What is that beeping?

Tie the can of WD-40 to a rock and throw it through his window/.

Good gad, man, buck up! Take a cat with you. They can see in the dark and deal with any birds, bats, or hiding murderers.

When my Welsh Terrierist, Maxwell Edison, was alive, he would go into frenzied barking, up and down the hall, when the smoke alarm chirped out its LoBatt warning. Without Max, I would have waited 'til morning, but I was teetering on a little stepladder, asleep, replacing the battery at 3:00 am.

I miss him.

The smoke detector at my old place had an extra special chip in it. I’m not a huge drinker, but the batteries always managed to die at 4 am, when I’d had ahem a few drinks. It’s a real joy to be drunk and sleepy, and trying to muster the motor skills to make the damn thing shut up! Luckily that place had really low ceilings, so at least I didn’t have to add teetering on a stepladder to the list.