If you had mated, surely your children would have been legendary warriors.
Great story!
The first time I met my best friend of 20+ years, he kicked me in the balls with a steel-toed boot.
Like, on purpose?
Well, no. We were in the parking lot after an Iron Maiden concert, playing hacky-sack while we waited for the line of cars leaving the lot to thin out a bit, and he hacked the wrong sack.
LOL. Sorry. He must be a hell of a guy for you to have overcome that first impression.
Laryngitis, causing loss of voice.
It was a regular event on 70’s sitcoms whenever a character had to deliver a sales presentation, sing in the school production, or speak at the Lodge AGM.
I don’t think I, or any of my friends or relatives have actually ‘lost their voice’ - a bit croaky maybe, but never to the ‘only talk in a whisper’ level.
I have had that happen to me on two different occasions. Once was just from illness, and the other was from attending a concert.
At least you didn’t have to sing the solo at that concert, especially if it’s the Christmas service. Poor Carol Brady! I hope there’s a Christmas miracle in the works.
My daughter is a third grade teacher, and she has lost here voice more then once.
I remember a weeks-long period years ago when I sounded like Froggy in The Little Rascals. I couldn’t talk to people without them trying to stifle their laughter.
There were also times in my childhood when I had sore throats so bad I couldn’t talk at all. Fortunately, they didn’t last long.
Re: downstairs ouchy-time. I was sledding as a young fellow, went flying off my sled and somehow landed flat on a slope with one bit of tree root poking out of the ground. Put me off sledding for awhile, but thankfully there was plenty of snow around to ease the pain.
I’ve never seen someone running down a school-type hallway manage to skid to a stop and then change direction. At least, not without falling or stumbling. People are not made to do a Tokyo Drift in their sneakers.
Small town business owners routinely murder dozens of people to protect their profits.
Maybe it would be cheaper to just pay people off who threaten to expose your shady dealings than bribing the entire local Sheriff’s department AND having a dozen hired killers on retainer.
Or to drive a monster truck over all the cars on the dealer’s lot. Though it was pretty fun to watch.
Looks like nobody’s mentioned the telephone that rings jarringly and inconveniently, usually cutting short a conversation and startling everyone involved, especially viewers. The Coen brothers have used this device very often, even in films set in more modern times. Rather than a mobile phone ringing in someone’s pocket, it’s a landline phone with a dial, and the ringing sounds like an old-fashioned alarm clock (e.g., No Country for Old Men, during the showdown between the characters portrayed by Javier Bardem and Woody Harrelson). Yeah, it’s happened to all or most of us, but not as often as it happens in movies. I think it’s hilarious when the Coens do it, because it’s like an inside joke or maybe a prank that they like to play on viewers, and I always forget it’s coming. But I might not find it as amusing in other films.
How about the sexual encounter that involves a guy getting handcuffed or otherwise restrained to a bed? Whether it’s played for laughs in a sitcom or a more serious encounter in a drama, it always results in a robbery, embarrassing revenge prank, or some ulterior motive other than good old fashioned kinky sex on the part of the person doing the restraining.
As opposed to real life, where inasmuch as it does happen, it likely leads to the expected result.
Several years ago (pre-Covid) there was some type of respiratory virus going around work. I totally lost my voice. With great effort I could whisper croak two or three words at a time before it went away completely. At the same time it happened to someone I worked closely with. My voice wasn’t coming back at all until I went to the doctor and got prescribed steroids. The guy I worked with tried the same and it didn’t work. They looked further and found he had throat cancer. It was caught early and he seems fine but his voice will be forever raspy.
I’m too lazy to reread an old thread. Has sleepwalking been mentioned? I never heard of anyone do it, or see it in years of hospital medicine, or complain about it after many tens of thousands of consultations.
I used to sleepwalk as a child, as did my younger brother. One night I caught him in the kitchen trying to rip the bulletin board off the wall. He was complaining that, “it won’t turn on! Why won’t it turn on?!” I got my mother and she redirected him to his bed. He would have been about 6 or 7 at the time, so around 1981-82.
When I was 13 or so, I was informed I had been sleepwalking. My mother said I came out of my bedroom in my underwear and said “Man, I have to get going!” A neighbor was visiting at the time, and she saw me too.
I might have been dreaming I was late for school or something, but I honestly don’t remember sleepwalking at all. So far as I know, it hasn’t happened since.