I’m this way about lunch. It’s just a refueling stop in the middle of the day, AFAIAC. If we’ve got leftovers, I’ll eat leftovers. If not, I’ll make a PB&J or tuna sandwich. After 30 years, I think my wife has finally internalized this, and has stopped asking me what I want for lunch.
I think it had to do with eating lunch together nearly every day since last March due to the pandemic. I think that made it finally sink in.
Back to dinner:
When it came to eating out, back in the Before Times, I’ve always had two or three suggestions about where I’d like to eat.
At home, I might have had a busy afternoon, in which case I’d get to 5pm and I wouldn’t have even thought about dinner. That really isn’t a problem, if push comes to shove: we always have an assortment of frozen dinners in the chest freezer, mostly from Trader Joe’s.
But we have a number of regular recipes that either of us can cook, and we usually have the stuff on hand to make one or more of them, even if it’s been awhile since our last grocery trip. So we usually come to some sort of accord pretty quickly, where one of us cooks up one of those recipes, or if both of us are dog-tired, we nuke some of the aforementioned frozen meals.
That add up to a hell of a lot of chicken. I would be concerned at all the chemicals used in chicken production and packaging.
Tell me about it. I don’t actually even like chicken very much – but hubby’s doc is vehemently about limiting red meat for him plus he’s allergic to shellfish and doesn’t like fish much either.
This really is an issue, and a burden to have to decide.
My feeling is whoever’s turn it is to cook, they also have the responsibility of deciding what to make (based on what we have available). Having to decide is part of the job. And it works 80% of the time.
Here’s the way it goes in my house…
She: Let’s go out/order dinner. What do you want to eat?
Me: How about Mexican?
She: No, I don’t want Mexican. […waits for me…]
Me: OK, how about Chinese?
She: Nnnno, I don’t want Chinese, either. […waits for me again…]
Me: OK, how about sandwiches?
She: No, not that. […waits for me…growing impatient…]
Me: Well, what do YOU want to have, then?
She 
: You ALWAYS make me decide!
This situation was even worse when my parents were around, and this game would involve them, where they would also say, “Eh, whatever…” and then not only my wife glaring at me, but they were also looking my way to break the impasse - everyone wanting me to say the right thing (for them) and no one having any presence to say what they want.
Yes, to this day I get panicky whenever someone says “What do you want to eat?”
That’s the point where I say, “That’s fine, but can you make a suggestion instead?” I’m willing to be snarky about it: “You can veto me if you have a countersuggestion.”
That is a good idea, as it will move this up in the process and save time!:
She 
: You ALWAYS make me decide!
Oh, I don’t play that way. “Nah, I decided on Mexican. Make a counter-offer if you want to veto the decision.”
Tonight’s dinner menu:
“What We’ve Got” with a side of “Just Eat It”
You don’t have to eat it, but there’s not going to be anything else.
This is how I was raised, this is what I believe in.
While the whole “Whatever…no, not that” approach to meals is a very real problem, I’m thinking that at least in the intital aftermath of lockdown being lifted here it might not raise it’s head too quickly.
“Finally, we can eat out again! Where shall we go?”
“Oooh, let’s get Chinese.”
“Great”
“And a burger”
“What?”
"And ThaiPizzaFishnchipsItalianBurritosVeganFrenchSteakMexican…
“OK honey, just breathe through it, we’re here for you”
Good lord that’s bad.
She: Let’s go out/order dinner. What do you want to eat?
Me: How about Mexican?
She: No, I don’t want Mexican. […waits for me…]
Me: Nope, Mexican it is. Unless you have some other ideas?
You’re not making her decide. She’s refusing to let you decide.
Then you go to Mexican, and half way through the meal she says, “I wanted Nepali, but you always get your way.”
I genuinely wonder: do other folks put up with that kind of thing?
If someone said that to me, I’d be tempted to leave the table. More likely, I’d say, “Our system isn’t working. There’s got to be a better system where you feel like you get to make the decisions a fair amount of the time. What would that system look like?” And I’d put on my teacher hat and refuse to take “I don’t know” for an answer.
Here’s what goes down -
She: Where do you want to eat?
You: I don’t know. Mexican? Where do you want to eat?
She: Mexican is fine.
Later: I thought you really, really wanted Mexican because you answered so quickly.
Mostly happens when they are in a bad mood anyway. Never actually has happened at a restaurant, though. And it helps to remember random comments about what sounds good, even from a week earlier, and use that.
Or, next time:
She: Where do you want to eat?
Me: I mean, I can throw an idea out, but I’m not particular; mostly I’m just hungry. You jonesing for anything?
Like, I’m willing to fix a broken system, and if the break is that my fast answers make her feel like she has to go along or get in a confrontation, that’s an easy fix.
I used to have conversations along these lines with my wife, but I found I could cut them much, much shorter by simply suggesting a few of her favourite restaurants; if she’s not interested in those, then we usually just stay home.
For some reason, whenever my wife and I truly can’t think of anything we’d both at least begrudgingly eat (a true rarity), one of us says “KFC!” and it all works out in the end. I think that’s because we don’t beat it to death (probably do it every other month)
A long and complex ballad that partly deals with this very issue: "Weird Al" Yankovic - Trapped In The Drive-Thru - YouTube