Those Bathroom Readers are actually pretty good. I have about six of 'em in there.
My Kindle.
Sometimes I’ll pretend like I’m going to read in there, but I’m so fast I never get a chance to crack the cover. I mean, I am like that, son- over and out! My colon is like a finely-tuned instrument.
Gardening magazines/books
If I have my laptop, then it’s generally either Facebook or the SDMB. If not, then I keep the latest Reader’s Digest on top of the tank.
In no way I am I now wondering whether Hal was actually on the crapper when he posted that.
Me, I’m in and out in seconds. Eat more vegetables, people.
I do agree that the amount of fruit and vegetables in one’s diet has a remarkable effect on the length of time spent in the little reading room. It’s astonishing how short one’s visits are with adequate fibre.
However, for longer visits, I usually have an Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader (and yes, I do like finding the mistakes in the books) and a Glamour magazine, along with something non-fiction to edify myself.
Okay, after a vodka or two, I will admit that opening the doors under the bathroom sink in just the right way allows one to settle one’s laptop computer upon the top edges.
I have perused these message boards while performing necessary funcions.
My book of N. Y. Times crosswords. They cause me to sit there way longer than I need to.
This thread is making me feel a little bit better about some of the depraved things that I do. Surfing the web while pooing? You people are sick.
Really not in there long enough to think of needing reading material. I guess I’d get bored after a couple of minutes and start thinking how much I need to scrub the tub.
I used to keep a stack of pulp science fiction books on the back of the tank. Now I just whip out my smartphone and read whatever is in the browser. I haven’t posted to SDMB yet while perched on the throne, but I have read it from there…TRM (who finds that reading really helps open up the old sluices.)
Mostly, Fortean Times, Trains or Aeroplane Monthly.
I like the concept, but, usually, it doesn’t take me any longer to poop than to pee and I like it that way.
I find that the New York Times Book Review is um, stimulating reading, particularly when I see that Mark Levin and Bill O’Reilly are still near the top of the bestseller list.
Based on this thread I wonder how many laptops need scrubbing.
Shampoo bottles.
By the time I’ve figured out which syllables to stress when pronouncing words like “Methylchloroisothiazolinone”, I’m done.
Wow, I thought I was quick, but some of you have me easily beat. I read Sports Illustrated. It usually takes me about a week’s worth of pooping to get through an issue, so it works out perfectly.
The Bible. I have a pocket copy of the New Testament. I can usually get through a chapter.
I mostly never have to stay that long but at certain times of the month I can get diahrrea. I keep People magazines in the drawer of the bath cabinet.
A couple months ago I was having a bad time and pulled out a mag from 2000. It listed some shows that were premiering in that week and one of them was CSI(original). The review was pretty bad and they didn’t expect the show to last a season.
That’s why I keep People Weekly in the bathroom.
Same here. Shampoo, soap, deodorant, whatever is within reach. Sometimes I read my text messages.