We also didn’t have any garter removal or bouquet tossing.
We chose to use a DJ as opposed to a band, because we didn’t want the focus to be “on the band”. He wasn’t cheesy though. All music he played was approved by us first.
None of that for us either. Of course we’re not in our 20’s either. I’m a 44 year old widower. Our requirements for the wedding and reception were simple: nice, enjoyable, respectful.
It doesn’t make sense to me how you make such a blanket statement like that. I mean really, the most boring thing in the world? Wow. If I’m attending a wedding for someone I care about, I would be happy for them. Of couse it could be boring, on an individual basis… but that’s not because it’s a wedding.
Hell no the registry is not set in stone. I’m sorry, but what’s wrong with providing a list of things that you’d like to have? You know what irks me? It’s when someone buys a gift that is largely dependent upon personal tastes. If you don’t want to buy off the registry, or the items there are too expensive, then don’t do it. If you want to give a gift, there’s nothing wrong with cash or a check. For that matter a gift card to where the couple is registered. There are a ton of options. I don’t want to meet the people that are upset because someone didn’t buy off the registry. Call me old fashioned, but I’m still a believer in “It’s the thought that counts”.
A couple years ago, at a NYC wedding that probably ran a good $125K, the bride and groom got pretty toasted during the dinner. They had plenty of money, but little class and its absence was on full display. When the groom ducked under her Vera Wang wedding dress in search of his prize, the not-so-prim, not-so-sober bride apprised everyone in the crowd of his hit-and-miss success with pantomime facial expressions. As the crowd grew quiet–people were aghast, of course–we could hear smooching sounds from underneath her dress.
Lots of smooches. Lots of facial expressions. Lots of shuffling of feet among the attendees, followed by the bride’s beet-faced father walking up to the groom and forcibly pulling the rutting dog off his little girl.
This as the videotapes ran and the cameras flashed.
Fine for a frat party, not so great at a wedding. Especially with a priest and rabbi nearby.
You stole this from me. I am going to be an usher in my friends upcoming wedding, and while I am more than happy to do so, there is still a small part of me that is resentfull that they can get married, and I am not, even though they have only been togethor 2.5 years, and we have been togethor 7.5.
Besides that though, I hate hate hate the garter toss. My cousin did that at his wedding when the only “single” people were me, my dad, and his dad. Who the hell did he expect to catch it? Me of course, while I was totally skeeved out. I wonder if he remembered that when I came out a couple of years later 
.
Of course, the groom and the mother of the bride showing up to the wedding so drunk they could barely stand is pretty tacky too, but that was only at one wedding I went to.
Yes, but online wedding registries are great. Last month I spent ten minutes on the Crate and Barrel website choosing and purchasing a wedding gift. I didn’t need to worry about wrapping it, getting a card or bringing it to the reception.
I know that Miss Manners thinks they are impersonal, but they are useful when you can’t think of something special for the gift.
I also prefer buffets as they allow more mingling, but you have to have the right food for it. Finger food is best, and preferably something that’s not too messy.
OG SMASH CAKE-SMASHERS!
Really, I’d be amazed if there’s anyone on this board who’s okay with that. And what’s really aggravating is that it’s been going on for so long, people are starting to think that it’s some kind of ancient tradition, and you’re a spoilsport if you don’t do it at your own wedding, or laugh if you’re a guest. I Googled “bride cake smear” just now, and many of the links mentioned in in the context of “Some brides and grooms…” “In many circles…” “They may also…” :smack: Wikipedia, specifically, says, “In some social groups, the bride and groom smear cake on each other’s faces at this time. In other social groups, this would be considered vulgar.” Gah! Is “In some social groups” code for “If you’re an immature jackass”? And the “would be considered vulgar” implies that the only people who don’t bust a gut at this are the same people who won’t associate with you if you went to public school.
I even once saw an etiquette column (not Miss Manners, I’m fairly certain) in which someone wrote in to analyze this so-called tradition, explaining that the initial smash, by the bride to the groom, symbolizes her last gasp of childhood (or something) and her wiping his face off symbolizes that she’s now assuming her wifely duties of serving him, and so forth. The columnist sweetly replied that cake-smashing does not symbolize sod-all, other than the fact that some people can’t be in the presence of a video camera without clowning around.
::pant pant:: Okay, beyond that. I wouldn’t call this a dislike, exactly, but I’ve rarely been to a wedding where there wasn’t some twittering about what was being tossed, if anything, as the bridal party left the church. In the '70s, rice-throwing was falling out of favor because it was wasting food. Okay, so you throw birdseed. No, that’s like scattering BBs around; someone will fall and break their neck. Okay, release butterflies. Are you kidding? One hour late and you’ve got dead butterflies! Okay then, balloons. No, the birds will choke on them, and anyway, this is a wedding, not Chuck E. Cheese. How about soap bubbles? Eek! Soap bubbles on my silk suit? Confetti? No, someone will have to sweep it up. Hey, I’ve got a great idea! Why don’t we go back to throwing rice? What? With all the people starving in the world, you want to waste food?..
Wa-hoo! Based on what’s been listed here, my wedding was perfect!
Some of the guests may not be comfortable, but I’d be very surprised if the bride, groom and minister have a problem. The bride and groom are usually intimately involved with planning every aspect of the ceremony. They know exactly what they’re getting. And performing the ceremony is the minister’s job so he’s not likely to be uncomfortable doing it. As for the guests: I’ve been to many traditional Catholic weddings - Latin Nuptial masses taking up to 90 minutes - where the invitations have warned the guests about the ceremony’s likely length so that those guests who think they’ll be bored can decide not to come, or bring a cushion or something.
