What I Learned In College

[Master_Wang-Ka]

…the education department, to be precise.

The real world is a horrible place. Teachers are incredible, saintly beings who do their jobs despite the fact that they have, like, five or six bosses who issue contradictory instructions and never pay them or anything.

In the real world, bosses not only pay you, but have a vested interest in your health and state of mind, if only to maximize the amount of work you can do. In college, YOU pay THEM, and they don’t give a shit about you.

In the real world, the boss is always right, whether you like it or not. In college, not only is the professor always right, but you are expected to BELIEVE it. In fact, you can get in trouble for NOT believing it.

In the real world, nothing is ever done by anyone working alone. All tasks are accomplished by people working in small groups. Furthermore, these groups must be randomly reassembled periodically for no apparent reason.

Your “comfort zone” is an evil, vile place. Nothing of any importance can ever be accomplished by anyone who is comfortable, under any circumstances.

At any point at which a given professor sees something that he/she thinks is “neato,” that item or process may be incorporated into the curriculum being taught, regardless of whether or not it’s appropriate, usable, makes sense, or whether or not the professor knows how to use it. This is especially amusing when it involves software of some sort.

In real life, when you throw a bunch of people together unexpectedly, there is a period of confusion and role distribution before they can get much of anything accomplished. In college, this simply does not exist; professors will randomly throw groups of people together and expect them to pull brilliance out of their ears in a matter of minutes.

Anything I’m missing, here?

[World_Eater]

How much do you owe?

[Lord_Ashtar]

You forgot to say “fuck”.

[gluteus_maximus]

… and “aardvarking cocksucks”…

[dalovindj]

What this thread needs is some more smart asses . . .

[kasuo]

• Once a professor has tenure, they are virtually untouchable; contrast that with in the real world, where if you mess up big time or piss off enough people, you won’t last.

• Faculty and administrators are not subject to quality work so long as they appear to be doing something, even if it is grossly behind schedule.

[RickJay]

I learned how to make a lot of different mixed drinks. I remember some of my economics stuff too, and some psychology, and I learned a lot about women.

[dalovindj]

I learned how to make a lot of different mixed drinks. I remember some of my economics stuff too, and some psychology, and I learned a lot about women.

This all makes sense since it typically takes cash, drinks, and/or mind games to get women into bed. (I’ve heard that respect and being polite work as well, but that seems to be a myth. So skips those ethics classes . . .)

[Master_Wang-Ka]

Well, me too.

But not only did I enjoy learning all that, it actually corresponds with stuff in the real world, and consequently, I didn’t feel like it really belonged in the Pit…

…and I don’t actually owe a whole lot. I paid as I went. See my livid rants in the thread about “buybacks” for more details…

[hroeder]

Back in the day, ages and ages ago, when I was still in school:

If you dropped out of Arts and Sciences
You could always enroll in Engineering
If you dropped out of Engineering
You could always enroll in Business
Only when you failed at Business
were you expected to enroll in Education.

[Phlosphr]

The real world is a horrible place. Teachers are incredible, saintly beings who do their jobs despite the fact that they have, like, five or six bosses who issue contradictory instructions and never pay them or anything.

What teachers are you refering to?

In the real world, bosses not only pay you, but have a vested interest in your health and state of mind, if only to maximize the amount of work you can do. In college, YOU pay THEM, and they don’t give a shit about you.

Oh Boy are you in for a fun surprise! And I care about most if not all of my students.

In the real world, the boss is always right, whether you like it or not. In college, not only is the professor always right, but you are expected to BELIEVE it. In fact, you can get in trouble for NOT believing it.

At my school I expect my students to ask well thought out, deliberate questions. I do not lie in my lectures, so why would you not believe it? A student would not get in trouble for not believing what I say…they may infact be commended on asking questions to find out more info on given topic.

At any point at which a given professor sees something that he/she thinks is “neato,” that item or process may be incorporated into the curriculum being taught, regardless of whether or not it’s appropriate, usable, makes sense, or whether or not the professor knows how to use it.

It’s always appropriate and ever changing. Sorry, but you are not paying 34k a year for some dolt with a pice of chalk talking like roger rabbit in any of my classes. TYVM

In college, this simply does not exist; professors will randomly throw groups of people together and expect them to pull brilliance out of their ears in a matter of minutes.

Ahhhh…youth. Your statement is prophetic

Once a professor has tenure, they are virtually untouchable; contrast that with in the real world, where if you mess up big time or piss off enough people, you won’t last.

Professors can mess up, we are not perfect…splendidly imperfect in my opinion. We are not talking divine providence here.

[Master_Wang-Ka]

hroeder, I was once a very successful salesman. I quit because I was sick of working my butt off doing something no one will give a shit about in five years. In short, the money wasn’t enough. Do not make cute little remarks to me about how education majors are them what can’t make it in business.

What teachers are you refering to?

The hypothetical ones that my education professors talked about. These particular teachers seem to occupy the same ecological niche as Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster.

Oh Boy are you in for a fun surprise! And I care about most if not all of my students.

As previously mentioned, I spent plenty of time in the real world before returning to the ivory tower… and on most jobs I held, if I was too sick to do the job competently, I was told to go the hell home. At the university, on the other hand, illness on the part of a student was not considered sufficient excuse for missing certain profs’ classes, or missing block or student teaching time unless one could produce doctors’ documentation of some kind.

It is true that I had several excellent professors who also happened to be human beings. But you remember the assholes.

