What is a job you can show up drunk or high at and not get in trouble

As my friends dad used to say, “The day I can’t do my job drunk, is the day I turn in my badge and gun.”

There are musicians and then there are musicians. The ones I worked with in Hollywood tended to be studio cats, not stuckup royalty artists on the road. I never saw any of them drunk or high. I’m pretty sure if a violinist came to a recording session other than sober, his contractor – who is playing right beside him and couldn’t miss it – would never hire him again and next week, he’d be working at McDonalds.

Food service, roofing and landscaping, from people I know with quite a bit of experience in this area over the last decade.

Mostly high rather than drunk though. In my experience there’s no “alcoholic” level of stoner. Nowadays it seems drinking a lot will get you in trouble almost anywhere. But in a reversal from the 70s, you can be high almost anywhere now, but not drunk, where as back then you could be drunk almost anywhere, but not high. I think that is progress.

You forgot drywallers in that list.

Telemarketing.

Seriously. As long as you are a well behaved drunk or high person, you can dial away all day and get paid. Everyone knows who they are at work, and the supervisors look the other way.

I understand wine tasters are careful to spit samples out without swallowing.

Still that way, huh?

Yes, well as of about 15 years ago anyway, although I seriously doubt that anything has changed. I remember reading a few years ago about how a bunch of NYC brokers and traders were invited to a screening of The Wolf of Wall Street and, among other scenes, there were loud cheers during the scene towards the end where Leonardo DiCaprio’s character retrieve’s his secret stash of cocaine hidden in the couch cushion (I realize that many of my fellow dopers may have not seen the movie, but the only clip I could find on youtube is way too NSFW, and has too many potential triggers, for me to even consider posting it. Sorry).