I was a rape therapist for a while. In recovery, there is a time period where some survivors may over-share. Meaning, some survivors find it helpful to share their stories with others, and some find it so helpful that they may do so too much. (I am not trying to generalize and apologize in advance if anyone is offended on this topic, which I realize is sensitive.)
I would agree that this particular icebreaker was not successful, but I would start with the teacher. Perhaps she had a reason to be concerned about a student or students in the classroom and wanted them to know they could reach out to her? (I’m reaching, but it could happen). She should know that her actions were inappropriate and if she was trying to reach out there other ways to accomplish that.
Yeah. More like “ice-maker.” If that had happened to me in high school, my next stop would be my counselor’s office, to request a new math teacher.
What’s really gob-smacking, though, is that if some student took what was apparently the teacher’s “lead,” and disclosed abuse, either sexual, or your more garden variety “parental punching bag” type of abuse, not realizing that teachers are mandatory reporters, that’s going to be a day that student will never forget.
I cannot even CONCEIVE of the train of thought that would lead any teacher to conclude that this would be a good idea – and I have had more than my share of “what possessed me to say that?” moments in the classroom.
I was wondering about this angle. We are in California, so there is a general culture of over-sharing (or so it seems to me, sometimes), but this was surprising.
Well, it’s looking like we are going to have to pursue this somehow. I have a friend who is a counselor at another school. I’ll see what she says tonight
I wouldn’t do it like that, but when I taught my classes would get pretty dark at times-- but then I was teaching English conversation to college students. I’d sometimes address heavy stuff because it as one of the few ways to get my students to speak spontaneously, rather than with reversed phrases. And it helped build a sense of community that led people to become a bit less guarded, which is a huge benefit in foreign language conversation where shyness is the enemy.
But I waited until later in the year, and I always left easy ways for students to opt out of sharing personal stuff and focus on a neutral topic instead.
Anyway, I would keep an eye on it, but wouldn’t really worry. If guess it’s either an over-sharing problem that probably won’t be too huge an issue in math class, or a misguided attempt to open up classroom communication.
I personally prefer Navigator Unger’s Organizational Socialization: Theories and Practice, but it has become disfavored in light of the new “Common Core” standards. The Air Force still uses it, though, but as a secondary resource. On a typical General’s shelf, Unger is under Oveur. Don’t get me started about Dunn’s How to Get Along With People and Not Whack Them Upside the Head.
That was my first thought, but from the teacher’s point of view. She will be up all night filing CPS reports. What sort of insanity is that?
(For whatever it’s worth, in my state mandatory reporter laws don’t have any exceptions about if the abuse has already been reported. If a kid reports abuse, you file a report. It doesn’t matter if they tell you that the reason they are in foster care is X and the court removed them. You call CPS and tell them the kid said X.)
It’s certainly an odd choice, but I don’t think that ultimately it hurts anyone.
I don’t know that I buy the argument that, “Ice breakers are supposed to be light and friendly!”, is really an argument against this. The popular wisdom was that kids should do whatever their priest tells them to do, for several centuries, and that didn’t really turn out for the best. Having a culture of openness and lack of shame is probably a good thing.
Whether this fosters that, I couldn’t say. But I’d presume that the teacher has her right to try her method and maybe it will do some good, maybe it will just alienate her from her students, but ultimately, she’s not going to create little axe murderers out of her pupils, because she overshared.
This has to be the worst example of a nosy, prying icebreaker I’ve ever heard. What kid wants to tell everyone the worst thing that ever happened to him? Just bringing up the topic will make some kids squirm, blush, and hate that class forever.
In addition, I would not have minded this icebreaker and could actually value it. I would have realized other people would have complained, and if I was the teacher I think this thought would have stopped me from using this approach, but it would be OK by me and I would hope my kids would be respectful during and get something out of it.
Moving around a lot as a kid and moving schools at least once a year and being the new kid almost all the time I’ve come to the conclusion that a lot of teenagers are psychotic. (Not yours; your teenagers are groovy.)
A lot of hormonal mini-people trying to find identity within social groups, who have pack mentality, teasing (to varying degrees) of people who are different and prey on the weak. And a kid in this environment is supposed to tell a deep dark secret to a bunch of people who aren’t friends?
This makes as much as much sense as coating yourself in chum chunks and jumping in the middle of hungry sharks.
I’m a hopefully future teacher, and that’s a HORRENDOUS icebreaker! As a future history teacher, mine would be: “What is your least favorite era in US History?”
My god, that is totally inappropriate, and depending what state you’re in, may be a gross violation of rules governing curriculum, privacy, other stuff, other stuff.
I’m coming at this from 20+ years of educational publishing in editorial.
I mean, it’s not like you have to tell the truth. If you say “I once broke my elbow roller skating and it hurt pretty bad,” nobody is going to know that wasn’t actually your lowest point. I’d guess most teenagers have a shareable version of a traumatic event–grandparents dying, a failing grade on a test, a sick friend-- that sort of thing. I would be pretty shocked if a stupid icebreaker is all it takes to induce a fifteen year old into sharing deeply personal information that they are not actually comfortable talking about.
I’m eager to see what your friend says and what happens at school, cher3. I’m also curious about what your son shared and how he feels about having done so; was he carried away by the moment or did he feel ok about sharing? And did any of the other kids? And what was the reaction in class to what the teacher said? As you can see, I’m generally curious about this whole thing as I don’t feel like I have enough information to have an opinion right now. (I am not surprised at how many other dopers are jumping all over the teacher; teaching doesn’t seem to be a profession held in high esteem around here.)