Today’s classic column says:
I’ve lived all my life in “the South” (Arkansas, Oklahoma, East Texas), and I’ve never heard of a stream called a branch, as in “let’s go down to the branch and go swimming,” as opposed to a creek, stream, river, bayou, or “crick”.
I don’t remember what JR was drinking on Dallas. I do remember who shot JR, but not a lot more about the show.
In Alabama at least, a branch is like a stream, smaller than a creek in most cases, that comes from a spring or artesian well. Cool, clear water – at least near its start – but maybe getting muddy or tainted downstream.
Small bodies of running water have regional names (some of which are listed at CREEK Synonyms: 16 Synonyms & Antonyms for CREEK | Thesaurus.com ) and in other regions that same name may apply to a different sized body. Once you get to river sized streams the options tend to reduce in number.
I was also slightly surprised by the answer, since the term “fork” is more common around here than branch - assuming it means a branch of a river. The Trinity river which runs through the Dallas area has at least three or four forks - so I assumed “Southfork Ranch” was a reference to a waterway.
As a Texan, I can echo - we called them streams (generally things without names), creeks (things with names), and then rivers (stuff we dam to make lakes around here) with forks. The branch was a relational term - X was a branch of Y, but I am unaware of anything called “Something Branch”. Bayous, at least in Houston (the Texas “Bayou City”) have a completely different connotation, and I promise you wouldn’t want to drink that water.
All that said, what the writers intended is very likely a folksy and slightly unusual drink for the character. A fun little column written with some wit.
Well, there’s Long Branch, New Jersey (after which the saloon was named). Nothing particularly Southern about that, though.
In Idaho, “fork” and “branch” are commonly used.
In the Official Cookbook of the International Chili Society, there are recipes for cocktails like mint juleps. The book defines “branch water” as any nonchlorinated water, referring primarily (I’d assume) to spring water. This is what I would use to dilute bourbon. I imagine you’d also want to use it to make ice for cocktails as well.
“Soda water,” AFAIK, is carbonated spring water, as distinct from still branch water.
Oh, come on, it’s good! It’s like a protein shake with a full serving of veggies.
There’s also the problem of the multiple meanings of “branch.” A limb, a secondary office, a body of water, and so on.
All I know for sure is that a branch (water group) ran beside my grandfather’s house and a block away emptied into a creek. After a heavy rain it would be calf deep, but otherwise ankle deep. I would never want to drink from it!
Remember that Dallas was broadcast in the very primitive days of TV, back when producers were still trying to find the best profit. So, they made some terrible mistakes. Here’s a great example, they actually wasted money hiring someone called a “writer”. This person performed a act called “developing a character”. Turns out this is completely counter-productive, the audience would be thinking about what “branch water” is and NOT on how cool they’d like driving a BMW.
Fortunately this mistake has been corrected so that today’s viewing audience need not concern themselves with any “literary value” and stay focused on making their list of medications that they have to ask their doctor about.
If a “branch” is a clean, pure, uncontaminated spring fed stream, then in the Pacific Northwest, we call those “navigable waterways”.
In bar lingo, branch means plain water, preferably something better than tap water. The opposite is “soda,” fizzy water.
“Bourbon and branch” can mean either a substantially watered mix, or just the splash of pure water that lights up and mellows a good bourbon or whiskey.
Just in case the Wiki version may have been overlooked along the way:
Or perhaps with a splash of water in the classic Bourbon and branch water tradition?
Addition of plain water rather than soda water to a mixed drink (for example, “Bourbon and branch” refers to Bourbon whiskey with plain water)
Branch water is:
Water from a stream (a term primarily used in the southern United States)
Addition of plain water rather than soda water to a mixed drink (for example, “Bourbon and branch” refers to Bourbon whiskey with plain water)
When a whiskey is ‘cut’ (i.e. watered down) prior to bottling, the water that is used is very important to the final product. The preferred source of water is called ’branch water’. Branch water comes directly from the stream that the distillery is built on; some companies even bottle this water, so that bar customers can further dilute their bourbon with the original bourbon water. This branch water starts its life in the underground limestone shelf that exists under most of Kentucky and part of Tennessee. The limestone shelf acts as a natural filter for water that passes through it. Branch water is particular for its lack of character, with no traces of iron or other minerals that would be harmful to the whiskey making process.
