What if: Sleestaks had actually existed?

Would they have picked off early hominids and prevented humans from evolving? Or would these ancestors just spent their time in trees?

All depends on what “early hominids” we’re talking about.

It’s my understanding that while descended from intelligent beings, the Sleestak themselves have devolved to a quite primitive state. The are physically larger and stronger than humans, but so are a lot of other creatures that have not wiped out humanity.

This thread makes @sleestak sad.

Primitive, yes, but didn’t they use weapons? Seems like they used nets as well. Chaka and his ilk were certainly afraid of them.


Sleestak are intelligent but no longer have an advanced civilization. They were the ones who built the Pylons, after all.

In the show they had crossbows and nets.

I thought of this thread after seeing a GEICO ad. I think the critter we’re told is a gecko is actually a baby sleestak. He’ll lose his tail and ability to talk as he grows up.

Word. I don’t pretend to be an expert, just drawing on some 40-year-old memories. :wink:

Humans don’t have to evolve, they are simply replenished with modern humans via the plunging rapids.

Timely thread. I was just thinking a grown up version of LOTL would be awesome. Make it more about Sleestaks vs Humans.

And perhaps the Sleestaks could be smarter to make it more interesting.

You make that sound way too much fun.

I mean…

Although if by “grown up” you mean “dark and gritty”, then I guess that hasn’t been done. But I for one am thoroughly tired of “dark and gritty” reboots of cheesy properties.

Have a look at Harry Harrison’s trilogy West of Eden (1984), Winter in Eden (1986), and Return to Eden (1988), in which humans co-exist with dinosaurs, including intelligent ones who have themselves developed a non-industrial civilization that uses selective breeding and gene manipulation to create their effective tools.

They hate bright light, and have to hibernate - I don’t think they’d have remained a threat.

That is a vicious rumor begun by Allstate.

I think that they were the “humans” of whatever dimension they came from. Or had been before their decline.

My fanwank is that their world had a similar history as Earth, and they were the survivors of whatever wiped out their Age of Reptiles. Instead of becoming birds, they became hominid-like.

We are actually still working on the plot to take over the world,

It is taking longer than we thought.

How would Sleestaks have gotten along with Meeseeks?