After a weird experience I had driving home New Year’s Eve, I was wondering what other dopers do when another driver makes an unwise move that might affect you. Specifically, what do you do if someone moves toward you, but doesn’t hit you, while they’re attempting to move into your lane, either on the highway or off? What do you do if another driver cuts you off? Do you honk, give them the finger, follow them for a while to freak them out or just forget about it after swearing a few times? If you do follow them, why? Are you trying to get their license plate number, trying to teach them a lesson or something else?
In general, if someone is about to hit me, I assume they don’t know I’m there. So I’ll honk and they’ll move over. I might swear a little under my breath if they were acting aggressively or came way too close to hitting me, but other than that, I forget about it. If someone cuts me off, I might be annoyed, but it’s usually forgotten.
One of the gifts of getting older (for me anyway) is being calmer about idiots on the road. Usually (but not always), I’ll just let the driver have his asshole-ish behaviour and just give him a honk to let him know I was there. I’m still prone to anger once in a while. The one that gets me is when I’m trying to merge, and the other driver seems to make it his personal mission to not let me even if there was room. You know the type… they’ll speed up rather than just stay the same speed and let you in. :rolleyes:
I might honk, on the theory that they don’t know I’m there.
Other than that, I’ll yell curses at them inside my car, but I know they can’t hear me. I wouldn’t follow them- that seems to be needlessly escalating the situation.
I might honk if I thought it would lessen the chance of an accident - but not after any chance of impact was past. And I might occasionally flip them off - mainly as a reaction, and depending on my mood.
But most likely I would pay it little attention. Certainly would not consider following them, and would be very surprised if I got more than mildly and briefly upset. Inconsiderate and incompetent drivers are yet one common manifestation of the legion assholes you expose yourself to the moment you venture outside your home. It would simply be too fatiguing to expend more than fleeting emotion on all such assholes.
This is exactly how I feel about it. Unfortunately, in this case, I think I was the asshole. The other guy’s reaction, though, was utterly mystifying and was what sparked the question about following. Here’s the situation:
I’m driving home Wednesday night. I’m well behind someone going slower than me, but decide to change lanes. So I put on my blinker and, like a good girl, look in my rearview and my side mirror, glance over my left shoulder and start to move over. Then I notice the car that was in my blindspot. So I edge right back to where I was. At first, I didn’t think the guy noticed. There was no honking, he didn’t give me the finger. Then I looked to the left to see if I could move over yet. Nope - he had pulled forward. So I waited for him to pass. And waited. Thinking, “Jeez, just move already,” I glanced over again and he was right next to me staring at me. No glaring, no hand motions - just staring. Freaky. So I kept going, thinking I’d just let him stare and get over his snit. But he stayed there for almost five miles, alternately staring at me and looking at the road, slowing down to keep up with me. There was someone to my right, so I couldn’t move over there and it’s assholish to slam on your brakes in the middle of the freaking highway at any time, especially in rush hour, so I ignored him and he eventually slowed down and let me in, which was even weirder. I would have preferred getting the finger.
The whole time, I was trying to figure out what staring would accomplish. Should I suddenly realize the error of my ways and pull over to humbly beg his forgiveness and promise never, ever to do it again? Or should I give him the finger, justifying his outrage?
If anyone is with me, I’ll usually launch into an oratory/diatribe against not only the offending motorist, but incorporating examples from the past as evidence to buttress what is ultimately my curse word-laden thesis.
If the other driver does something really stupid and/or dangerous, I’ll toot my horn and give them a dirty look. Sometimes they just need a wake-up toot, to get them to pay attention. I’ve been tooted at too.
In years gone by, I’d lay on the horn and flip them the one-fingered salute while yelling torrents of profanity so vile I could feel my grandma slapping me from beyond the grave.
After a cat in South Carolina tried to run me—and my then pregnant wife—off the road and waved a tire tool at us out the window of his truck, I stopped doing anything worse than just bitching to myself using my patented “Pissed-Off Old Man Voice”.
Differing situations require different responses. Usually I try to balance my driving karma by either ignoring it and keep driving, or pulling up behind the vehicle in question and taking a photo of their license plate with the cellphone cam.
Are you my late brother re-incarnated? Last time I drove with him was a white knuckle ride to my driving school lessons ( of all things) and I got to watch someone who was 10 years older than me go beserk at every car that passed him, (supposedly) cut him off or had the audacity to be in his lane.
The ride home with him was the last time I ever rode with him. By the time he was in his 40’s, he had gone through about 10 cars from being an asshole. All paid for courtesy of my mom. ( That, my friends, was possibly my college money…)
I realized then, as I feared for my life in his POS little car ( maybe a Vega, can’t remember.) that while I always knew something was a little off about this brother, thatride confirmed it.
This is how people change lanes where I live. They swerve toward you until you either slow down or speed up to get out of their way. Seriously.
If I did anything about it, I’d have gone crazy by now since it happens almost daily here. On the other hand, when I’m in a bad mood, I do tend to wonder why I live here.
I call them filthy names in a voice they can’t hear (while hoping they can’t lip-read), seethe with anger for about 5 seconds and then do my best to get over it.
overlyverbose, I think you encountered a genuine nutbag, and I would feel very creeped out for a long time if someone did that to me.
ETA: not that you should feel creeped out, because you’ll probably never ever see that person again.
I pray for them. Seriously, I found that its hard for me to be mad at someone I’m praying for and that I’m a better driver when I’m not pissed off, so I pray that they make it to their destination safely and for the other drivers they interact with on the road. I figure, even if it doesn’t do them any good it does do me good.
I have a patented method for dealing with this type of driver. First I make eye contact with the craziest look I can manage at the time. Then I lower all the window in the car (to improve the chance of the offender hearing my profanity laced verbal assault.) Next, I accelerate until I am literally two inches or less from the driver’s back bumper. Then I will steer with my knees so as I can extend both middle fingers and being as close as I am, they will be all this person can see in his rear-view. My arms are laced through the steering wheel so I can maintain a continuous blast of the horn. I will follow the driver to the end of the world until the person finally stops. I then grab the sawed off baseball bat that I keep in the back seat and get out of the car. As the offender exits, I invite him to the nearest Denny’s for a cup of coffee and an opportunity to discuss life, the Universe, and Everything.
Ok, that is what I would like to do, in reality I curse to myself and back off.
I used to do all manner of inappropriate actions when I was younger - horn, finger, aggressive menuvering, tossing objects (soda cans, pennies, whatever), “traffic control” (matching speed with a car in another lane so no one can pass on a two lane road), you name it.
As I got older, more mature, and desensitized to people driving like assholes (mostly from driving in Boston and NYC), mostly I do nothing more than mutter amusing commentary. Usually I just use the horn if there is a safety issue.
While nothing ever happened, I gradually figured out the last thing I wanted to be was some moron stuck in a ditch or worse, waiting to explain how I ended up there because I was fucking with some dude who pissed me off.
With so many bonehead “drivers” on the road these days, it’s practically a lost cause. It’s much easier to consider everyone else on the road as an idiot and defensive drive all the way.
At least until I get the lasers tweaked correctly.