Water that is steeped with a fresh young branch of a Douglas Fir tree, imparting upon it a distinct resinous flavor. Anecdotal evidence points to claims that water prepared in this way is cleansed of some impurities and odors and is also oxygenated. Natural stream water is, of course, steeped in a profusion of fallen brush and stream side plant material. Douglas Fir ranges in the Pacific NW and the Rockies.
Central Texan here. I can attest that local farmers and ranchers due indeed call small streams that feed into creeks “branches”. Pretty much what Zeldar said.
And “Branch” is also used in New Jersey in formal topography.
while it is true that in the south, many tributaries of creeks and brooks are called “branch” as a verbal shorthand for calling them by their true names.
But what is being referred to as “branch water” in relation to bartending mixology and in the show Dallas as JR’s favorite drink isn’t simply creek water. It is a very specific type of mineral water that is NOT taken from a spring. But is taken from a mineral rich creek or brook or stream that is just shy of being “sparkling”.
What it does is mellow the harsh bite of bourbons, whiskeys, and scotch that is less than 35 years old, so as to have less abrasive affect on the pallet and throat.
When “bourbon and branch” is done correctly (like JR does) there is NO ice cubes. It is considered to be bad form, and lack of taste, to put ice cubes in bourbon, whiskey and scotch since watering them down with normal type water ruins the distilled spirit. Only true branch water is the acceptable mixer for these distilled spirits. And then most true scotch drinkers will tell you that any kind of dilution is criminal, lol.
If you find that the taste of these distilled spirits is too harsh or bitter for your tastes, then “you’re getting what you paid for.” Meaning that the less years it has spent ageing, the more harsh it is. A truly smooth, silky mellow scotch is a minimum of 35 years old, same is true with whiskey. But bourbon you can find smooth and silky like pouring liquid gold down your throat usually takes about 20 - 25 years to get that quality with aging.
If you can’t afford the aged “good stuff”, then real branch water without ice cubes is a way to simulate an approximation of the older distilled spirits. There is much debate as to whom of the brands that offer the older aged varieties has the best. That is a matter of personal preference and taste so won’t start those arguments here. However I will say, that when you want the best and purest form of any distilled spirit, go to the country of it’s origin for the “real mc coys”.
I collect single malt scotch.
I have dozens of different malt scotch bottlings.
I don’t have a single one over 35 years old. I’ve tasted a fifty-year-old Scapa once, but I can assure you that if you set a standard of “older than 35 years” for scotch, you’ll be mighty thirsty and mighty poor. Scotch older than 35 years is both extremely rare and extremely expensive.
Virtually every single thing in this post is wrong.
There is some ambiguity and confusion over the term “sparkling”, and over terms like “soda water”, “seltzer”, “mineral water”, etc.
This Slate article defines the differences in terms. This Huffington Post article has similar material in a more awkward presentation format (a slide show).
Sparkling water is water that has bubbles in it from carbon dioxide, either naturally occurring or added artificially.
Seltzer water is water that has only carbon dioxide added (either naturally or artificially).
Mineral water is water from a mineral spring and can be flat or carbonated (i.e. “sparkling”). Mineral water has to have more than 250 ppm dissolved solids. Water with less than 250 ppm of dissolved minerals can be labeled as “spring water”.
Club soda is carbonated water that has sodium or potassium salts added to neutralize the acidity of the carbon dioxide.
Soda water is ambiguous and can apply to seltzer or club soda. There is a minor taste profile difference by the amount of additives to offset the acidity of the carbon dioxide.
Tonic water is carbononated water soft drink sweetened and flavored with trace amounts of quinine.
Neither of these articles defines “branch water”, which for the purposes of bartending appears to mean flat spring water, perhaps bottled from the same water source as the distillery. Does that mean there is branch water from Kentucky and branch water from Scotland and branch water from Ireland and branch water from other locations, and you have to get the right one that matches the beverage source? I’m buying a Jim Beam, it’s gotta be Jim Beam branch water, but I buy a Johnny Walker and it needs to be Johnny Walker? Or is branch water sufficient to mean any flat spring water with less than 250 ppm dissolved minerals? Or some lower value?
One question for ScarletteSpydur: why would you want to add mineral rich water to your whiskey, rather than low mineral water? Wouldn’t that change the delicate flavor profile?
Also, are any of these water styles chlorinated? I would think not to retain their original flavor profiles, but that’s just a guess.