Yes. The monks in Tibet bought the biggest supercomputer available and programmed it to list out all the possible names for God. After some time, the stars started to wink out.
:eek:
Harold. I thought everyone knew that.
“Our Father, who art in heaven, Harold be Thy name…”
Which also is what the “H.” in “Jesus H. Christ” stands for. 
Re pronunciation of YHVH: we know how the first syllable is pronounced, because we do so frequently: “Hallelu-Yah” means, you guessed it, “Praise Yah.” But my OT prof in college told me that no comparable degree of certainty exists concerning the vowel sound of the second syllable. I don’t know this firsthand, obviously, but I have every reason to believe Dr. G. knew what he was talking about.
It doesn’t matter if someone knew The Name. Really, it doesn’t.
Jewish mysticism holds that names are profoundly connected with what they name; not only do Hebrew names have meanings, but it was once the tradition to induce traits in offspring by giving them appropriate names. Naming something is equivalent to asserting power over it (which is why Jewish fathers were the ones to name their children, and why some traditions hold that Adam’s function was to name all of Creation).
The Hebrew name translated as ‘Adam’ means ‘clay’, referring to his essential nature and origins. Without understanding the Judeo-Christian creation myths, however, merely knowing this fact is not helpful.
It wouldn’t matter if a person pronounced the Hebrew syllables that make up God’s Name. Without understanding the significance of the Name, it would have no power – and the significance could not be understood without comprehending the nature of God.
It’s an interesting debate, I’ve never used a name when I pray. I never really thought about it. I guess I’ve always assumed He got who I was talking to. I guess it’s a good thing there isn’t a mailer daemon for prayers. 
that there is really only one “correct” name for the Creator, or that she even cares?
…AND THAT’S ALL WHAT I YAM!
Nice discussion of YHWH and some fun riffs on Clarke and the divine nomenclature.
Starting with the Masoretic text, YHWH was written with the vowels for adonai, “Lord,” as a reminder to readers to say “Adonai” instead of the Divine Name, which was supposed to be pronounced only by the High Priest in the Holy of Holies on the Day of Atonement (presumably there was an exception to the rule to allow each High Priest to learn how the Name was pronounced from his predecessor). This is the reason for “LORD” in small caps in the King James and several other versions of the Bible – What’s being translated is “YHWH God Almighty said…”
What YHWH means, more or less, is an archaic third person verb with the approximate meaning “He causes to be.” When God told Moses His Name, what He said was “Ehyeh Asher Ehyeh” – “I cause to be what I cause to be.” The third person of the verb of which Ehyeh is the first person is YHWH.
I don’t know about thoughtpolice, but I’m in my second semester of Biblical Hebrew, so I have been reading the Bible in Hebrew quite a bit lately.
The Tetragrammaton ("[word] having four letters") does not look like two apostrophes (though the first letter, yod does look vaguely like a styalized apostrophe), nor could it conceivably be pronounced “yih-yuh”.
Nor is it clear how it was pronounced. Yahweh is the concensus among scholars, but it is not undisputed. (As the Rev. Will B. Dunn once said in Doug Marlette’s comic strip Kudzu, “You say it Yahweh, ah’ll say it mah way.”) Written Hebrew traditionally lacks vowels. Even today, Israli newspapers are generally “unpointed,” that is without the small vowel markings below (and sometimes above) the letters. Vowels were added to the Biblical text turing the Medieval period by a group of rabbis called the Masoretes. As Polycarp pointed out, the Masoretes used the vowels for Adonai (Lord) to remind the reader to say Adonai rather than pronounce God’s name. When German scholars read the text, they tried to pronounce the vowels (for Adonai) with the letters (JHWH) that were written and (using the trasliteration system in Germany at the time) produced Jehovah!
All that being said, it looks like thoughtpolice was trolling, as he already knew the answer.
Alan Smithee,
Yes, I put this in the wrong forum. I am new on this site.
Alan, you are right about “Jehovah” being totally wrong. I’ve studied this issue in depth - really, just out of my own interest - and the paleo-Hebrew that the Bible was written in is rather clear on God’s name (YHWH). I have a Jewish friend that I worked with for years that freely admits Yahweh is the correct name (he isn’t supposed to use it, but he did admit it to me).
Sorry I put this in the wrong spot. I meant no offense. I’ll learn more about this forum as I post, and I’ll get stuff in the right place. Sorry about the “trolling” (that’s a new term to me and a good one, too).
God’s name is Sh’neequa. She’s black.
It also lacks "w"s, so I doubt if the “scholarly” opinion is correct.
Zev Steinhardt
zev_steinhardt,
Of course, you are right about the vowels. Vowels are merely inserted to help us read the Bible. You are, however, wrong about the Ws. (Please consult someone that understands paleo-Hebrew like I have. You don’t have to be Jewish to understand paleo-Hebrew, and Jews do not have a patent on how God’s name is pronounced.)
So how does one say “YHWH”? Well, 95% of the Bible scholars - scholars in the Hebrew language - say it is pronounced “yah-weh.”
I realize it is Jewish custom not to use God’s name. Even though I respect Jewish custom concerning this, I don’t agree with it. There is NO prohibition in the Hebrew Bible about using God’s name.
His name is YHWH, and it is said “yah-weh.” As I posted before, even a Jew I was a partner with for many years admits this. (Most Jews sidetrack the question; he did not.)
I choose to give my praise to YHWH. If you want to use HaShem, that is fine with me, and I am sure God knows whom you are praising.
You know, I gotta learn how to spell.
Allah does indeed mean God. However it is a name, one of the 99 names of God in Islamic mysticism.
For the others, see here: http://99-names.com/99Names.shtml
My guess would be God’s real name takes forever to say…
**
OK, so what Hebrew letter produced a “w” sound?
**
You must have missed the Third Commandment.
**
That’s fine. Now please tell me which Hebrew letter produces the “w” sound.
…Hebrew
Zev Steinhardt
I thought God’s name was “dog” spelled backward.
Photopat, only if “dog” in Hebrew is HWHY!
Zev, the letter variously named “vau” or “waw” (between He and Zain) is sounded with a “V” or a “W” depending on your “accent” – it’s my understanding that it followed much the pattern of Roman “V” (W sound) becoming Italian “V” (V sound) as Hebrew was preserved through the Diaspora, in both Ashkenazic and Sephardic traditions, though you will know more about that than I.
Well, that clinches it. If I ever get another dog, I’ll name it “Hewey,” spelled HWHY.
And you could name its littermates DWY and LWY!
And then see if their barks will echo…
I’ve gotta tell you, Polycarp, I have never heard it pronounced with a “w” sound.
Zev Steinhardt