What happened to the Peanuts gang?

With Charles M. Schulz gone and his wonderful Peanuts strip now rerunning into perpetuity, we’ll never see how the characters would have grown.
(Not that Schulz ever aged the characters himself, but he did add new things and characters from time to time).

So let’s hear from you: Did Charlie Brown grow up and marry Lucy? Or Peppermint Patty? Or Marcie?

Let’s see who’s got the most creative idea for what happened to the Peanuts gang!

Note: Please try to make your answers as reasonable and as realistic as possible, given what we know of the characters already. I mean “Sally becomes a sado-masochistic lesbian and does the Talk-Show circuit” may sound outrageous, but it doesn’t really jibe with what we know of the character as written so far.

Chris W

Many years ago, Mad Magazine did a feature speculating on what would happen if the Peanuts characters were allowed to age. From what I remember, Charlie Brown became a pathetic Willie Loman-type married to a bitchy alcoholic Lucy who was still trying to start an affair with Schroeder who, of course, was a famous pianist and composer.

Charlie ends up with the Little Red Headed Girl. Schultz was very clear about that situation (Charlie always trying to get the attention of the LRHG) being based on his and his wife’s courtship.

Snoopy wound up being President of the United States, with Woodstock as his VP.

Okay, I’ll bite. Here’s my version:

After flunking out of multiple schools, Patty ran away from home and lived briefly on the streets before being taken in by a homeless shelter. Her physical skills aided her as a pickpocket and shoplifter until a brush with juvie set her straight, and at 30 she graduated from a community college with a degree in physical education. She became a high school track coach and until her retirement never said a word about her sexual orientation, despite discreet questions from both students and administration.

Once Linus hit puberty, he and Sally had a brief and disastrous relationship in high school. Linus went on to have several short relationships with various women during college, then realized that he had replaced his security blanket with casual sex and the feeling of being loved, however briefly. Resisting his physical nature, he put aside all his bodily urges and emerged an asexual philosopher, writing several pieces about the nature of the soul and displacement of need. His work was never distributed widely, though he had several devoted adherants.

Sally’s heart was crushed after her breakup with Linus. Realizing that the attainment of her childhood goal left her with nothing to strive for, and she quickly sank into depression, flunking out of school. Schroeder, taking pity on her, took her under his wing and tought her to play the piano. After a brief stint as a vocalist to Schroeder’s music, she went on her own and found solace playing jazz bars and folk music clubs. She married a barista named Tom and had two children.

Schroeder was a nautral talented pianist, but never acheved true greatness. His parents tried to enroll him in several gifted musical classes, but his arrogance led to a hatred of criticism, and he resisted every attempt at furthering his musical education. Living in a one-room flat, his frustration with his own work kept him from recording his work. His original compositions were either highly derivative of Beethoven or all sounded the same. During the short cooperative time with Sally (in which he tried to have a physical relationship with Sally - his first with any woman, in fact - but was quickly shot down), they released a single CD: “S&S; Tunes to Sigh By.” Sally’s departure left him feeling hollow, and he discovered that his pain gave him an artistic strength he never had before. Publishing several angry piano concertos, he became widely accepted into alternative classical media, and became moderately wealthy. He continued to have several short and painful breakups, which he claimed were all with an ulterior motive of “keeping the creative juices flowing.”

Lucy remained loud and boisterous, but passed through public school without incident, though she did lead the mock trial team to victory her junior year. She discovered a talent and a passion for verbally bullying others with logic, and after a short period on an AM radio station as a political talk show host, she gathered a small cult following and set up a website devoted to her work. As well as providing free internet radio shows, she wrote several columns in papers throughout the country and made a modest living offering advice and wisdom with the occasional insult.

After Marcie graduated from college with a degree in history, she returned to her hometown to discover that Charlie Brown remained in the same house he had lived in since childhood, taking the deeds when his parents died and working with his hands as a car mechanic. Summoning her courage, Marcie finally asked Charlie out, and hey had a long relationship before getting married and moving into Charlie Brown’s home. Charlie could never put it into words, but he always felt that he was settling for something that never came along instead of pursuing his own goals. Occasionally, during his bolder moments, he would ask Marcie to wear a red wig during sex.

