What could be done on an Airplane! scenario?

It’s not really that simple. The “autopilot” is a name given to a collection of different systems, and there isn’t a button marked “land while I kick back and sip a beer”.

If there wasn’t a person with flying experience available, I’d probably look for an engineer, computer tech, or someone else used to analysing complex systems quickly, with the intention of giving them an, er, crash course in using the automation. Then I’d prime the emergency services and the coroner.

Well, I assume the cockpit door could be broken down by a flight attendant with an axe, just not quickly. If a would-be hijacker tried it, I doubt he’d get far into the attempt before the passengers rushed him since they’d know they had nothing to lose.

It came down, just not in one piece. What still didn’t come down will eventually one day find its way to our planet once again.

I just don’t wanna be here when Voyager comes back.

Flying a plane is no different from riding a bicycle; it’s just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.

Surely you can’t be serious!

I don’t know but I call dibbs on being “Otto Pilot”

Capt

On the type I fly there is no way to unlock the door from the outside. If one of us needs to go back for a toilet break we have a flight attendant in the flight deck so you don’t run the risk of having one pilot in a locked cockpit having a heart attack. Other types may have some form of external entry, I doubt anyone would tell you about it though.

Where would they get an axe from?

The reality is that the chances of both pilots suddenly dying is so remote it’s not worth preparing for.

Didn’t we have this conversation just a few weeks ago? IIRC the prevailing consensus, particularly from the commercial pilots here, was that a novice pilot – and that includes small plane pilots – without experience with an industrial-size commercial jet, would not, no how no way, be able to handle a Big Rig.

There was much mention of that mythbusters segment (didn’t they clobber in a few runs before they landed one more-or-less alive?), and a general belief that no piddly Cessna jockey could bring them home alive.

Well, whatever you decide, good luck. We’re all counting on you…

Don’t worry, I speak jive.

tl;dr

1 person has though a stew could be trusted to figure out the radio
Another thinks they couldn’t handle that.

All expect a passenger to pilot a a plane weighing 100’s of tons. Yeah, my Piper time is the same thing.

Who on the plane has at least SEEN the flight deck?

Right - the stews.

Now you know why (it is said) the pilot and co-pilot do NOT consume the same menu selection - the pilot gets vodka, the co-pilot gets gin…

I’d take a shot - not because I’d have a 1 in a million chance of landing the thing, but because, If I’m going to die, I want to be the one at the controls - just a “don’t want to die by someone else’s incompetence” type thing…

Um, remember that Korean flight that couldn’t pull up enough to clear a seawall?

You need to fly those things 10 minutes ahead of time - they don’t turn on dimes.

Julie Hagerty can manipulate my manual inflation valve any day.

Take a cue from the Foo Fighters? (Strangely enough, I was JUST listening to that song)

Interesting to think how this would play out.

Presumably at some point the cabin staff would realise the flight deck was unresponsive. I’m not sure at what point that would be. Perhaps when offering drinks or food. Or perhaps not until the flight was X minutes over its normal flying time with nothing from the flight deck about getting ready for landing etc. At some point they would knock on the door, call on intercom etc and get no response.

At some point after that you would have to think they would get so worried they would contact ground (assuming there were airphones available). At some point they would presumably try to break the door down either on ground instructions or otherwise.

I don’t know how strong the doors are. Very desperate people are hard to stop, given time and a cabin full of things to improvise with.

To me it might come down to whether the plane had enough fuel to cover the time involved in realising the pilots were unresponsive, getting into action, breaking down the door etc, and then to cover turning around and getting to an airport when the plane may well have overshot by a large margin. I know planes carry way more fuel than they need.

By the way, have you ever seen a grown man, naked?

No, but I do enjoy gladiator movies.

Mythbusters had an episode where Adam & Jamie both attempted to land a plane in a simulator without any assistance. Both crashed & burned on the first attempt, but both were able to successfully land on the second try with audio guidance (and by “successful” meaning you could feasably walk away uninjured, even if the plane itself may have been completely trashed.)

So the trick is to find someone who has crash-landed in a simulator at least once.

I just saw something on TV about how pilots fly a modern plane for a few minutes, if even that, the takeoff and landing are often done entirely automatically. Maybe not in bad weather, though.

So they’ll have to come through to Chicago?

yep. it’s all automatic - just make sure the autopilot is engaged, its heading agrees with the inertial guidance system, it is set for en route AND landing…

How long would it take you to figure out which buttons, knobs, displays, etc. are involved, let alone HOW they need to be set.

Your best bet is to head for large body of water, keep nose level (get a glass of water to tell you level) and reduce thrust (the black-handled levers in the center are throttles (mostly)).
Once in view of water, reduce thrust slowly and continuously - it will slow airspeed, which will bring you down. line up parallel with the beach and don’t worry about gear or flaps (you’d screw them up if you did find them). A level belly landing at 100 mph is your best shot - if you are being tracked, rescue will figure out your plan and have boats converging on your probable splash point.

If you don’t have water, look for sand. Neither? Glad I didn’t get on that plane - you’re screwed.