Sink it all into FTL research.
Hell, I think you would find plenty of smokin hotties who would happily sleep with you for far less than 10K.
You could probably have half a dozen little kept college girls for $20K a year each. Get tired of one, no problem, someone has already talked and you probably have several in the wings hoping for a shot.
One fun thing to think about, you could go far less savory routes..an empire of porn production, high end strip clubs, and bars.
Start heavily supporting the campaigns of marijuana and prostitution friendly politicians. Make sure you make good buddies with the mayor, make sure he is never lacking campaign funding, or making a few of his problems go away.
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Pump a few hundred million dollars into all of the small market major league baseball teams, just to level the playing field a bit. Won’t the Yankees be disappointed when it turns out that the Indians can easily compete with them for the next hot free agent?
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Fund a national ombudsman program to aid people in navigating the healthcare system.
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Think about building that high speed rail system in California, and then realize that I actually can’t afford it.
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Drainage!
I didn’t claim to be the originator of the idea.
The key is a cost effective strain that produces high quality fuel and that I own the patent for.
Well, not to threadshit your threadshit, but Wall Street makes money magically show up on about an annual basis (it’s called leveraging). When you deposit a dollar into your local bank, whala… the bank has $10 to loan. That’s just local/retail. Now imagine Wall Street who have multiple billions leveraged as high as 35:1.
And that’s just the documented stuff. I once had the stocks in an e*trade account doubled for no apparent reason. Since that was a 100% profit, I sold all of my shares, was paid for them, and with drew the money. I have never heard even a peep from that account where they were trying to get their money back. I can’t even begin to imagine how many ‘accidental’ stock shares there could be out there floating around in databases that have or will be sold for dollars.
$2 million if it is Rachael! I’d like to have her infected with never-healing boils over her entire body!
With $1 trillion, you could buy one or more major TV networks (CBS’ market cap is currently about $23B), as many major U.S. newspapers as you like (NYT’s market cap is currently about $1.4B; the Washington Post Co.'s is $2.6B, but most of that is in everything from its ‘education’ companies to local broadcast and cable outlets - the newspaper by itself is worth way less; everything else is downhill from there), and start creating an actual ‘liberal media’ in the U.S.
You can play political hardball on a level that the Koch Brothers can’t pretend to match. Without getting into the manifold possibilities of this, you do so.
Hell, as a one-shot deal, you might even do your own stimulus program, your own Civilian Conservation Corps to hire up to 5 million unemployed people for $25K a year for a couple of years. That would cost up to $250B, but you’ve got it, and you’d still have most of your billions left over. Why not?
A million gives you some nice new stuff. A billion allows you to establish a foundation like Bill Gates and if you’re smart and lucky sponsor some sort of breakthrough. The Ford Foundation thinks it gave us the green revolution.
A trillion dollars makes you a superpower. NASA’s budget is $25 billion per year. A trillion dollars gives you a budget of $50 billion per year indefinitely, making a reasonable long run 5% nominal return assumption.
So yeah. Buy some media companies. Sponsor research on the topics of your choice. Sponsor hacks that will promote your intellectual minions. Work out joint arrangements with foreign and domestic governments to advance space colonization and robotic exploration. Turn money into power and then back into money. Pour funds into basic research: take IBM or Merck private and do the same.
Hm. Now about that warehouse. The total amount of currency in circulation, including $100 bills held mostly abroad, is $1.05 trillion. Add in checking accounts and you get $2.3 trillion. Laundering the money in the warehouse would prove difficult. Assuming that problem away, the market cap of US stocks is about $16 trillion. Buying whole companies might be a good idea anyway, given the mountain of cash you have. Also property.
Oh, and if you merely purchased assets with the cash, it wouldn’t necessarily be that inflationary. An extra $50 billion in aggregate demand could easily be absorbed by a US economy with $15 trillion of annual output and excess capacity to boot.
Adamantium Mastercard-Where “Priceless” just doesn’t exist.
I’d live the rest of my years in space, in my space ship.
I don’t know how, exactly to fix situations like Atawapiskat, but a trillion dollars would help.