Snoopy lived quite a while for a dog, but like any creature, he eventually fell to the frailties of the flesh. He descended into constant delusions involving the Red Baron, Carl Marden, and the Foreign Legion, and Charlie Brown had to have him put to sleep in the backyard. Exploring the surprisingly large area in and under Snoopy’s doghouse, Charlie and his son Roland found three bird’s nests, fifty stocking caps and scarfs, various pieces of sports equipment, eight dinner dishes, an old typewriter, and one hundred and seventy-eight unfinished manuscripts, some of astonishingly high quality. Marcie collected these works and sent them to a publisher under the working title It Was a Bright and Clear Day. IWABACD won several awards for short stories and prose, and Charlie Brown hung the awards above the fireplace and passed them down to his own son.

Disclaimer: I didn’t make this stuff up, I vaguely remember reading it on the web somewhere around the time Schultz died, and am reproducing it here to the best of my memory:

Charlie Brown: Middle manager in some mid-sized insurance company.

Linus: Famous self help guru with a best-selling book.

Peppermint Patty and Marcy: Running a San Francisco bookstore called “Womyn’s Words” together, describe themselves as “good friends”.

Sally: Now going by her stage name, Pamela Anderson.

I forget the others.

Peanuts…a year later

Well let’s see what “The Far Side” has to say.

Charlie Brown some how found himself in the old west buried in an ant hill up to his neck. I wonder what he did and who he pissed off?

Lucy somehow gets ahold of a time machine and goes back in time 4.4 million years and eventually gets fossilized (in superb condition I might add) in either Kenya or Tanzania.

No word on the rest.

Brilliant, BraheSilve! Nothing I could add there, so now I have to fall to wondering what happened to other characters . . .

Brenda Starr finally realized her Mystery Man was gay, and, channeled her energy into taking the newspaper over from Mr. Liveright. She made Hank O’Hare the Gay issues columnist, and Pesky O’Hara eventually left to start a sex and violence tabloid, a la The Weekly World News.

Nancy and Sluggo’s marriage ended in a vortex of domestic abuse. Nancy refused to enter her aunt Fritzie Ritz’s “house,” and eventually moved in with Little Lulu, where the two founded a home for abused wives.

Ziggy died in his mid-40s of cholesterol-related heart trouble.

The Family Circus parents stayed married, of course, and lived long, annoying lives. Billy took over his father’s comic strip duties, but his drawings were so amateurish and his plots so unintelligible that he was fired and spiraled into a haze of drugs and alcohol. PJ, who had entered the priesthood, surprised everyone by taking over Billy’s duties. Dolly has married, at last count, four times, having at least two children by each husband. She works as the least popular teacher at a local elementary school. Jeffy has become a gay rights activist and lives in Boston with his longtime companion.

Good grief. The Little Red-Haired Girl is based on Donna Mae Johnson. She had two suitors, Al Wold and the guy she called Sparky. She married Al Wold.

She is the one who got away, the early love who is never forgotten.

There is a whole chapter on her in Rheta Grimsley Johnson’s Good Grief: The Story of Charles M. Schulz.

Pigpen – Child protective services finally raids the home of his alcoholic parents. Pigpen is put in foster care where he is given a new lease on life. A few years of therapy (& showering) is needed to help Pigpen (who now goes by Lenny) build his self-esteem and regain his sense of self worth. Lenny eventually graduates high school with honors and goes off to college to study agriculture. (Although now a well-groomed young man, he never lost his love for nature & the desire to get his hands dirty) He now runs a profitable ranch in West Texas with his wife, the little red haired lady, and four children.

