So, it has occurred to me recently that, as a rule, I expect things not to go my way in life, even though, when I look back objectively, I’m overall pretty fortunate compared to many (and even compared to my own expectations). Chalk it up to a mix of past experience and questionable self-esteem. The armed forces have a handy and crude expression that sums up the attitude pretty succinctly: “BOHICA”*
The end result is that I am rarely that surprised if others forget to let me know about social plans, or if a hoped-for outcome at work doesn’t pan out, and on the upside, when things do go my way, it’s almost like a pretty danged pleasant surprise (examples in the past year include promotions, special recognition at work, and the opportunity to gain an IT industry certification on the employer’s dime despite my job not normally involving IT work).
I’m sure that a large part of this is just my attitude about things (see previous comment regarding self-esteem), and how I should or if I should do anything about that is a whole other discussion that I’m not here to ask about, but being a LibArts major, I’m mostly just frustrated by the fact that I’m not sure what to call this sort of outlook (is it just being a pessimist? Do I just have a realistically Russian outlook on life, as Commander Ivanova on Babylon 5 would say?).
So yeah, what do you call this sort of outlook?
*BOHICA meaning: Bend Over, Here It Comes Again!:rolleyes:
Eeyore.
The op had included “pessimist” and “realistic” as words that weren’t quite it and despite the acronym offered I get why those are missing something. There is something in the op that suggests being content with that expected low lot in life even more than just resigned to it. A hint of bittersweet self-depreciating humor as a defense that “pessimist” and “realist” does not capture.
A shtetl era joke would have the answer be: “Chosen.” And I suspect there is some good Yiddish word for that view that expecting little is the only realistic expectation. What it is I don’t know. The stoic philosophers had some of that flavor too but “stoic” does not fit.
How about “pragmatist,” in the sense of being able to get through life without being knocked down or disabled (even temporarily) by disappointment…?
I always thought the “glass half full/half empty” proverbial phrase was interpreted wrongly–it’s usually held to be a comment on a person’s sunniness or gloominess of personality.
Instead, it could be interpreted as a commentary on a person’s level of expectations, rather than on that person’s demeanor. Seeing the glass as half empty would then mean that the viewer of the glass had high expectations–which is usually seen as a positive character trait.
Is it? Why would one expect things to go their way?
It’s a vast, indifferent universe out there. And it’s not set up to coddle us, protect us, be sympathetic to us. It gives us no guarantees whatsoever, other than our eventual death. If we’re born into a nurturing family in a stable community, without debilitating defects or disorders, that’s real fortunate. But it’s not written anyplace that it must be that way. Nor that we must continue to enjoy such fortune in the future.
Hope for the best, but plan for less optimal outcomes. Then be sure to be appreciative when, by luck or by effort, things go well for you and yours.
