what does your computer say to you?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I’d like to know what sounds you dopers have for “events” on your computers.

Due to the plethora of events, I’ll limit this to the following, and include mine:

1 - default sound - “d’oh!” good 'ole Homer J

2 - Exclamation - “warning! warning” robot from Lost in Space

3 - Question - “try again, dumbass!” Mr. Garrison from South Park

4 - Start Up - " It’s alive…" Gene Wilder from Young Frankenstein

5 - Shut Down - some little quote by Peter Lorre about a trapdoor

6 - New Mail - “Houston, we have a problem” Apollo 13 (the REAL one)

How 'bout y’all?

2

That nifty.

How do you set that kind of thing up?

3

Well, in my Jurassic NT 4, go to Start / Settings / Control Panel, then dbl click on the Sounds Icon. You can change the sounds from there…but

  • you need to GET the sounds first, and put them into the windows/media file (I think)
4

Mine says “Prepare to experience seething uncontrollable rage!” and then drops a blue screen of death.

5

Actually, I hate for my computer to make any noise at all (unless I’m playing a game or watching TV on it) so I de-listed all the sounds it makes, except for the Question noise.

I used to put all sorts of sounds on it, Eric Cartman and Dexter sounds were my favorite. Then it just lost its novelty.

My email program makes a cool matrixy sound that I found a long time ago, but it only checks mail when I want it to. Otherwise I’d get sick of that sound too.

6

Well, my Linux box runs the fortune program whenever I run a new bash prompt, so it’s liable to say damn near anything to me.

And once I installed the `off’ fortunes, its repertoire became much more amusing. :wink:

7

Start Up – SKREEEEEONNNKKKK!!! (i.e., Godzilla roaring)

Shut Down – “This is it, George. Steve Martin, signing off from Tokyo, Japan” (words spoken by Raymond Burr’s character just before Godzilla trashes the building he is staying in).

:wink:

Barry

8

Start-up - still deciding.

Error - “Whatevah! I do what I want!” Cartman

Empty Recycled Bin - “DELETED!” Strong Bad

New Email - “Ohhhh…Electronic MAIL!” Strong Bad

Shut-down - “It’s about time! Why don’t you go outside or something?..nerd!” Strong Bad
I like Strong Bad.

9

Call me boring, but I just like to use simple beeps, bells or some other short sounds that indicate what is happening. I’ve tried setting my computer to play movie/TV quotes and the like, but they tend to get old and tiresome rather quickly.

10

I’m with dwc1970. All putting quotes on my computer does is make me soon want to never hear that quote again.

11

Critical Stop - “That sort of thing’s not my bag, baby” Austin Powers

Exclamation - “Ha ha” - Nelson Munz

Exit Windows - “All done. If you survive, please come again” - Apu

Program Error - “D’oh” - if you have to ask, you shouldn’t be here

Start Windows - “Chicken pot, chicken pot, chicken pot pie” -Donny from Just Shoot Me (I know, it doesn’t really fit. I just think it’s funny)
I used to have a lot of others, but like dwc1970 and Giraffe said, they got tiresome. These sounds are rare enough that they don’t seem to annoy me.

12

I’m with Ego; I don’t want my computer to speak unless it’s spoken to, and when I want its opinion, I’ll beat it out of it (there were alot of "it"s in that sentence). Anyhoo, I like my computer to be quiet so I can hear what’s playing on my Itunes.

13

I only have 3 customized sounds:

Exclamation: “D’oh!”

Startup: “This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message. I’ll get back to you.” (tone)

Shutdown: “Goodnight, Mr. Walters!” “Uunnnnnhhhh.”

Those last two I downloaded from www.tvland.com

14

Start-up: “Good morning, Dr. Chandra, this is HAL. I am ready for my first lesson.” HAL9000 from 2010

Shut-down: “Thank you for coming; I’ll see you in hell! (gunshot)” Apu from one Simpsons where there was a crime spree

Everything else got annoying. Luckily I couldn’t find a sound that said, “Ow! Not so hard!” for the exclamation event.

15

Instant Message: “Hello, Children”, Chef from South Park

Exclamation/Crash: “You unbelievable bastard.”, Val Kilmer from Real Genius
(used to be “D’oheth” from the Simpsons, which I quite liked)

New Mail: “You’ve got Mail” from AOL, but I don’t have AOL, so it’s postmodern irony or something.

16

I perfer dings, clicking, beeping sounds. Admittedly, I about a dozen different dings, clicks and beeps, but it’s mostly done to reassure me that the computer is responding to commands.

Running SimCity 4: “Argghhh! Help! Sod this, I’m outta here!”
[Little gerbil exits treadmill in computer and heads stage left]

17

Mail: http://www.slonet.org/~rloomis/mail7.wav

18

I rotate mine amongst sound clips from Warcraft (I, II, and III) and Starcraft/Broodwars.

At the moment, the ‘exclamation’ sound is of the Peasent from Warcraft: “Now whut?”

For awhile, my start up sound was:
(Han Solo): “Jedi Knight? I’m out of it for a little while and everyone gets delusions of grandeur!”

<< COFFEE.EXE not found. Insert cup, and hit any key to contiune. >>

19

Start-up Steve Martin singing “I’m picking out a thermos for you”
Program error Arnold Swatzewhatever saying “What the f*ck did I do wrong!” from Total Recall
Shutdown “'scuze me while I whip this out” from Balzing Saddles

20

Start up:“Hello,computer”
(Scotty-Star Trek:The Voyage Home)

Shut Down:“Warning,primary power will go offline in 10 seconds.”
(Enterprise computer)

All other events are silent,I hate vocal 'puters.