You’re entirely missing the point and looking for insults where there are none.
I’m telling him maybe wear a costume that fits, just as I would hope someone would do for me if I decided to wear my child’s PJs out in public.
The whole thing was 1 not brought up by me 2 used to point out to Trafalgar who brought it up that Geordi could quite possibly plan his costume and make it all the way to the con without anyone telling him, which you agreed to.
I don’t think anyone took your statements as judgy.
Also I’m sorry to hear you say your super ugly, and i doubt it, even in all my superficiality i can say probably less than 1 percent of people would qualify there. So in all likelihood you’re perfectly fine.
I hope your attitude towards your image changes.
Fact: Feel better, look better.
Good attitude might not actually physically Cha a persons look but it will in fact change how others percieve how you look and how attractive you are irrespective of looks.
I’m not getting back into it but I always correct and clarify when I’m factually in error.
You are right, they weren’t your hypotheticals they were typolnk’s. You quoted my response to them and then your response read as if you were speaking as them and my response followed from that. Not a deliberate tactic or incompetence, just a minor lack of clarity in a thread with multiple lines of questioning and posters.
I don’t think I am missing the point, and I am seeing that this person will be insulted if you follow through on your proposed course of action.
If you want to provide as a gift, a better fitting costume, then he may appreciate it.
If you just want to tell him that he looks silly because of what he has chosen to wear, you are not doing it for him, you are doing it for you.
I didn’t agree, I think I actually pointed that out before Trafalgar’s excellent post that some of the people that you will find at cons like that will be socially inept and awkward. It is possible that he didn’t have any friends to run his costume by that would have told him that the skin color change was not necessarily a great idea.
And, that’s the thing. If you make a mistake, apologize, and move on. It was on the Daily Show a while back, and I’m having trouble finding the clip, but that’s exactly the point that Roy Wood Jr. made in one of his pieces. I think it went something like, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know”, and the reply, “Apology accepted, and now you do.”
If you have apologized for the actions that you have made out of ignorance, and have taken the new knowledge to heart, then only an asshole would continue to hold it against you. You don’t need to cater to assholes.
So you don’t agree he could have made it to the con without anyone bringing it up, but you agree he could have made it to the con without anyone telling him…? Ok
I do agree, apologize and move on, doesn’t have to be a news story.
The gift thing, this may be a male/female communication difference.
If I tell my buddy, dude you stink. He’ll laugh and say yeah I need a shower.
If I buy him deodorant that’s an insult. Guys i know tend to take words very easily and actions …not so much.
Same with the costume, if I bought him a fitting costume he’s just gonna be slightly offended and ask what’s wrong with his old one. If I tell him it looks silly he’s probably gonna go get one himself, or just say he doesn’t care and move on.
Conversely , I can buy a new shirt for my wife or female friend and they’ll just smile and say thanks. If i tell them one of their shirts makes them look fat well …that’s another story.
Been there, as we were going out i told a friend “Michelle, you normally look really good, and I’ve never seen you look fat , but that shirt is getting there”
She actually appreciated it after getting some confirmation from the girls phrased something more like " oh you never look fat but some of your shirts are better" which she decided meant I was right still, it was a story that was retold for years as " He thinks I look fat"
I also jokingly picked in my older brother for a pink polo he wore to Easter once, he made a point of wearing the most ridiculously pink outfits he could find to Easter for at least ten years thereafter.
The overweight Spider-man is really not doing anything comparable to the Geordi costume (similarly, the Data costume is just not a very impressive Data, it’s not offensive on any level.)
So I’d say commenting on a Spider-man is a little mean-spirited, but I’m rather sorry if nobody at all ever spoke up to “Geordi” to tell him that really, the visor and the uniform make it super obvious you’re Geordi, please do not do the face paint. That’s not because it looks bad as a costume, but because it looks bad as… well, a human.
Good point.
