I know what you are feeling. Here is my story.
I was reared in a Fundamentalist Baptist household. I attended Fundamentalist Baptist schools throughout my youth. My parent’s church proudly identified itself as Separatist. I attended a supposedly “Non-denominational Christian College” which, of course, turned out to be Fundamentalist. (Pensacola Christian College, in case you want a name.)
One problem. I have never understood why I should be:
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Ashamed of my “sin.”
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Willing to accept Christ as my “personal saviour.”
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Willing to accept the teachings of anyone who would say “follow me, as I follow Christ.”
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Do those things that a Fundamentalist Baptist minister says are right, and not those things that are deemed improper.
What it comes down to is, why ought I not use reason, instead of blind faith in an interpretation of an unprovable book?
The kernel of my apostate thinking was the realization, based on my observation, that *all men are born selfish, not sinful.
Think about that, and what Jesus might have meant with “The Sermon on the Mount.”
I am still searching. I do not have the answers. I have a question, however, and it is this: “Is there any device, whereby we might be able to rise above ourselves?”
I look around and I see those that have a model of behaviour that they subscribe to, and as a result they are good and decent. I look around and I see those that follow the same model, but fail miserably. They do not see that they are failing, they believe themselves to be good and decent. They, unfortunately, are ass-holes aspiring to be an ass. Same beliefs, different results.
My brother-in-law is Mormon, my mother-in-law is Charismatic Pentacostal, as is my other brother-in-law. My family is entirely Fundamentalist Baptist. I feel as though myself and my lovely wife are out on the “sceptical limb”, with no pat answers to respond to the questions of “what does it mean to be under the direction of a higher authority?” and “where are you going when you die?”.
[hijack] Hey, JenkinsFan, why are you still here? I would have thought that the Straight Dope regulars would have driven you out by now! It is great that you have a high tolerance for those who think differently from you. Straight Dope Message Board needs you. I, for one cannot believe that you have not retreated to the LDMB! [/highjack]