For instance, we learned from “MAS*H“ and “Little House on the Priairie“ that both Korea and Minnesota look exactly like Southern California.
What did YOU learn?
I learned that most furniture is orange or brown, and that station wagons don’t need seat belts, and that most families have single parents and more than four kids.
Nearly every problem could be solved in less than 30 minutes (if it’s funny) or 60 minutes (if it’s serious).
Hardly anybody watched TV on TV in the 70s.
There was a serious shortage of one-story houses.
I learned all about prepositions and conjunctions (Schoolhouse Rock), that out on the prairie not an hour goes by where someone doesn’t die, have to shoot a horse, lose a home to a fire, go blind, get laughed at by the town bully, or all of the above and all while crying (Little House), that all female superheroes run in slow motion (Wonder Woman and The Bionic Woman) and that it takes 3 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop.
Turkey’s can’t fly.
Firefighters are hot.
I swear, with God as my winess, I thought they could.
And that Nessman guy is a queer little fellow, isn’t he?
That black people are all either poor, hip and funny (“Good Times”, “Sanford and Son”) or rich, hip and funny (“The Jeffersons”).
That NYC police detectives spend most of their time sitting around the station house dealing with eccentric citizens and complaining about the coffee.
Diff’rent Strokes taught me that when an old man shows you a pornographic cartoon, he probably has ulterior motives that are bad.
That and only creepy wierdos sing “Strangers in the Night.”
That polyester and velour are the Fabrics Of The Future!
Three is a magic number.
Chuckles the Clown is dead.
Don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like it when I’m angry.
That we have the skills to make the world’s first bionic man. Better than he was before. Better. Stronger. Faster.
Always say, “Good Night” to John Boy.
It’s not easy being green.
That you shouldn’t worry that it’s not good enough for anyone else to hear. Just sing. Sing a song.
And, of course…
HEY, YOU GUUUUUUuuuuUUUUuuuYS!
That someone who looks like Mary Tyler Moore can’t get a date on Friday night.
That “honky” is a slur against white people. (Thanks, George Jefferson!)
That the Poles are/were discriminated against. (Never knew this till I saw “All in the Family.”)
That six kids can share a bathroom without a toilet.
If you get hit in the head and lose your memory, you can cure yourself by getting hit in the head again.
No matter where you boldly go in the universe, everybody speaks English, even if no man has gone there before.
That they’ll be back to conquer their peril… same Bat-time, same Bat-channel! [O.K., this was a 60’s show, but I saw it as a little kid in syndication in the mid '70’s.]
That there was nothing subtle whatsoever about Spidey’s webbing. In fact, it had a distinctly nylon-ropey quality.
That you can merge two single parents of teen and pre-teen and pre-pre-teen sons and daughters into one huge combined nuclear family, without risking fissionable sexual tensions between those sons and daughters.
That fathers and sons can not only get their hair permed, they can get the same kind of perm.
That a [live-in?] housekeeper will be ever-cheerful, with nary a hint of class-based resentment over her low-paying, low-status occupation.
That black kids in the ghetto, and white young adults/older teens solving mysteries/crimes, always wear the same outfit from day-to-day (although, definitely, not the same types of outfits as each others’!).
That the Globetrotters will always beat the Generals.
That when grownups speak, it sounds like “wah-wah-wah-wh-wahh, wah-wah…”.
That our planet looks like a lovely blue marble, from the vantage point of outer space.
That everyone was oily, wore ill-fitting clothing, and looked uncomfortably hot back then.
The more hair you have, the better the person you are.
American animation was based on two principles; (1) Trace the hell out of everything, and (2) cram as much southern-culture stuff in as possible. Oh, and pointless dance numbers. The more pointless and repetitive, the better.
The military is bad, m’kay?
San Francisco International Airport is in danger of becoming obsolete and commercially useless if they don’t add a third runway…luckily, they’ve just gotten approval to build it! (Flash forward 30 years…oops.)
That’s from the 60’s, dude.
The 2260’s.
I learned a lot, including why one shouldn’t assume anything.
I learned there’s a world of difference between Duane’s “Hey HEY hey!” and Fat Albert’s “HEY. HEY. HEY.”
I learned what a Yellow light means.
I learned the secret to happiness is 28 TV with Cable.
I learned the Ignatoski is Star Child spell backwards.
I learned that door & walls could be simulated with Yellow tape on the floor.
That great looking girls would be overlooked for overly fake looking blonds.
Beware of the Phone Police.
Hash Brownie can make aging cops feel better than they have in 20 years.
The Twinkie mobile took people to Bellview.
You can filter water by letting drain through the ceiling.
A house can be far bigger on the inside than the outside.
Don’t throw a ball in the house.
Cindy would always be annoying.
The Korea war lasted 11 years.
Having a Teddy bear could be cool.
If you are good enough at what you do, you don’t have to conform to get along in the military.
Don’t where a peanut costume around an Elephant.
Mr. Grant hates Perky.
Ted Baxter was the most valued employee.
Cans of Peaches in Heavy Syrup can cause accidents.
Dingbat could be a term of affection.
Only Nixon could open China.
Jim