Yes, but it was a very close election, with only one vote making the difference, a vote by a recent German immigrant…

The Great Pumpkin – Years of sagging below children’s radar in the realm of fantasy figures have driven The Great Pumpkin into depression. Each Halloween became more painful than the last. Every year he would appear in a pumpkin patch with a bag filled with toys and candy, only to find only one or two children waiting. The infringement suit brought on by Clause-Bunny Inc. only added to his woes. Apparently, the Christian-holiday gurus hold the sole rights to delivering gifts in specific fashions. In addition to the lawsuit, the company made several “visits” to GP’s home to encourage him to cease all activities. (Clause-Bunny is the same outfit rumored to be in connection to the disappearance of Harry, the Hanukkah Hound) Forced to stop visiting pumpkin patches altogether, GP decided the best way to clear his head was get out and travel. He decided to use his powers to visit every country & experience the world. (It was on the sunny beaches of Jamaica that he ran into a vacationing Tim Burton, who seemed very interested in GP & his plight)

He’s still abroad. It is said that if you go out on a clear night, when the full moon is its brightest, you too may be able to catch a glimpse of The Great Pumpkin. Just not near any pumpkin patches. He’s still really scared of the snipers.

Actually he did.

When the strip started, Charlie Brown was younger, Shermey, Violet, Patty (…not Peppermint Patty) were all much older, Lucy was much younger than Charlie Brown. Linus showed up soon after as a toddler. Schroder was also younger than Charlie Brown. There are early strips where Lucy is starting pre-school.

(Also, in the early strips, Charlie Brown wasn’t depressive)

Soon, everyone’s age more-or-less equalized. Patty, Violet and Shermey faded away, Linus, Lucy and Schroder aged to close to Charlie Brown’s age. (Key way to tell: If Lucy is being called a “fussbudget” she’s drawn and acts much younger than CB.)

When Sally Brown first showed up, she was an infant: couldn’t even talk. Took her a couple of years to become literate. Same with Rerun.

So there was some aging.

Dammit, someone needs to do a complete series of reprints of Peanuts cartoons!)


PigPen Also gets hold of a time machine and goes back to early 1960’s San Francisco, where he joins an up-and-coming band known as Mother McCree’s Uptown Jug Champions, who later changed to electric instruments and become the Grateful Dead. PigPen plays the organ, which he refuses to lend to Ray Manzarek of the Doors, when they are on the same bill.

I’m a huge Peanuts fan - some people have made some great suggestions but I only have a few. These are the ones I feel most strongly about.

Peppermint Patty: She becomes a high school physical education teacher. Realizes she likes women.

Linus: He becomes a philosphy and theology professor.

Schroeder: Plays piano for a city symphony


Peppermint Patty is elected President of the United States. She appoints Lucy as Secretary of Defense. Nuclear war with Canada follows.

Lucy: Killed in the Gulf War by her own troops. :slight_smile:

(Sorry, I just couldn’t resist…)

[slight hijack]

The rich history of the Peanuts strip fascinates me. I remember characters from the sixties and seventies that have long since faded away (it’s those retrospective volumes): 5, with his younger sisters 3 and 4, all named because their father felt that we were all becoming numbered instead of named and wanted a jump on the trend; Patty of the naturally-curley hair, with her boneless cat Farina (you always saw Farina draped over her arm like cloth); Snoopy’s persona of Joe Cool (when I saw a shirt with Snoopy’s brother Spike on it, I thought it was Joe Cool).

Boy, I’m getting old.

Was that the same feature where Charlie Brown retires and proudly shows Lucy his last paycheck and the engraved watch given to him in honor of his service?

The one where Lucy looks at the check and says, “They deducted the cost of the watch!”?

Schroeder, of course, became one of the world’s greatest pianists. He never composed a single original piece of music, but stayed content with performing other’s pieces. He eventually went insane after attempting to play the first movement of Rachmanninoff’s Second Piano Concerto in C Minor.

Snoopy’s brother Spike pretty much stayed the same until the last few years of his life. He was able to move out of the California desert by making a large amount of money after selling the shoes Mickey Mouse gave him on eBay.

No one’s exactly sure what happened to Linus. Lucy kicked him out of the house around the age of 20. He was never heard from again, until somebody found him near death on a sidewalk, clutching a bottle of malt liquor he called his “security blanket.” It seems that he became a unfortunately bad alcoholic after losing his real blanket.