<singing>
Haul him up to the topsl’ yardarm
Haul him up to the topsl’ yardarm
Haul him up to the topsl’ yardarm
Earlie in the morning!
Weigh hey up she rises
Weigh hey up she rises
Weigh hey up she rises
Earlie in the morning!
Oh wait,a DEAD BODY?
Nevermind
There was an episode of Alfred Hitchcock Presents a lot like this. The guy killed people and ran them through a mill and put it in chicken feed. That guy had a really creepy English accent of some sort. The ending was really, really surreal, too.
This a case that happened in Québec in 1983. Claire Lortie, a young lawyer got rid of her boyfriend by having him killed, cut him apart with a circular saw, put in a freezer and buried the freezer. Of course they were found out. She got away with 15 months IIRC for “impeding an investigation”.
Glad to see this thread won’t die. I won’t have to find a way to dispose of it. Why didn’t I think of building a cage with her bones? After 10 long years they’d let me out of the home.
I read recently in the paper that they now suspect that poor Russians selling meat on the street are actually selling human flesh. yum yum
well in singapore this woman chopped up her husband and made him into a curry she put it in bags and put them in waste bins all around the city she was not charged to lack of evidence (fortean times something)
Also in Macau this guy used to take the meat off corpses
well his brother did and make them into sichuan style dumplings extra spicy to disguise the origins of the meat , very popular , then this guy wanted to see his daughters corpse before cremation and there was alot of missing meat.
sourced fortean times
This gives me another idea. After removing all the soft tissues with lye, find out when your local crematorium is running, then break in & sneak the bones in with the paying customers. Take the teeth to several different construction sites, highway projects, etc., and bury them where something is about to be built, paved, or cemented.
Sue
What about getting a catapult and hurtling the body through the air. Then set fire to the catapult along with your fall leaves.
The authorities will think that the dead person fell out of an airplane.
My brother’s friend Dennis killed his wife and then faced the dilemma of what to do with her. Before he even killed her, he complained to people that she kept disappearing for days or weeks at a time, and let it be thought that she had a boyfriend somewhere. When he killed her, people thought she’d run off with the boyfriend.
He chopped her up into little bits, and then had a bonfire in his backyard. He slowly fed bits of her into the fire whenever he could, until a neighbour came over and complained about the smell. Since everyone knew she had “run off”, the neighbour claimed to have joked “That fire sure stinks. You burning your wife in there or something? Heeheehee”. Dennis then scrapped that idea, and decided to bury her. In order to cover up the fact that he was digging mysterious holes in his backyard, he built a shed, and had friends over to help. At some point he put what was left of the chopped and burnt remains into the floor. His friends also knew his wife had “run off”, and claim to have joked with him “You burying your wife under this?”. Har har.
He got away with it for 20 years. The police went to the shed earlier this year and dug it up to see if she was buried there. She was. He was charged with her murder, and as far as I know is still awaiting his trial. He claimed self defence.
Gotta pilot’s license? Then you can try Dr. Bierenbaum’s technique, although bear in mind he was found guilty (albeit after a 15 year lag).
From back-of-the-envelope calculations, it appears that the 55-gallon drum filled with a body and concrete would not be able to float.
Explanation:
A 55-gallon drum has a volume of 250 L.
Human bodies, within a reasonable margin of error, have a specific gravity of 1.
Concrete has a specific gravity somewhere between 2.24 and 2.4, seawater is 1.03.
Cite:
http://www.reade.com/Particle_Briefings/spec_gra2.html
A 100 kg human should occupy ~100 L of the drum. The remaining 150 L should be completely filled with concrete.
150 L of concrete would have a mass of at least 336 kg.
250 L of seawater has a mass of 257.5 kg.
No amount of decay of the body can cause the drum+decay products+concrete to have a mass of less than 257.5 kg, so it will never float.
Since I haven’t run any field tests (fortunately, I don’t have any bodies in need of disposal), I can’t guarantee that my predictions are correct.
Alright Robin. Im taking your word on this. If this method of pest removal comes back to haunt me, Im taking you to court!
Interesting that this comes up, given the disappearance and probable murder of a middle-aged woman that occurred in our city a couple of years ago. (My husband was a detective in our city police department at the time of the incident, although not assigned to the case – computer forensics, not homicide, is his specialty.)
Without going into too many details, the case remains unsolved not because they haven’t beaten every bush possible, but because they do not have a body. There is evidence to indicate that she was injured and dragged (this due to track marks in outside gravel) but nothing which would prove she was dead. Even her purse was left behind (although thrown up onto the roof of the house.)
Interestingly enough, one of the deceased’s several boyfriends mentioned to police that sure 'nuff, he knew a perfect way to dispose of a body…slice it open, stuff it with rocks, and dump it in water. Apparently opening the abdomen allows the gases which would normally cause the body to be buoyant to escape, and the rocks, obviously, weight the body. Mind you, finding a place with water deep enough to do this is going to be difficult in our part of Texas, but it’s not impossible, apparently.
I thought this sounded just a tad farfetched, myself, but my husband assures me that method would indeed work. The big trick would be doing it such that no one saw you disposing of the body…but if that could be done, and assuming that nobody found the body, you’d pretty much be home free as long as the fish were hungry, nobody found the vehicle you transported the body in, what you wrapped it in or the boat (one assumes) that you used to tow the body out. A lot of assumptions there, but workable.
