Part me out, destroy the rest. Throw a party or something.
There’s this new technique. They freeze-dry you and then pulverize you somehow, into a powder which can then be added directly to your loved ones’ flower pots.
That’s the way to go, I think. I wanna be my best friend’s next year’s jalapeno peppers. I could be a pain in her ass, one more time.
Organ donation, then cremation. My sister knows what to do. Memorial service is o, tho’ not many will show, I’m sure. But if they do, there should be much weeping, wailing, gnashing of teeth, rending of clothes, etc. Get it out of your system. Don’t be noble or philosophical, please. The one thing I HATED at my mother’s and father’s funeral was the whole “Don’t be sad, they aren’t suffering anymore” crap. I felt that it invalidated my feelings of loss. I wanted to tell the (well-meaning) people to STFU. Don’t tell me how to feel, dang it!
Anyway, some cremains should be sprinkled over Glastonbury Tor, and some at Oxford, my two favorite places in England. If there’s any left over, I think I would make a good rose fertilizer.
I’m a big believer in organ donation, so I would definitely want them to take any of my organs that could be useful to someone else. I wish we could have donated something when my father died; it would have been nice to have taken comfort in the idea of a piece of him living on somewhere.
As a med student, I have to say I commend those of you who want to donate your bodies to med school. I felt very grateful to the people that donated their bodies so I could learn anatomy. It is such a selfless thing to do. After having seen their innards in such intimate ways, I felt a bit of a connection to them and wondered a lot about what they were like as people, back when they were alive.
Anyway…I am not much of a risk taker (i.e., not likely to die in a motorcycle accident in my 20s) so I expect by the time I’m done with my organs they won’t be much use to anyone else, but if they are, it’s all up for grabs.
After that, I guess I don’t care much. If I had to pick I’d go with cremation because it seems slightly less unpleasant than what happens to a dead body in the ground, but that’s just a kneejerk reaction. It doesn’t really matter…dead is dead. Ultimately the rituals of funerals/burials are more for the living than the dead. So, if my surviving kinfolk find it more comforting to bury me, I guess that I won’t complain. 
If I had died at a fairly young age, I think I would have opted to be barbecued and served up in a nice cream sauce with some sage and escarole.
At this point I suspect I’d make awfully stringy eating, though. And not likely to improve from here on out.
I plan on dying at 110. Not setting any world records there, just making it into the outlying stats range. I would most earnestly like to dessicate, to dry out in the air until there are no fluids left, and then be placed somewhere seldom encountered, to spook the shit out of the rare passerby. I’d like to be dressed in something akin to velvet, with a fancy staff for my dead hand to hold. Yeah.
Are none of you familiar with Weekend at Bernies? That’s the way to go!
Haven’t seen the sequel, though . . .
Oh, good, here I was thinking I was the only one with that idea. But I’d add in coyotes and whatever other scavengers wanna show up. Crows, ravens, bears, sabre-toothed frogs, I’m not picky. Picked apart maybe, but not picky.
Obviously, this is after anything useable is passed on to someone else who could use it. Which, judging by the way things are going, won’t be much.
I want to end up as a skeleton. In a glass case would be great, but laying around some old ruins to scare the hell out of would-be explorers would be terrific, too.
But, in any case, remember: you must…save…the brain! (I’m thinking either in a jar on a shelf, or frozen, loaded onto a space probe, and fired out of this filthy ape-infested solar system.)
Basically, I want to end up on the cover of National Geographic, even if I never get to see it. (It’s not like I’m going to discover anything important anytime soon.)
And, naturally, any and all guts that I have that are still working when I kick off are free to a good home. (Kinda feel bad for the suckers who end up with my corneas, though. 'Course, they’re going to be people who were already blind, had to have had their eyes sliced apart and partially replaced with stitched in parts from a corpse, and now have to take medication for the rest of their lives so that their sockets don’t rot out. Wearing thick glasses is going to be the least of their problems.)
Organ donation first, of course. Then whatever my family and friends want. Doesn’t matter to me, I’ll be dead.
I’m disappointed. I thought you would want to be…
…made in to sausages. :eek:
Only if the butcher promises to use my real intestines for the casing. No synthetics, animals, or strangers. The finest spices shall be used. Then put “Foodie For Ever: Cradle to the Plate!” on the packaging.
If there’s anything they want to harvest when I die, fine. I’ll have to do a document to that effect, as I don’t drive. But mainly just burn me up and let the ashes go into the wind.
I’m sure I’m just lacking the information needed to make this make sense, but as it is, it doesn’t. What does driving have to do with organ donation?
I’d like either a massive heart attack or a death violent enough to be instantaneous, but still leaving most of my organs intact. Then I want my body to go to the Anatomical Gift Society. When they’re done with it, I get the free cremation and then I want to be buried in the yard with a tree planted on top of my ashes.
Taxidermied in a sufficiently menacing pose and displayed in my parents’ home, preferably next to a high-quality shotgun.
I want to be brought back.
YOU GUYS HEAR ME??? BRING ME BACK!
Can you tell that I don’t want to go?
Many people make their wishes known by a note on their driver’s license saying “organ donor” right under the picture. You can get this note put on your state ID, though, if you have one (that’s what I did). It’s probably a good idea to have another document, however, since sometimes the doctors won’t abide by the license/ID alone.
Me: organ donation, donation to science, followed by burial without a box (which is probably not legal) or cremation and scattering wherever anyone who cares wants to do it. No funeral, they make me uncomfortable and even though I won’t be there, I don’t want to put anyone else through it. I should probably get this all set up now just in case; I’ve told people what I want to happen but who knows, they might all die before I do.
Ah. Must be a US thing.
Organ donor.
I’d like for the rest to be buried at sea (I’d rather be eaten by fish than worms), but not sure if that’s legal.
Sanfermines song, translation on the fly:
Pity, oh, pity the drunkards in the cementery,
for they cannot drink no more.
When I die, I’ve already made my will,
that I shall be buried in a winery,
under a wine barrel,
with a grain of grape
held below my tongue.
/end song