Well, that mushy feeling is part of what you’re describing. Sure, it’s brain chemicals in action, but so are the rest of our thoughts and feelings. (Without chemistry, we don’t think, we don’t feel, we don’t see, hear, smell, or taste, and we don’t move.) It’s just different aspects of the same thing, if you ask me. They’re talking about how love feels, you’re talking about what it does.
As for my definition of love, here’s a little someting I wrote on the subject for a mailing group I belong to.
Love isn’t a fancy card, chocolates, flowers, and jewelry for Valentine’s Day. Hell, love isn’t any of those things on any day. Love is the little stuff that happens every day. Love is scooping the dog poop in the yard, so you don’t have to do it. Love is scooping up that last bite of a dessert we’re sharing on my fork…and putting it in your mouth. Love is unstopping the kitchen sink, or plunging the toilet so you don’t have to deal with it. Love is taking out the garbage in the rain. Love is buying that cheese you really like when I’m grocery shopping. Love is washing the dishes, because you hate doing it even more than I do. Love is feeding, grooming, petting, and playing with your cats when you can’t, even though I don’t really like cats all that much.
Love isn’t perfect patience, peace, and harmony. Love doesn’t mean you never get angry, or frustrated, or just plain pissy. Even though you love someone with every fiber of your being, they’re still human and have PLENTY of faults, and those faults are bound to get on your nerves sometimes. As I told my mother once, just because you love somebody, that doesn’t mean you never get the urge to kill him with your bare hands. And just because someone loves you, that doesn’t mean he never gets the urge to kill you with his bare hands. After all, you’re still human and have PLENTY of faults, too. Love just means you fight those urges, and you try to refrain from saying or doing something that you can’t take back later.
Love isn’t never having to say you’re sorry. Love is having the courage to stand up and say, “I was a complete and utter asshole. Can you forgive me?” (And yes, we’re all complete and utter assholes sometimes. It’s part of being human. It doesn’t matter, really; what’s important is how you react to having been an asshole.) Love is ALWAYS saying you’re sorry when you’re wrong, even about the little stuff, and even when the other person is wrong too.
