What I learned in college
With proper attention to happy hour schedules, it is possible to get by quite nicely on one meal (paid for) a day.
Disclaimer: This may no longer be true - I went to school when the drinking age was 18.
Less than that, if you have access to amphetamines.
Was the program GIS?
More like GIS For Dummies, or something similar. It was a sort of pared-down version of the real thing.
Not that it was any easier to use. It was basically GIS with about four-fifths of the capabilities removed, leaving a great many folders and clickables that didn’t do much of anything, but were still floating around to confuse you when you tried to make the program do something…
Please. Like those who couldn’t make it in Arts and Crafts could even begin to compete in Engineering.
[/self-righteous engineering student] 
I learned how to construct a bong out of any three household items, that with proper scheduling you can use the same research to write papers for three different classes, and that scholars (the kind who learn a new language so they can read in the original a novel they want to teach, even though it’s outside their field) will sometimes move heaven and earth to help you out if you are genuinely interested in the subject matter.
I also learned that while department heads come and go, secretaries are forever and should be treated nicely. The bosses don’t sign anything that doesn’t show up on their desks, and very often they will sign anything that does if it’s in the right pile.
When I got to law school I learned other things. Horrible, terrible things that would… nah, I can’t describe it, go read some Lovecraft.
The most important thing I learned in college was how to put up with the minimum of bullshit while extracting the maximum of what you want.
It’s a pretty good thing to know.
Well, yeah, but of the three majors I have pursued over the course of the years, education seemed to be the one most determined to turn bullshit into a religion.
Then again, biology doesn’t have much room for bullshit, if you’ll pardon the pun.
In many ways, I can’t help but wonder if the last year in particular wasn’t really meant to TEACH me anything, but to simply apply pressure in a sort of primitive torture test, you know? “If someone can put up with the crap we’ll be dealing out, we can say with some assurance that ten years from now, he won’t snap and bring a Heckler & Koch submachine gun to class to wipe that shitty grin off the snot-nosed punks in the back row, once and for all…”
It doesn’t matter if you’re twice the age of most students, and it doesn’t matter if you’re well respected in your field and that yes, you DO know that that is the career path you will continue to pursue, that you’re not a fresh out of HS freshman who may change his/her major 15 times over the course of the next 4 years.
Useless “General Education” requirements must be met anyway, otherwise, how are you to become a “well-rounded” student? (never mind the fact that you’ve raised children, traveled, served in the military and have a permanent place on the Honor Roll at the School of Hard Knocks).
That “Art Appreciation” class is a requirement for your degree and it has NOTHING (oh nooooooo) to do with the greedy scam that is the University system trying to suck you dry of every dollar you have before you finally get a degree, noooo, it’s because the University in their vast wisdom wants to ensure that you, the student, their responsibility, has a “well rounded” education.
(I know I used “well rounded” a few times, but when asked why someone with a lot of life, work and project management experience needs the “useless” classes such as art appreciation and so on, that’s the answer they give).
Bah!!! Secondary education is a fascist plot to separate us from our money!! I say bring back apprentice programs, OJT and the like!!
Let’s overthrow the academic world
AMEN!! AMEN!!! I’ve seen WAY too many of this kind of professor. It’s enough to make a person go bonkers with an uzi in the middle of Mickey D’s or something.
I’ve seen it so much throughout the times I’ve taken classes (I work a LOT, so my degree is slow in coming) that just that phrase “comfort zone” drives me nearly to murder.
Yes, yes, we KNOW you want us to “think”. But a reasonable guideline as to what YOU, the instructor want would be nice.
I learned my Social Security number.
[sub]As stated in Reality Bites.[/sub]
I learned…
That I can consume large amounts of alcohol and I get REALLY friendly and loud.
That the right answer isn’t what’s important, it’s what the professor wants you to put that matters.
That White Males did nothing that would be of any interest between 1620-present. (Yay for History class!)
That it’s possible to get an A on a paper when you don’t even own the book.
