I mutter, mumble, chatter, and emit assorted strings of odd noises and appealing words when completely alone.
I watch America’s Next Top Model obsessively.
I’m not even American.
I talk to the furniture, the cats, the computer screen and the curtains. Sometimes, when there are other people in the house and I forget about them, they catch me at it.
“Dad! Mommy’s talking to the washing machine again!”
I also sit funny when I’m reading, with my legs curled under and to one side, my left hand tucked between my legs. Until someone took a photo of me, I didn’t realize it looks for all the world as though I am playing with myself! :eek: Now I’m hyper self-conscious about it, and have taken to compulsively rubbing the top of my knee instead.
I watch it, too. Being American doesn’t make me any less embarrassed.
Sometimes, when I have a clever idea, or somethin I will say “Yarrr!” I seem to persist in this, dispite losing my pirate licence several years ago due to a messy incident with some parrots, and a gangplank.
I go through phases where I sing along to Chumba Wumba’s “I Get Knocked Down.” I don’t want anyone else catching me do this.
The only other thing I can think of is my fabric habit. I like to sew, and if everyone really knew how much fabric I buy . . . well, it wouldn’t be pretty. I try to hide the fabric stash.
I collect photographs of lost or abandoned gloves. This is embarrassing because it means I take photographs of lost or abandoned gloves - not even my wife understands me on this one.
That, of all things disclosed on this site, is at the top of your list? 
Pretty much. I mean, I do a lot of other things common to humanity that would be potentially embarrassing if I had to do them in public (like using the toilet and removing earwax), but photographing lost gloves is the public behaviour of which I am most often and most acutely self-conscious.
I should probably clarify that in my post above, [using the toilet] and [removing earwax] are two distinct entities; in case anyone should come to the mistaken conclusion that I have discovered a method of using a toilet to remove earwax.
Here goes mine then: I compulsively twirl the bottom of my t-shirt so that my fingers can get satisfaction. Imagine someone stole Linus ’ blanket and he found out he could use his t-shirt to the same effect, not without experimenting with his before. I ruin t-shirts really fast.
Now that you mention I used to do the same thing you did, Amazon Floozy Goddess (with different artists). I’ll probably resume that when I get a decent sound system and the house all to myself…
not without experimenting with his hair before. While we’re at it I suck my tongue while doing this. I’m 25.
Even though I live alone and never have visitors, my two porn DVDs are kept with their titles obscured or, if they’re out and on my disk, flipped over and hidden.
Aside from that, I don’t know.
'Yeah I’m onboard the “habits that dare not speak their name” boat of shame with that one too. I’ve mentioned the board once or twice to people, and they look at me like I’m KIng of the Martians, so I stopped.
*
It’s a secret. Shhhhh.*
You know, it just occurred to me that while I admit I *read * message boards, I’ve never mentioned posting on one to anyone in my real life.
Hey, I do that too. Lost gloves are really interesting things. Especially when random passers-by stick them on fenceposts.
Actually, I find photographing things in public is sometimes kind of a weird business. If I’m photographing something that could be viewed as private property, I try to wait until no one’s around. Or I’ll just give up the opportunity.
sigh
I say really famous movie lines in front of the mirror, do really bad celebrity impersonations and pretend I’m talking to invisible famous talk-show hosts and that I’m some famous teenage actress they’re interviewing. I also act like I’m in a movie sometimes. Sigh, like when my friend asked me to get a spoon for her from the cafeteria, I brought it and held it to her and replied, “Remember, there is no spoon…WHOOSH!!” Sigh. :o
I’m sort of relieved to see there were people who sucked their thumbs into their early teens. Me, I sucked my thumb until I turned about thirteen.
And the biting toenails thing I still do.
I sing when I’m listening to music. My mother walked in on me while I was singing “Young Lust” and making a GI Joe dance to it on a table.
I tie myself up either when I’m bored, or when I get too… excited, shall we say. I only got caught once.
Never learnt how to masturbate.
Heh. And now you all know far too much that there is to know about me.
I sing loudly to music and dance around. Sometimes I get up and dance around the room. Sometimes I just do what I call the chair dance. Sometimes I use a pen for a pretend microphone.
I feel so relieved now.
I used to have a recording of myself singing “Slient All These Years” on my computer but eventually deleted it in fear of potential discovery. 
It sounds like we’re all embarrassed about our singing. I sing to myself when I’m alone all the freaking time and make sure to include bad white-girl sexy dancing and angry rockstar faces. Never in front of anyone, unless I’m really drunk. But honestly, that’s no excuse for my horrifyingly shameful “moves.”
The really bizarre one, that nobody, including me, understands: I collect dead batteries. My mom found a box of them under my bed after I left for college, and she and my sister asked me about it one day. “Um…we found the box of batteries…” They were all trying not to giggle, like I was a mental patient and they didn’t want me to have to know I was a total weirdo. I couldn’t explain, so I just muttered and turned red. I had never considered the idea that anyone might find out, let alone how weird they would think it was. I eventually went through the same deal with Mr. Frail, but he just lets me be freakish in peace now.