Incidentally, apart from that comment, there was absolutely no evidence the guy had been around her at all for a couple of weeks before the murder…certainly not enough for a search warrant, and he wouldn’t agree to a polygraph. (Me, I say bring out the thumbscrews, but this isn’t permitted any more, sadly enough.) Dragging has turned up nothing.
Although I know these guys are trying to wrap this up, it still doesn’t make one terribly sanguine about the possibility of having one’s own murder solved, I must admit.
There was a movie last year (“Snatch”) in which some very convincing statistics about the rate at which pigs eat bodies. Can’t remember the name of it. The conclusion was that you need to keep six pigs hungry for a couple of days beforehand, and it will take twelve hours to get rid of the evidence.
My great uncle lost a cowman in this manner during the last proper war. At least, bloodstains and a boot found in the sty led them to that conclusion.
Burning flesh has a very telltale stench. We used to find stray cats on our farm that died and we’d burn them to get rid of any potential disease and they really produced a powerful smell (ever smell burning hair? Same thing for skin and bones). Also, they don’t burn very well. You could have a huge bonfire and end up with a blackened cat that was easy to identify.
The preferred method is to push them into a very deep hole while they are still alive, then shoot them and fill the hole.
Hmm thought this thread was locked up since discussing of illegal activities isn’t allowed ,
but here is another one smash it to bits and bring it to a kebab meat shop , those places are awful and have sweepings off abatoir floors as “meat”
Or you could just go to a local cremetorium and put the body with another body due to be cremated , bit disrepsectful to the deceased family mind.
Actually the get them into a hole and shoot them isn’t very good , the police unveiled some tech recently (from a news report i saw on TV) which could tell if ground had been disturbed lately to aid them where to dig for bodies.
But i recall seeing a Japanese film and the assassin took the body to a building site and threw the body into a foundation cast while it was being filled with concrete/cement , nobody would ever find that there nor would police bother to tear apart a massive foundation to search for a body.
This might be a little of topic but what are you going to do, kill me and dispose of my body? Oh, wait.
In Australia there is a notorious criminal called Mark ‘Chopper’ Read who was a hitman and all round psycho for many years. Then he wrote some tell all books and became famous. They made a great movie “Chopper” about him last year.
Anyway, a few years ago he was invited on the talk show of Libby Gorr aka Elle McFeast (funny woman and big time shit stirrer) on the Australian ABC network. This is one of those “seemed like a good idea at the time” ideas. Before the show they kept Chopper waiting in a backstage room with free beer (big mistake). By the time he got on the show he had had about 20 cans and by anyones standards was thouroughly pissed.
Well at one point he started talking about some guy that he had killed by shoving him in a cement mixer. Chopper was laughing “It took us hours to get him into it, the bastard. He kept climbing out”.
Explaining hypothetically how to dispose of a body is one thing but here was a convicted murderer explaining LIVE on TV how he had killed someone.
So there is another method from an expert. Chuck victim in cement mixer and bash them until they stop trying to climb out. Then lay down a slab. Its tried and tested.
Couldn’t you dissolve the teeth in Coke?!
Why hide a body? I mean, if the person died from say a heartattack(or was killed with a method that looked like a heartattack), then I’d say just clean up any evidence of you being there and leave it. The police/feds/etc most likely will not look any deaper than that.
Also, if you are going to hide a body, that again would depend on how you did it. If you knifed/shot/etc a person, has long as they can not ping it on you, leave it. If you must/want to hide it, then try the following methods :
these are just for AMUSEMENT, I’m not condining this, yada yada yada
Method 1 (Bury it)
1.) Once you have selected the location for the “grave” and have cleaned up the mess (Bleaching the area where the body was), cut from the sternum to the top of the waste about half-way through the body. This will allow the internal gases to get out and will keep the dirt from shifting when buried
2.) after digging the hold(usually more than 3 ft down, nevermore than 6(waste of time), cover the body with bleach(to destroy any dna traces that you might have left on it) or cover it with some other type of acid like compound(lye, etc).
3.) cover with dirt and then disturb/destroy the rest of the ground around the grave(throws off the trail, and makes it more difficult to notice a new “grave”)
Method 2 (Chop shop) :
1.) Chop up the body and place in the appropriate amount of plastic baggies(ziplock or something similiar)
2.) clean up
3.) Either select several dozen different dumpsters or random trashcans for the disposal or just go for a drive down your favorite freeways and toss the bags out has you go.
Method 3 (2 for 1 deal) :
1.) Double stuff a coffin. Basically, place the body under the mattress of the coffin, put the original body(the one that actually belonged in the coffin) back on top.
Method 4 (Welcome to your new home) :
1.) Find a graveyard and place it in there
OR
1.) Put in a mortuary locker(this requires faking documents though and is usually not recommended unless you have a friend that works there).
Method 5 (Leave it) :
1.) Just leave it, once again, if they can’t trace it to you, who cares
Method 6 (Start with a good foundation)
1.) After cutting into the body to let the gasses out, wrap in trashbags
2.) Find a nice new construction lot where they are set to pour concrete.
3.) Dig under where they are planning to pour the foundation.
4.) Drop the body in the hole
5.) Put everything back just like it was.
I think that is enough for now. But basically, the best way to hide a body is in plane sight. If you plan everything out to the very end, you shouldn’t need to worry about hiding bodies.
-Bathos