As a chorister, I have a few pet hates. In order of dislike:
- brides who insist on being late because it’s “traditional”;
- couples that are spending tens of thousands of dollars on their wedding but who baulk at handing over the choir’s very minimal fee;
- couples who want to have their wedding in the church because “you know it’s pretty and the religion stuff is really nice” and then proceed to bitch and moan when they’re told that they can’t have the music that they’ve chosen because the lyrics are completely inappropriate for a church wedding. The number of times I’ve witnessed the “but it’s my wedding” tantrum from a bride…
I can’t bang the chick in white. (Unless I’m REALLY careful and clever!) 
Okay, I did another search about cake-smashing. ultimatewedding.com actually thinks it rates discussion as to whether you should or not. I think the first sentence speaks volumes: “For most of us, the available opportunities for smashing cake are few and far between, once we are out of diapers.”
The posters to the Brides.com forum seem to be a more level-headed lot, with most of them vetoing the idea.
And a site called halfbakery generates this suggestion from someone called xandram: "The hydraulic wedding cake would have a pump put inside of it with an attached cord that goes through the table. It would be operated by a pedal hidden underneath. As the bride and groom lean over to cut the cake, someone from the wedding party would step on the pedal and the cake would rise up and smash them both in the face at the same time. Surprise." I like the cut of xandram’s jib. And calum has this to say: “I suspect that the cake-face-mash move is an American, rather than global, tradition and, speaking as one whose national wedding tradition is drinking til the end of the following week while wearing a skirt, a mighty perplexing and bizarre one at that.”
Just out of curiosity, what are some outrageously inappropriate songs your choire has declined to sing?
Here are my wedding pet peeves, based on my own and those of family and friends:
- Incompetent DJs - I once attended an afternoon wedding reception at which the DJ played such boring, non-danceable music that only the older and/or limited-mobility guests remained indoors at one point, everyone else (including the happy couple) having adjourned to the garden to smoke or have an audible conversation (imagine that!)
-Guests who try to upstage the bride and groom, whether with excessively revealing dresses, white dresses (once I saw both on the same woman), or overly dramatic behavior (tantrums, violent, weepy and/or puking drunkenness, dry-humping on the dance floor, loud arguments with their spouses/dates, fistfights, etc.)
-The Macarena, the Electric Slide, the Hokey Pokey, and various assorted novelty dances in which everyone is pressured to participate. That said, one of my favorite moments of my wedding reception was being part of the conga line, mainly because it was a nice break from the endless photographs, and the only time I got to dance with anyone other than my husband or dad besides the dollar dance. :o
- Banquet hall Nazis. I’m talking about those banquet halls that restrict child guests, (but what about the ring bearer? Does he get kicked out?)
frown on guests moving seats around after the meal, and stick to a very strict timetable (the cake cutting is now! No, you can’t wait for Great-Grandma to get out of the bathroom, sorry!) We once got hustled out of a hall that Had. To. Close. At. Six. Sharp. No. Exceptions. The bride and groom moved the party to the hotel suite they had rented for the occasion, but Mr. Lucky and I headed off to a nearby Starbucks to sober up for the trip home instead. Hey, at least that hall had a decent cash bar, which the bride’s friends enjoyed (myself included) 
Everything I hate’s been mentioned, and I’m not sure if there’s any way around my minor gripe – when the church stage (nave? I dunno what it’s called) is too small for the number of bridesmaids and groomsmen.
The last wedding we went to, each had six attendants. They took up all the space and no one could see the bride and groom. A bigger church or a smaller wedding party would have been nice. (Or they could have had them stand differently, off to the side, maybe.)
We don’t go to many weddings. It was my first exposure to the Chicken Dance. The little kids liked it, but not the adults – they had a “let’s get this over with” look with lots of rolleyes.
That is SO good, it’s just become my email signature quote. Hope you don’t mind! 
Gah, do I hate weddings. Let me count the ways.
I think that the self-written vows would have to top the list. They’re excruciating to listen to. It’s like watching somebody take a shit. It’s intensely private stuff that should never be done in front of people.
I’m not a big fan of religious ceremonies either (being in a church burns my skin), but the level of pain with that varies according to the specific brand of religion which is being displayed. I find that I can be fairly comfortable with Catholic ceremonies, largely because they tend to be formulaic, impersonal and quiet, with a minimum of grandstanding, audience participation and preaching.
Another annoying thing is attention whoring on the part of wedding party members. Especially members who aren’t getting married.
Also, just pomposity and self-importance in general, bridezillas, money-grubbing on invitations (“the couple would prefer cash instead of gifts”) and long, boring speeches at receptions.
I just find it tacky. It’s conspicuous consumption at its worst-- sort of a modern Brewster’s Millions challenge: how much can you spend in one day? I’ve known some brides who do make a competition of it, with each trying to outdo the spectacle of the previous. (Sometimes, they don’t even really realize they’re doing it.)
There’s also sometimes a vague superstition which turns women into Bridezillas. They seem to think that their future happiness depends on how “perfect” they can make this day and they can cause a lot of stress and misery on those around them attempting to achieve it.
My wedding just looks better and better!
It was a lesbian commitment ceremony. It was also brief, un-shmoopie, had no bridesmaids or groomsmen, no formal photos, no garters, no DJs, no dancing, no delays, no ostentatious displays of wealth, no “obey,” brief vows (“I promise to keep you in books,” e.g.), an informal light meal served in the same room as the ceremony, a small quartet that played for less than 10 minutes total during the ceremony, no histrionics, no drunkenness, no cake smashing, and plenty of excellent, excellent cake in several flavors.