About fifteen years ago, I sat down and tried to figure out what do do with my life (I’m still working on it), and one of the possible careers I came up with was mortician. Since I was kinda-sorta near Chicago at the time, I had these guys send me some info–their brochures suggested a reasonably priced degree in a year or two, with financial aid available, and excellent job prospects. I do know that morticians sometimes make a hell of a lot of money. Also, a mortician I briefly worked with in the Guard mentioned that here in Arkansas where I now live) you can become a mortician through some kind of apprenticeship program–I have no idea how that might work.
Also, it doesn’t take very long to become a paramedic, although from talking to people I gather that hours, pay, difficulty, and job satisfaction found by ambulance jockeys varies to an incredible degree from place to place. The life of a Miami paramedic isn’t the same as that of a rural North Dakota paramedic. Anyway, for what it’s worth, I became an EMT-A and thought it was pretty easy, though stopping at this point won’t make you much money where I live. Instead of going on to become a full-fledged paramedic, I let one of those military salesmen talk me into becoming a medic, and then I went on to other things.
Most of the courses I’ve seen in catalogs for vocational schools can get you a certificate of one sort or another that will help you get a job making more than ten bucks an hour, often in less than a year. Think you might want to be a HVAC tech? Welder? Appliance repairperson? Truck driver?
Good luck with your search! If you stumble upon any really good ideas, let us know. I’m still shopping around for my future, too.