I have dog skull.
It’s real.
I’ve had it for two years now. It’s displayed prominently. It even has springs so the jaw bone works correctly.
Not one person has ever asked about it.
I can’t believe my conversation piece is the strangest to ever go unnoticed…so…
On my bookshelf, there is prominently displayed a can of Vienna Sausage*. I’m DYING for someone to ask me about it, but no one has.
But since you bring it up, here’s the story:
My wife and I are movie nuts, and I’m especially a fan of good documentaries. One of my favorites is Errol Morris’s Vernon, Florida, a deeply weird movie about a tiny town in the Florida Panhandle. So last summer, when we took a vacation to Cape San Blas, we HAD to stop through Vernon and try to get some kind of souvenir.
It turns out Vernon, Florida is small. Really, really small. There’s nothing at all for sale anywhere that says, “Vernon, Florida” on it. No crappy t-shirts, nothing.
Well, I was sure as hell not leaving empty-handed after going out of my way and driving along backroads through one of those pounding Florida summer storms. So we stopped and went into a little convenience store, and that’s where I bought the Vienna Sausage.
Sooner or later a fan of obscure movies will be at our house, and he/she will ask why I have a can of Vienna Sausage on my bookshelf. And then I will tell the story, and I will feel really cool.
Until then, I wait.
A 26" oosik.
Aplanet.
It doesn’t have a very intersting back story - other than how I found a gallery that actually carries Josh Simpson artwork. But, still - they’re so damn cool. How can anyone not ask about it?
As for how I found it, I had just finished watching a PBS documentary on Josh Simpson (who by the way, lives about 20 minutes from me). I looked up art galleries in the area where he lives and works and thought I had found a number for one. So, I called it - at 12:30 on a Sunday morning. I was expecting to get a recording with business hours. Instead, someone answered the phone. It was Josh Simpson himself! I had somehow managed to find his phone number. He was awake - luckily, and working. He was extremely nice and gave me the phone number, address, and hours for the gallery which sells his stuff. I was so damn embarrassed. I would have bought a planet even if my mind hadn’t already been made up, just to make up for calling him at home in the wee hours of the morning. I have talked to a few famous people in my life and I’ve never gotten flustered. This guy got me flustered because it was so cool to talk to someone with so much actual talent.
Well I don’t have it any more, but my ex-wife has a framed Saturday Evening Post cover from 1928, with the address label still on it and legible. The subscriber was her great-grandfather.
A twelve foot tall statue of a hand. It’s a fist, with the index finger pointing straight up. It’s styrofoam, painted bright blue with yellow fingernails, and it’s sitting in my backyard, yet somehow, no one ever asks. It was originally part of the set for Titus Andronicus at a nearby theatre, but it was painted gray with bloodstains in that incarnation of its life.
Not exactly a “conversation piece”:
I’m an artist, and both of my parents were artists. My house has the works of all three of us on literally every wall. The place looks like a gallery. Yet there are people who come over and never notice the art. If someone points a piece out to them, they’ll say something like “Oh, I didn’t even notice that.”
**Congodwarf, **I have a small paperweight collection and love great glass art. I dream of owning something as wonderful as one of Josh Simpson’s planets but can’t afford it as yet. I would have definitely asked you about yours.
OMG, brian_ax, is that a real dog skull? That is the coolest thing ever. I’m heavily into charnel myself. What kind of breed was it, do you know? Do you have any other dead things?
Howzat? 
Now you can die a happy man. Can I have your skull when you’re done with it?
A severed head…
and three severed hands, two female, one male… one of the females still has a wedding ring on.
I met some guys who were making movie props.
The head sits on one of my bookshelves. Everyone always sees it. But for some reason no one ever comments untill I do, the they say “I was dying to ask but… well, you know…”
…Actually I don’t know… Are they worried I’m going to do the same to them?
I have an original Andy Warhol…well, kind of.
A friend of mine used to work for Liza Minelli and once Andy Warhol sent her a promo piece from Interview Magazine…but for Liza, he drew an abstract heart around the little blub and hand-wrote, “To Liza - thought you would like to see this. Andy.”
Liza glanced at it and tossed it in the garbage. My friend said, “can I give that to a friend of mine? He is an Andy fan.” Liza said, “sure.”
It is in a frame on my bookshelf. I don’t think a single person has ever looked at it closely enough to see what it is.
No one ever asks me where Hoffa’s buried.
That mural in my dining room, of Saturn eating his son.
I have a gaudily-painted statue of the Virgin Mary standing on the landing of my staircase. In a previous house, it was in the living room in an alcove. A good friend brought it back from Mexico for me, as a joke.
I keep it because I sort of like it. It’s Mexican Folk Art!
Being completely unreligious people, I keep wondering if people will ask about it. I suspect that either they are too polite, or, in the case of my Catholic family, they think that we have it as a religious symbol.
Come to think of it, I hope people are just too polite. Even if we were religious, I’d hope that they would think I have better taste than a bright blue & red Virgin Mary statue.
cool simpson story. i have a few of his planets. they are great. and he is a very nice guy.
Can you afford $60 per month? If you can, The Josh Simpson gallery I linked to has a program called Planetoid Collector. For $60 per month, you get 12 of his plantets. 4 large Inhabited Planets, 4 small Inhabited Planets and 4 possibly Inhabited Planets. At the end of the year, you get either one of his books, the PBS show I mentioned or a poster.
I can’t wait until I can afford to sign up. I also want to start collecting his Mexico Glass, Portals and Tektites.
Also, look at the infinity project. If you get selected to deposit a planet, you get one to keep too.
Some of the smaller (paperweight too) possibly inhabited planets are pretty inexpensive. I think my paperweight was around $50. But, I got it at the gallery in Shelburne Falls MA so I didn’t have to pay shipping.
I have this replica sabertooth skull.
