Just remember the day that the fire alarm sounded at noon at the school…
One in a million shot, doc!
Where do you think the Flying Spaghetti Monster came from?
First rule of Noodle Incident: Never talk about Noodle Incident.
I think we’re onto something.
I think that not only noodles, but hot sauce and worms were also involved.
I once posited that something of his dad’s was involved too, but since his parents seem to have been kept in the dark about it, that’s not quite so tenable a part of my theory anymore.
Zombies were probably in on it, though.
In my mind, I envision an incident to rival Phoney Bone’s fateful incident with prune tarts at the founder’s picnic. When the bathrooms are all closed.
But yeah, it’s funnier if we don’t know what it is, as anything we imagine will be worse than whatever Watterson develops.
Having stated for the umpteenth time [does umpteen come after nineteen?] that he needs to go to the bathroom, Calvin receives a coveted Hall Pass. He sees the cafeteria door ajar; a fantasy forms…
Spaceman Spiff has landed on an unclassified world; the surface appears uninhabited, but there are reinforced cave entrances, a sign of advanced burrowing technology. Atomic Death Blaster set to “frappé,” the intrepid explorer sets off into the Underworld…
And encounters an enraged Hairnetted Shreek! It doesn’t see him; Spiff takes his time to aim, but to no avail – the blaster has no effect! Thinking quickly, our hero turns his attention to a vat of viscous goo that’s bubbling over a jet of flame from deep within the planetary core. The blaster heats the vomitine vessel to boiling, spraying the deadly alien while Spiff makes his escape!
Back in the classroom…(Cafeteria worker): “I didn’t see who, but somebody turned up the heat under the beef stroganoff. There’s sauce and noodles everywhere.”
(Miss Wormwood): “Calvin…”
(Calvin): “IT WASN’T ME!”
(Miss Wormwood): “What’s that on your face?”
(Calvin): “…I…sneezed.”
Showing once again his genius.
I don’t care to know what it was – it could never be better than not knowing.
I thought so, too, till I googled Motley Crue spaghetti incident. Trust me. You don’t want to. Even if it’s NOT true.
I will listen to my better judgment in the future.
I will listen to my better judgment in the future.
I will listen to my better judgment in the future… Urk.
Very good, but mine accounts for “all those sirens at noon”. 
I told you!
Though BwanBob’s incident skeeved me even more than the Motley Crue one.
Dude, when the cafeteria kitchen gets splattered with flaming stroganoff sauce just before lunch, how does that NOT explain sirens before noon?
Meh. That’s happened to me a lot. Women throwing up while having sex with me, that is. They hadn’t all eaten pasta beforehand, of course.
Noodles!
That incident with the Rigatoni, butter, hookers and helicopters was supposed to be expunged from my record once I turned 50!