Huh. I never figured you for a toe sucker…
It’s not a toemor.
(You didn’t figure Tucker for a toe-sucker? I totally did!)
I’m not, actually, but [del]if it’ll get you off[/del] save your life, I’m more than willing to oblige.
Oh, don’t be so silly. Everyone knows that Reverse Zombification is when you brain starts consuming the rest of your body. It has nothing to do with toes.
Also, is it me, or has this thread become mildly creepy?
alice_in_wonderland, have you been dating Mark Gastineau? Because if you have, it could be Gang-green. And you know what That means…
whips out hack-saw
[StephenKing]“This is going to be Extreeeemely painful…!”[/StephenKing] :eek:
What do you mean “mildly”?
You’re all wrong. There must have been a radioactive spider in the boots which bit alice, turning her into a reversed Spiderman. Soon, she’ll start shooting webs, but instead of shooting webs from her wrists, she’ll shoot webs from her ankles, but they’ll go directly into the floor glueing her shoes into place.
So her ski bindings will be rock solid, right?
I wonder if I can parlez this into a money making scheme…
“Never lose your shoes again! Tired of losing that one shoe driving down the highway*? No more with the Ronko patented No Slip Shoe Web[sup]TM[/sup]”
I’m gonna be RICH!
*What is up with that anyway. A pair of pants I can see, but who the heck loses a SHOE while they’re driving?!?!
I have wondered that myself. I see lone shoes quite frequently in my travels. Maybe people put their shoes on the car while getting in and forget they’re up there?
It is a simple mix up. Alice, you can not feel them because they are not your toes. They are mine. I have been plagued with the sensation of my toes zooming down ski slopes, wiggling, tapping and being experimentally pinched at odd hours of the day. My toes have experienced a multitude of peculiar sensations that I can only hope were crude neurological tests. Clearly, you left your toes on the slopes in the comforting anesthesia of the snow, and mistakenly left with mine. I will admit to fault in not sewing my name into them for ease of identification, but I must point out that it was irresponsible of you not paint your toes safety orange for greater visibility in winter conditions
Hey! I resemble that remark!
That’s Mister Mildly Creepy, to you.
You’re developing freaky monkey feet. Don’t worry, because that just makes it worse.
I’m learning to play guitar, and my left hand fingers have this weird semi-numb sensation as a result. While you were frolicking about in the snow, your toes must have been playing guitar. Or maybe bass.
The character Alesandro from A Soldier of the Great War (great book by the way) made the observation that feet come in two types - feet of beauty, and feet of indestructibility. Since you have suffered some degree of destruction, we can therefore conclude that you have feet of beauty. Well, until they start to turn black and fall off anyway.
It has to be toelio.
They used to put toes into an iron boot for treatment. I don’t know just what they do now for treatment.
I don’t actually have any iron boots - that’s it…SHOE SHOPPING!
As if I need an excuse.
Glad I could be of service.
Go shop, tell everyone is medically necessary. Submit the bills to the government.
I LIKE the way you think, sir!
This still has me giggling a day later… 
I’ve got a better idea! I’ll make alice a pair, hand her an exorbitant bill to present to the government, then when they pay up, I’ll take alice to some nice tropical island! (And split some of the money with her!) 