Why, nothing. Putting stuff in your pockets makes your pants look all lumpy and ruins your pleasing silhouette.
Front left pocket: Cell phone, note pad.
Front right pocket: Wallet, car keys.
Thank you, for telling me I have one of them. 
Left pants pocket:
Scientific calculator
packet of Post-it notes
occasionally (though not at the moment) checkbook and/or receipts I need to keep
Right pants pocket:
Handkerchief
Keys
Swiss army knife (blade, nail file, scissors, saw, can opener, bottle opener, straight screwdriver, Phillips screwdriver, auger, keychain)
Rear pants pocket:
Wallet (cash, assorted cards, buy-ten-get-one-free restaurant cards, change, Band-aids, individually wrapped moist towelette)
Left belt:
Generic (non-Leatherman) multitool (pliers, wire cutter, short blade, long blade, assorted wrench sockets, two straight screwdrivers, bottle opener, can opener, fish scaler, heavy file, rule)
Right belt:
Cell phone (camera and all the other standard things on a low-end flip-phone)
Shirt pocket:
Regular pen
13-function utility pen (ink cartridge, short razor blades, long razor blades, small saw, small file, pick, nail remover, jeweler’s straight screwdriver, jeweler’s Phillips screwdriver, tweezers, fork, ear pick)
(currently) glasses (I don’t wear them at the computer
Wrist:
Cheap digital watch
And yes, I have used almost all of those things (except the ear pick-- I’m afraid to ask what it’s supposed to do, and the fish scaler, since I haven’t been fishing for decades). I’m considering adding a lighter, too.
Wow! Just seconds before seeing this thread I was contemplating a similar nosey-parker thread (such as “what were you thinking before you saw this thread”)
Anyway.
At the moment, nothing.
But most of the time I’ll have my set of keys in the left pocket and my phone in my right.
Sometimes the left will also contain money. (Never in the right, unless paper money… Coins will scratch phone)
And when I’m on the toilet my left contains my watch. For some reason I take my watch off when I go poopies or wee-wees.
In my coat left inside pocket is usually where I keep paper stuff (boat tickets, printed emails etc…) credit card, papermoney, a hundredweight of shrapnel (slang for coins)
The outside bottom right is for the mp3 player and headphones… a feeble attempt to balance out the left-right weight distribution.
For the same reason the outer right bottom pocket nearly always contains nothing.
Somewhere, a pickpocket is frantically scrabbling notes…
Right side, wallet; left side, keys and cellphone. That’s about it–sometimes bills and scraps of paper go into the left pocket, but not often.
okay, I’ll bite - what’s the diff between the two Leathermen, and what kind of tournament needs different Leathermen?
Wait a second. I thought that was the entire point of the thread!
Are you saying I’ve had these spiders in my pockets all day for nothing?!
Dude. We’re fucking pocket twins. Well, My LR pocket has a hankerchief, but it’s close enough.
Wow, I sure am different.
Occasionally I’ll carry a pack of memory cards in my left shirt pocket.
My cards, phone, cash etc. go in a book cover that I always have.
I don’t carry keys because I don’t lock anything. The policy for my company’s trucks is to leave the keys in the ignition with the windows down. I don’t want my windows busted by someone looking for a camera.
I’ve lived here for 17 years and I’ve never owned keys to my house.
Decoy wallet indeed.
Most of my clothes don’t have pockets, but the shorts I’m wearing right now do. I’ve got my cell in my front left pocket and my lighter and a buck and change in my front right.
The contents of my purse tend to vary, but I’ve always got my datebook, wallet, mp3 player and checkbook in there.
Robin
Left front pocket: car keys
Right front pocket: cell phone, memory stick
Right rear pocket: wallet
Left front pants pocket: Flash Drive, iPod (sometimes), pens (if no shirt pocket).
Right front pants pocket: Keys (including a knife and flashlight), comb, change.
Left rear pants pocket: wallet
Right rear pants pocket: nothing
Shirt pocket (if I have one): pens
Belt: Palm Treo, pedometer.
Normally before noon there is one 450mg Lithium tablet. Hopefully by noon my pockets are empty, but sometimes I forget to take it until 4 or 5.
Ah! That wouldn’t work for me - I’d spend the money in my decoy wallet on toys and then I’d have to reload it, then I’d find something else to blow it on. I guess I’ll just avoid being mugged, less complicated that way.
I don’t have any pockets at the moment. I had to throw my car keys in the diaper bag today.
At work:
front right: keys, pocket knife
rear right: wallet
rear left: hankie
front left: empty unless I happen to have loose change for some reason
belt, above front right: cell phone
shirt: mechanical pencil, work ID badge, and a small notepad in a leather case I call my “shirt wallet”
Not at work:
all same except I don’t usually carry my pocket knife, my phone is more likely to be in my front left pocket, and there’s nothing in the shirt pocket
Left front - keys
right front - cell phone, coins, one Aleve capsule in its foil pouch, box cutter, slip of note paper.
Right rear - wallet
left rear - pay stub in envelope.
Joe
My wife complains that a LOT of womens’ pants don’t have pockets. Do you find this to be true, and do you wear mens’ pants to compensate?
Joe
Are you serious? I’m no gun guy, but it seems dangerous to carry a gun in your back pocket. I may be wrong, of course…
Joe