Generally I hear it in old movies. I think I’ve heard more contemporary use of the phrase but those instances seem to be meant specifically to evoke earlier times. It’s always in response to being introduced to someone, or a greeting to someone upon first being introduced.
It usually seems to be used in such a way that the person using the phrase seems to be asserting dominance by making the other person question their own social standing, a social power play of sorts. As best I can tell from context, it seems to mean:
[ol]
[li]No doubt you are charmed to meet ME. Aren’t you lucky to experience such a privilege.[/li]OR …
[li]We’re only just now being introduced, but I will graciously give you the benefit of the doubt that I will come to feel charmed by your aquaintance. I’m generous that way.[/li][/ol]
Now, that’s what it seems to mean superficially. The subtext, as I mentioned, seems to be more about establishing dominance.
So, is one of my interpretations correct? Or does it mean something else altogether?
I tend to lean toward definition #2 because …definition #1 is really too straightforwardly obnoxious, isn’t it? I mean, if you’re trying to hide a social slight within feigned pleasantries then definition #1 isn’t particularly well done camouflage. You might as well just turn away from the person without extending your hand or saying anything if you want to be that rude.
So, yes, I lean toward definition #2 because at least it allows for being delivered ironically, allowing plausible deniability in the event of being called out for rudeness. But, still, a lot of times it really sounds like definition #1.
Further confusing matters: sometimes (rarely, but sometimes) it sounds like it’s meant to be perfectly sociable and friendly with no caddiness or social one-upmanship whatsoever.
And so, I wonder if perhaps neither of my interpretations are correct.
I also wonder what it was supposed to mean. But as a data point, your #1 was never even close to entering my mind. Your #2 does make more sense than the best I could come up with, which was that the speaker has been immediately charmed, but needed to reflect a bit to be sure of this, which seems both superficial and passive aggressive at the same time, which I agree is not in keeping with its being seemingly completely socially acceptable.
“Charmed,” I think, is just a variation of the typical pleasant thing you say when introduced to someone. It’s similar to saying “Pleased to meet you.” It’s not indicative that you’re “graciously giving anyone the benefit of the doubt,” it’s just what you say. After all, how do I know that I’m pleased to meet you? You might turn out to be an asshole. But I say that I’m “pleased” anyway, because that’s what you say when you’re meeting someone. “Charmed” is a rather–well, charming–variation of that.
The “I’m sure” part is a little more mysterious, but I’ve noticed that some people seem to use that phrase as a generic way to add emphasis. Ever hear someone say “I’m sure I don’t know?” That’s stronger than just saying “I don’t know.” I think that “Charmed, I’m sure” functions in the same way, making the sentence stronger than if you just said “Charmed.”
Can it be used derisively or condescendingly? Of course, but I don’t think that’s inherent to the phrase. Almost any greeting can, if delivered in the right tone.
Benny Hill did an old routine where a celebrity, after being introduced on a talk show, responds, “It is an honor and a privilege”. The host responds, “Well, it is an honor and a privilege for me.” To which the celebrity responds, “That is what I meant.”
With the right delivery of “Charmed, I’m sure”, you can get pretty much the same implication.
Sheer speculation, but I’m thinking that “Charmed” is essentially a direct translation from the classy French “enchante”. But the single syllable “Charmed” might sound excessively dismissive, so some extra meta-syntactic syllables got added just to fill in the spaces.
Obviously with the correct tone of voice, the phrase can be made to be dismissive or condescending, but that’s a function of the tone of voice, not of the phrase. See also the “Good morning” exchange in The Hobbit. The straight meaning, though, is positive.
It’s a social token that isn’t to be taken literally. It’s now outmoded but in its time was probably quite common in more formal settings. It means exactly the same as “how do you do” or the contemporary “nice to meet you.” (Not #1 in the OP.)
As has been said, any phrase, including this one, can be used with a tone of snark. Old movies probably used it often in a sarcastic sense to comedically show that the character was sarcastic and possibly also to lampoon more formal strata of society.
It’s like when someone says, “How are you?” and you say “Fine”. It’s a ritual. They don’t really want to hear about your carbuncle.
I only remember it from White Christmas. The actress, character, setting and her voice made me think they were making fun of her. Like she was a dumb blond who didn’t know the right social protocols.
IOW, “I’m charmed. At least I think that’s what I’m supposed to say here. This fancy living is all so unfamiliar and exciting to me!”
The part of the introduction ritual I’ve never understood is the use of the word “this”. E.g.
Me: “Sam, this is Jane.”
Sam" “Nice to meet you Jane.”
Me: “And Jane, this is Sam.”
Jane: “It’s likewise a pleasure Sam.”
When else would we ever use a pronoun like “this” to refer to a person, and one standing right there to boot! It’d be like referring to someone as “it” rather than “he” or “she”.
e.g. “This is a table; that is a lamp; she over there with the martini is Jane Jones, the famous football player.” Try putting “this” or “that” in the third clause and it’s a real off-putting / disrespectful / distancing way to refer to Jane.
Why wouldn’t one use “this” to refer to a person? There’s no other pronoun that serves the same function, like there is with “he” or “she” in place of “it”. “This is a table” is shorthand for “this object is a table”, and “this is Jane” is shorthand for “this person is Jane”.
I’m pretty sure the phrase is British. It was in use by 1825, when British culture was moving toward excessively phrased civility, especially by the new middle class.
In American culture that cuts two ways. American manners were heavily influenced by British custom, and the 19th century was also a time here when the middle class started to grow and to imitate the manners of the upper crust.
So you had people who truly were trying to be polite and proper as they understood it. That meant, as it always does, that people who wanted to mock them would use the same words and gestures mockingly. Oliver Hardy is an example. His character wants to be thought of as genteel but he is rising above his proper place, as seen by society then.
If you use it seriously, “Charmed, I’m sure,” is exactly equal to “Pleased to meet you.” Neither of the OP’s interpretations are correct.
If it’s not being used seriously, then it can have multiple shades of meaning, just like any other piece of sarcasm. Figuring out exactly how it was meant in movies that are near a century old can be tough because almost none of that time’s nuances of class still exist.