That your powers of Bullshitting matter far, far more than anything else.
That the book and the lectures may have nothing to do with the tests, which come from the planet Zoob.
Dear Master Wang-Ka,
First, I agree with you about education classes. I taught for over 15 years, most at the university level, and took two education classes. Both were a total waste of my time.
College is about learning to learn, to concentrate, to solve problems. Whatever they may be. Some of that course work may seem irrelevant. But, it has a purpose. . .
I’ve spent the remaining 20 years of my working life helping people find jobs, and get the training necessary to get the job they want. Most fail because they cannot independently solve problems. They don’t know when to call in sick and when to come in sick. They don’t know how to concentrate.
I’m also quite convinced that man successful men and women suffer from adult attention deficit disorder. That’s how they got successful.
College is a wonderful place. Usually there is someone there who is interested in whatever you’ve become interested in. You are free to experiment. It is not a factory. It doesn’t produce “trained workers”. If you think teachers can be trained, you will never teach. Teachers learn to teach every day. And they shouldn’t answer questions. They should ask questions.
You do not know something unless you’ve discovered it yourself. Someone can tell you for a decade. Your parents probably did. That’s why so many fathers become genius when their sons turn 25. Because their sons have finally learned for themselves what their fathers have been saying for twenty-five years.
If you get one student per class who can really learn, be glad. Have a party. Learn that student’s name. Pray that student comes back. Because if that student doesn’t come back, it probably means you were a lousy teacher.
I agree with you, for the most part, hroeder.
…but if they can’t train me to do something, then… what the hell am I paying for?
Well, I’m paying for knowledge, basic information, and so on. I am paying for someone with some credibility to certify, in writing, that I know all this stuff.
Of course, now that Texas has instituted state testing of all teachers to make SURE we know all that stuff, a degree is kind of redundant, now, isn’t it? If I can pass the TeXes exam, I’ve already PROVEN I know the material, no?
Which may be why they’re trying to ram a bill through, last I heard, that would eliminate the need for any kind of education degree before you can teach. All you’d need is ANY kind of bachelor’s degree or better… and a passing grade on the TeXes exam.
Universities throughout the state, as well as the teachers’ organizations, are fighting it tooth and nail. You’d think the university would be trying to upgrade its content, yes?
I am a graduate student in a program structured for part-time students. Two of my classes this semester had a final project for a major portion of the grade consist of making a webpage.
Information provided by Professor A “If you look on the internet, you will see good webpages and bad webpages. Make your site look like a good one”. He showed us how to use Notepad to type html tags and spent almost as much time explaining how to use the setweb command as how to actually use html.
Professor B said “Bring in a Word document that looks like (this)” and spent three hours teaching us how to convert our word document into html (with the help of HTML-Kit). He also provided a link to a number of pathfinders just like the ones we were creating.
Is it any wonder that everyone loves Professor B, even though he tried to kill us with large quantities of homework? But he gave me an A so it is O.K.
Professor A also had 70% of the work for the course due on Dec. 3 with almost no opportunity for feedback. I’ll be lucky if I get a B in his course.
I learned my SS#. . .
Shit, jackelope beat me to it. Didn’t realize that it was a line in Reality Bites though. . .
Oh, I forgot to mention. Professor A did postpone the due date for 45 % of the course work until tonight at midnight. What kind of weird professor wants 20 page papers handed in electronically?
One who doesn’t wanna pack the damn things out to the parking lot and to home?
One I had, though our papers ranged from 6-10 and I was glad for it, since Paper Turn In Day was All The Students Who Never Show Up Bitching About Papers Day, so I skipped class.
Yea, I had that “group” BS shoved down my throat also.
In my previous job I had a boss who uttered this crap all the time:
“Teamwork.”
“We all must work in teams.”
“Cooperation.”
“The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.”
“All of us are smarter than one of us.”
“Are you a team player?”
:mad: :mad: :mad:
He got laid off. I think he’s working at Denny’s now. 