At my school I expect my students to ask well thought out, deliberate questions. I do not lie in my lectures, so why would you not believe it? A student would not get in trouble for not believing what I say…they may infact be commended on asking questions to find out more info on given topic.

You sound like a fine teacher. Regrettably, there are not more like you.

It’s always appropriate and ever changing. Sorry, but you are not paying 34k a year for some dolt with a pice of chalk talking like roger rabbit in any of my classes. TYVM

…so I’m paying $34k a year for some dolt who wants me to learn to use a given computer program, but cannot be bothered to teach me how to use it? This happened three times over the last few years. I thought I was paying to be TAUGHT, not to be given responsibility for going out and finding someone ELSE to teach me because the professor don’t wanna. Particularly when it comes to idiotic software I’m never going to use again.

[Master_Wang-Ka]

Oh, yeah… and at age 38, I am older than some of my instructors.

[Phlosphr]

…so I’m paying $34k a year for some dolt who wants me to learn to use a given computer program, but cannot be bothered to teach me how to use it? This happened three times over the last few years. I thought I was paying to be TAUGHT, not to be given responsibility for going out and finding someone ELSE to teach me because the professor don’t wanna. Particularly when it comes to idiotic software I’m never going to use again.

I see your point. I will say a lot of what you are saying is site and student dependant. Whenever a returning-to-college student comes into my class I usually and very excited. As they are usually the most astute, non-derisive students I have. Some profs here do unfortunately rule their classrooms by tyranny. I do not. I want the students to want to come to my class. Granted an 8:30am class does get some exception…It’s not like I’m not privy to what some of my students are doing in their dorm rooms.

Oh and BTW, you are a little older than I

[jsleek]

RickJay: …and I learned a lot about women…

would you mind starting a thread on this?

[Master_Wang-Ka]

Site and student dependent: quite true.

I can only say “tyrant” about one professor in my entire scholastic history. He was a tyrant, and made no apologies about it.

…but I can say “clueless” or perhaps “insane” about a great many professors I had. These people had no real idea what the real world was like, outside their little field, and in particular I will remember forever a geography professor I had.

He was teaching an “intro to geo” class. An intro class, for freshmen and non-geo majors.

In addition to the regular textbook, he felt it was important for us to master mapmaking software and cartography in general, and made several of our grades dependent on a second textbook and associated software.

He did not, however, have time to teach us how to USE the friggin’ software, or how to sift through the layers of buttons, files, and so forth. He knew how to use it, and he felt that a quick two-minute demonstration in class should be enough for anyone to remember. He actually got bent out of shape with us when we asked him (after the third assignment) to go through it again… slowly… so we could write it down step by step and perhaps have some clue on how to use his friggin’ toy.

“Have the people in the computer lab show you how,” he growled. He had much more important things to teach than his mapmaking program. Unfortunately, the mean old university wouldn’t let him tack a lab on, so we just had to figure it all out and do it outside of class…

Unfortunately, the people in the computer lab were as clueless as we were. The only people who really knew how to use the damn program were Geography majors, and they don’t keep office hours. Professors do, but he was the only one using this program, and he couldn’t be bothered.

I spent an entire damn semester wrestling with that incredibly un-user-friendly %$#@ mapmaking program… a program I will never need to use again, since I am not a geo major, and don’t intend to teach geo.

But it was his jolly toy, and by ghod, it was simply not possible to learn geography on HIS planet without diddling with that damn thing…

…and as I think I may have mentioned already, this isn’t the only time this happened to me. When a tenured professor finds something he wants to go “oh, wow,” over, you may well find yourself having to learn about it, or how to use it, or simply DEAL with it, whether you will ever need it or not.

It could be as weird and grade-murdering as the geo professor and his software from hell… or it could be as mild as the science prof who began every class by yammering about how all house cats should be exterminated or kept indoors, because they preyed on wild birds.

We could count on one of these lectures a week, minimum. They never made it onto the test, but I sat down and figured it out once, and this person wasted some five hours of my life yammering at me about the goddamn cats and birdies… and if the waste of my time wasn’t enough, the expense might be. In my estimation, that five hours cost me about $110, not including commuting costs…

[Alma]

*Originally posted by Master Wang-Ka *
**Nothing of any importance can ever be accomplished by anyone who is comfortable, under any circumstances.
**

Could you explain what kinds of things you’re referring to here? Because while I may not make it so extreme, I really don’t disagree with this statement. Maybe if you shared what prompted it I’d understand. Thanks.

[Master_Wang-Ka]

Sorry.

That was kind of a pet peeve. Had two instructors who didn’t exactly wanna tell me what they wanted me to DO. Just wanted me to put together presentations and then shoot me down because it wasn’t quite what they wanted.

One of them was particularly fond of the phrase, “I think we need to get you out of your comfort zone.”

“Peachy. Where do you want me to go? What do you want me to do?”

“Well, I’m not going to tell you. I’m going to pontificate vaguely and not give you any real clue what I want except that that wasn’t it, and that you need to get out of your comfort zone.”

AAAAAARGH!!!

[Krisfer_the_Cat]

Sounds like you need a REAL hot bath, REAL cold beer and some serious vacation time.

And just think soon you will be teaching for real( not just as an aide) then the real stress can start!

[Master_Wang-Ka]

Yes.

But I will be getting paid for it.

Perhaps this makes me less than the paragon of humanity that my professors were shooting for, but y’know what?

After several years of this, I don’t GIVE a %$#@.