I am Canadian, middle class, with a decent education and a career. I don’t forget who lived here first. Maybe its middle class guilt or white man’s burden but it is disgusting to have citizens of my own country living in impoverished hovels in this day and age.
So I would help rebuild the North.
4 prongs: Health Care, Education, Housing and Employment/Industry.
(HEHE)
Health Care:More scholarships/bursaries for Northern Ontario School of Medicine with northern practice commitments. Better clinics staffed with Nurse Practioners. Massive Diabetes education campaigns. Better food, with increased emphasis on traditional diets for first nations people.
Education: More and better schools, a change in school year to allow the kids who go to high school more frequent visits to their home communities. Trade schools available closer to home, or better access.
Housing; Needs to be durable with proper materials designed for the north. People need a warm place to live. Trades people to maintain them. Air lifting in a few pre fabs a year isn’t going to solve this. Technically only the federal government can build houses on first nations reserves, but I am sure some arrangement can be reached.
Employment/Industry. Sustainable industry… I would loan money to groups who wanted to develop the fishery in James Bay and other areas, allow the dairy farmers in the northern claybelt areas like Kapuskasing to be able to distribute milk to the high north, for an example. I would put a huge emphasis on industry that related to fresh food, heating, or other necessities.
I have a lot to do!
I’d bail out Greece. I’m already a huge Grecophile, and wouldn’t mind being listed amongst their national heroes.
Yeah, I guess preventing the collapse of the Eurozone would be a good thing, too.
Similar to Mona Lisa Simpson, I have been doing a lot of rethinking on this over the weekend. A Trillion dollars allows me to do things that are insanely ambitious. I could probably do the ethanol powered car thing for around 100 Billion, which leaves me 900 Billion left.
Some large ambitious projects…
1- Purchase as much contiguous land as possible in the middle plains states. Burn them out, and reseed with native longgrasses. Leave them alone for a few decades and see if we can re-establish the classic American prairie.
As a corollary to the first item up there…
2- Dump a couple hundred mill into genetic “cleansing” of the American Buffalo, removing the Cow genes that have been introduced over the last 150 years. Treat the lungworm issue, and generally do whatever I can to improve the diversity and health, and increase the size, of the American Buffalo. Long term goal… free roaming massive herd, as existed in the pre-Colonial era.
3- Work with Federal and Tribal authorities to build infrastructure and community buildings in the Lakota, Blackfoot and Crow reservations. Those are the native communities I am most familiar with (Blackfoot in particular) and they all really need something. The native community is ripe for a rebirth and revitalization, but the capital and infrastructure is just not there. I could fix that.
4- Work with 3rd party Candidates. I may not agree with the Libertarian party on some things, but I think a cool 500 mil to their candidate may help get them some press and some inertia. Same with the Modern Whigs, the Greens, Reform, and anyone else I can think of. That all being said, being the Koch Bros of the Modern Whigs would be interesting… really mold a party to be my ideal, and then fund them? Fun game!
I would buy a few Broadway theatres and put on professional productions of every obscure musical that I would like to see, starting with ABBACADABRA and Blondel.
Build the Bering Strait Crossing.
I’ll tell you what I’d do, man, two chicks at the same time, man. Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I were a trillionaire I could hook that up, too, 'cause chicks dig dudes with money.
Re reading my earlier post, I hope it doesn’t sound pompous, like “I know what’s is best for First Nations people and the north” I just lived in Northern ON most of my life, and I have seen first hand how southern solutions don’t always work for northern problems.
Of course I would have a lot of input from stakeholders, Aborignal, Status and Non Status, northern residents, forestry and mining companies etc. The rule is though, that the committees can’t talk forever without doing something. Every single committe has to produce action items every meeting.
Mars, bitches.
Craislist ad follows
Trillionaire seeks travelling companions/tag team sex slave team**
Must enjoy world travel, frequent sexual encounters when and how I ask, and prefer to wear very little clothing.
Compensation commensurate with the experience you give me.
Fund the superconducting supercollider. It would probably cost about $20 billion but with a trillion, I wouldn’t worry. Then maybe buy and operate the US public school system. Teach science the right way (it starts with skepticism, anathema to the religious).