This happens so often, I’m surprised I couldn’t find a thread. I’m sure you’ve all dealt with this. This example involves steak, but this can be an issue in many places.
You go to one of the best steakhouses in the city. You’re seated and even given the option of white or dark linen. The best cutlery that money can buy is in front of you, including a steak knife made of Valerian steel. You order the house specialty: dry-aged bone-in rib-eye, medium-rare. You get your food, take the first couple of bites, and it’s damn delicious. And then you get to that piece. It’s almost part bone, part meat. No matter how much you chew, you just can’t get it into a texture that can be swallowed. And there are no paper napkins or towels. Only cloth. And there’s no paper in the vicinity. What do you do?
What I’ve normally done is lift the cloth on my lap to my mouth (as if I’m wiping it), and then sneak the piece in my mouth into a fold in the cloth. It then goes back on my lap, with the bad piece nicely sequestered. But then eventually, you get to another piece like that. Since it’s such a nice place, you don’t expect many of these. Maybe the next one is just too fatty. Perhaps you’ve now used up all your towel corners. It does affect your enjoyment, especially since you have to remain conscious of the other pieces that you’ve accumulated, so to not have a nasty accident having it fall out for all your table to see.
If I get something I have to spit out at a nice steak house, I’ll spit it discreetly into my napkin and then place it on my plate and call over the waiter to have the problem fixed. Although I can’t think of the last time I had a bite that needed to be spit out at the kind of restaurant you’re describing.
Really? I can’t think of a single time that it didn’t. Perhaps with a filet mignon in my past, but these days I only order rib-eyes. Del Frisco’s, Wolfgang’s and even the porterhouse the one time I went to Peter Lugar’s.
I just take it out of my mouth and place it on my plate. Eventually it will just be another uneaten item picked up by the busboy. If you think about it, it’s no different than chicken bones. You eat a chicken wing, the bones go back on your plate. You eat a steak, the gristly parts go back on your plate. Some people take it further, and refuse to eat fat, or chicken skin, or a broccoli stem, or their potato skins, or whatever. You aren’t obligated to eat everything you’re served at a restaurant, and sometimes the part you don’t want is attached to a part that you do want, and you have to use your fingers to remove the part you don’t want and return it to your plate. Sometimes you don’t realize you don’t want it until it gets into your mouth.
I disagree with Emily Post, because a napkin hides the process of removal. Raise my napkin to my lips, extrude the offending morsel into the napkin, and drop it discreetly onto my plate. If a major portion of the steak is un-chewable, I may mention it to the waiter and ask for a replacement.
A less upscale place, of the sort I generally frequent, I just cut it into smaller pieces and work around the gristle. Get a doggy bag and bring it home for the dog (Leet the Wonder Dog[sup]TM[/sup] is always eager to fulfill his role as Gristle Cleaner-Upper, Pre-Rinse Cycle for used dishes, and General Leftover Disposal).
I use the Shodan method, including saving bits for the ravenous dachshund we have at home. My sister’s even taken to bringing a plastic baggie in case there are only cloth napkins, so she doesn’t have to ask for a doggy bag for the … uh…dog?
If the restaurant is sufficiently upscale, you should be able to call over a waitperson (of your choice of gender) to delicately remove the offending morsel from your mouth with their tongue.
You’re right. The more I think about it, I think this only applies to steakhouses. And it seems some folks just deal with the extra fatty or oddly-textured pieces by swallowing them.
I never knew any method to be appropriate other than to load it back onto your fork (inside your mouth) and then place it on your plate. I sure wouldn’t want my napkin to be messed up with chewed food.
ReLoading a fork with the now masticated grisly remains that have been rejected By one’s palate and setting the spit pile down on or next to the plate is vomit inducing imo. Likewise swallowing gristle.
This reminds me of the dinner training scene in Point if No Return (La Femme Nikita remake).
The lesson is, if you find a piece of bone in your mouth to discreetly pluck it from your teeth and place it on the edge of your plate. Of course, Maggie-from-Margaret takes a huge chomp of her Cornish hen and spits the mouthful at the table, yelling “BONE!”
Nice restaurant, crappy restaurant, home, any indoor place and most outdoor places. Same answer: that’s why God created napkins.
The only exception is when rambling out in the tullies with the cousins or some such. It’s back to mother nature for the offending bit. Bonus points for distance.