What do you wish people complimented and paid attention to, about you?

Of the aspects or topics related to you*:

What do you like for others to pay attention to? What do you wish they paid more attention to?

What do you like others to compliment you about? What do you wish people complimented you about more?

  • I mean this to be very broadly construed. Basically, anything even remotely related to you that someone may ask or talk about, at whatever level of intimacy or non-intimacy.


Of late I’m getting told I’m smart a lot…I don’t appreciate that really…but there are other things that I would appreciate that are related. “Insightful” for instance. Smart is a cop out, but there are versions of smart that aren’t.

I like being told I’m well read or well traveled. Something that says “I’ve listened to your conversation and I’ve noticed this about you.”

This morning my daughter said “you always wear such pretty clothes.” And I’ve gotten comments about my clothes at work. I put a lot of thought into my wardrobe, it is nice when someone complements my selection. Personally, I’m a big fan of the “cute shoes” in the elevator comment. I seem to delight strangers by telling them when their shoes are cute. Very often I simultaneously think “but I could never walk in them” but that doesn’t mean they aren’t adorable. Women wearing cute shoes put thought into their shoes. Similarly, “nice haircut” or “great color” - although some of the above only sounds right coming from another woman (or a gay man). If a straight guy noticed my foil, I think I’d keel over.

I like it when I’m out walking my dog and someone tells me he is handsome, or well behaved. Well behaved (and he is only a marginally well behaved dog) reflects well on me. Handsome just because he’s my dog…and its less personal and less cheesy than “your eyes sparkle.”

I love being complemented on my kids, of course, what parent doesn’t. Or how awesome my husband is.

The nicest compliment I ever received was from a woman who’d known me ten years and I considered a good friend…“for the longest time I thought you were a bitch, and I’ve come to realize you are actually a very kind and thoughtful person.”

Nothing on all of the above. I’m weird like that.

I’m contributing petty physical things because I ought to be going to bed and writing a post about other attributes would take too long:

I wish people noticed my hands. I like my hands, and I think they’re very graceful-looking. Boyfriend calls them “baby hands,” but that’s not what I mean. And not really a compliment.

I like it when people tell me I have nice collarbones. Because they ARE fucking awesome, thank you very much.

It’s an interesting question, and interesting to think about the answer. I find myself moving into “things I WISH were good enough to get compliments about” and also into “things I WISH other people valued as much as I do”, and finally into “things out of magazines that I wish were real life”.

Housekeeping is my thing. I want to have beautiful gardens, I want to serve people wonderful food, I want to offer guests a comfortable bed. Back before I was run ragged by a toddler, I enjoyed primping the guest room and cooking nice meals for my husband. I still enjoy doing laundry, especially the folding and putting away, and doing the shopping. I like to take care of people. I like to maintain order. I like to cultivate beauty.

Having said all of that, a lot of it is a pipe dream. I am bad at keeping up with cleaning the house and too lazy to keep it very neat or tend the gardens as well as I should. Cooking meals is something I do as an afterthought these days–“oh, it’s dinner time? Boy, do we have anything thawed?”

I used to be known for my dinner parties, for being a good cook and offering people lots of good food, drink, and company. I’ll get back to that point some day. I enjoyed being complimented for it.

Sometimes, when folks see some of my artwork for the first time (especially the miniature masks), they say things like “Oh, you’re so talented!”

I wish they’d compliment me on patience/hard work, rather than talent. Everyone’s got some talent in something. Not everyone’s got the patience to spend 14 hours on a 3-inch piece of polymer clay.

if I promise not to compliment it, can I ask what foil is here?

For me: one of the things I’m proudest of is when I manage to overcome a prejudice, or listen to an opposing view without knee-jerk reacting to it. I know it’s pretty much invisible, but I do kind of wish people could notice and compliment it.

Method of hair color.