorry. Go ahead. I’m listening. Whew!
See, now…that could be a problem. 'Cause…I only have a single dox. I don’t usually like to admit it, but…well…you seem so understanding.
I feel like I’ve just been petted and, against all odds, I liked it. If I rolled over, would you scratch my tummy?
Excellent! Another checklist! And, I didn’t think you guys were paying attention.
Let’s see…screwing a married guy Nope. That’s right out.
and his wife Welllll…I wouldn’t want to have a totally closed mind. What does she look like?
dancing late into the night with a collection of wild and eclectic women I could do that. That might even be fun. They’d dance with me, right. We’re not talking one of those Impenetrable-Wall-O-Women deals, are we?
stirring up romantic intrigue No problem. Especially if I decide to screw that guy’s wife.
discussing literature over cocktails That works. As long as it’s not that mushy, female, Oprah kind of literature. Like that “Streetlamps of Madison County” trash, or whatever it was.
Ooh! Ooh! Can I have yours? I’ll trade you my brownie for it!
I have a goal. I’m trying to determine if I have A Life. Oh, wait…there’s all that deep sincerity stuff. Okay, I guess I don’t have one of those. Where’s that shopping list? Okay…scanner, cool certificate, ice cream, sincere goal. Anyone know where to buy one of those?
I’m not sure I’ve ever had that kind of goal. Well, except one time for a month, or two. I think I would like to have a goal. Does that count? No, I suppose not.
I know people have goals, like that. At least, some people claim to. And, I have no reason to doubt them. I wouldn’t want to be as driven as some people seem to be. But, it would be nice to lose this “Okay. Here I am. Now, what?” feeling.
I used to want my own cave (Davebear, remember?). But, I’ve done that a couple of times, and it isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I’d still like to own, again, if only for the tax benefits, but that isn’t a realistic goal. Even though I’m currently making more than twice the salary I was making when I bought my last house, it isn’t enough. Housing prices in the Boston area have shot through the roof (sorry), in the last ten years. While my salary has doubled, prices have tripled. I could move somewhere else, I guess, but then my salary would drop because the cost of living is less.
I’ve thought about getting a master’s license/certificate and a sailboat, and going into the day sailing or cruise business, down in Key West. But, there’s already more people doing that than the market can really support.
I’ve thought about getting a pilot’s license, and becoming a back-country fishing guide. Again, too many in the market, already.
And, much as I think I would like doing those things, I don’t have a burning desire to do any of them. And, they’re the things at the top of my list.
As for the things being humanly possible, well…still a bear, here. But, at least I’m used to accomplishing the bearly possible. You try programming without using your stupid opposable thumbs, monkey boy.
And Love. I forgot about LOVE. The very most absolutely important thing of all about having A LIFE is being in love. With somebody. With something. With an idea. With a small animal. With the possibility of wish coming true. With the way your lover takes a shower. YES. How could I have possibly forgotten?
By the way Davebear I lived with a Bear for two years so I know quite a lot about them.
Well, Everytime I have heard the phrase “Get a life” it comes from people who seem to think of nothing else than drinking til they puke, copulating pointlessly, and then talking about drinking and copulating, periodically interspersed with patter about the latest baketball match.
I have therefore decided not to have a life. I must say, death is surprisingly fulfilling.
You’ve got a point, there. I’d have to say my experience is pretty similar. Although, the folks spouting “I’ve got A Life, y’know”, don’t seem to fall into the same class.
Well, really. What possible difference could it make to you? You’re Eternal.
Very nice. What’s next? Pulling the wings off flies?
Great username! Such wealth of puns in one word. [sing]Scantilly lace, and a purty face…** So…what are you wearing?