Also these two make a great example on so many levels. Data is flat out whiteface and totally exaggerated, even compared to data’s actual whiteness ( I’m aware he’s an Android and not human, just represents a human and arguably is considered human at some point)
Data’s not offensive because there’s no history. could have been a black guy in whiteface and noone would care. Had Data been an overly dark black Android rather than an overly light white Android then dressing as him with makeup would still be offensive.
Geordi ,even though his color is less exaggerated and the guy is probably a fan of Geordi , not making fun of him, Is offensive, for no other reason than the history.
Well, and face makeup is part of the Data costume, even on the show. The character wears makeup for a sci-fi twist; it’s meant to emphasize that he isn’t human.
Geordi’s skin tone isn’t part of a costume.
That is not in any way, shape, or form, even close to what I said.
Please stop putting words into my mouth, and then complaining that they don’t make sense to you.
At the very least, actually quote the words of mine that you question.
And that is when it becomes a news story, when the blackface wearer doubles down on his “Well, why is it offensive” thing.
As a fellow member of the male species here, I don’t think that it is male/female miscommunication thing. If I tell my buddy that he stinks, he’ll say “yeah, I know!”, and then usually try to become more stinky.
Yeah, deodorant would be rude, but I didn’t say deodorant, you did.
I did once buy deodorant for a fellow co-worker who “didn’t have time” to put it on in the morning. It was meant to be insulting and degrading, but I was tired of working next to his stench.
Costumes are not deodorant. Now, if you just go out and buy some spiderman costume, then he may not appreciate that. But, if you say, “Hey, that ones a bit old and ratty, lets get you a new one” , and have some give and take about what it is that he is looking for, then you may very well come to something that both of you like.
Or, he may like the one that he has. That’s fine too.
Yeah, I avoid buying clothes for women.
That’s a terrible way to say that. Just say that that shirt is unflattering on you. Why do you have to bring up anything about weight. Your criticism is about the shirt, not their body.
Well, that’s because you said that she looked fat.
The whole thing was 1 not brought up by me 2 used to point out to Trafalgar who brought it up that Geordi could quite possibly plan his costume and make it all the way to the con without anyone telling him, which you agreed to.
I didn’t agree, I think I actually pointed that out before Trafalgar’s excellent post that some of the people that you will find at cons like that will be socially inept and awkward. It is possible that he didn’t have any friends to run his costume by that would have told him that the skin color change was not necessarily a great idea.
So if data was a blackened black guy playing an Android it wouldnt be offensive to use his makeup?
Or your just saying that he wears makeup in the first place at least adds to the unoffensiveness.
Wharf is a real confusing example. Not human, brown makeup is part of his costume. Yet it still seems way too close to me.
I’m not sure I agree with that. Northam’s “situation” was news before he responded to it, and continued to be news while he denied it. Maybe you meant among the general public, but I am not sure I’ve seen any random Joe become news because of blackface.
Was watching Abbott and Costello Go to Mars on *Svengoolie *Saturday and noticeda brief blackhead scene.
Thank you for continuing to enable a white supremacist system .
Well, they got Sarah Silverman.
Sarah Silverman “got” herself.
While she is clearly bummed out about losing an opportunity, it seems that she totally gets why it happened and she’s not acting too butthurt about it. Good for her.
For those who don’t want to click, Silverman went full-on blackface. Not brownface, but actual blackface.
Jesus Tap dancing Christ. I was just at my bar watching a movie and my buddy said “who’s that actor?” and I said “Who, the black guy?” No one, including the black people in earshot, took offence. “Black guy” is not a racial slur. The reason white people are afraid to use it as an identifier I’d because of their own insecurity, not because of anything real.
“I didn’t fight it.”
“It’s so disheartening.”
To me it is clear that she is bummed out about being held to the same standards that others are being held to dispite the fact that see views herself as a liberal “creative artist” who should be above criticism.
Her attitude is about the same as when she defended her friend Louis C.K.'s masturbating in front of female comics. “What, can’t you take a joke? He’s one of us!”