What is the best way to live?

Great Debates
21

From what I understand, Zen (Northern) Buddhism has alot of baggage with it. It’s been twisted by occidental followers and may not represent the true spirit of the lifestyle. Perhaps you should look into Theravada (Southern) Buddhism, I understand that it more follows tradition and lacks the irrational emphasis on the real transmigration of personalities that colours Northern Buddhism.

As for me…I’m not into sacrifice. I like to indulge. I think that the whole of human behaviour falls into line with personal goals, and the means we take to achieve our goals. I think everyone acts in accordance with what they believe satisfies the most and/or highest priority goals. So human behaviour is dictated, the way we live is already set forth, it is but for us to accept it. My personal philosophy in life is “Look out for #1”. I recognize the benefits of friendships and relationships, the need to act benevolently towards certain individuals, but the cost to me must always be dwarfed by the potential rewards. Altruism is a red herring, it never really exists at all and is followed only by those whose primary goal is seeking recognition, power, and the assurance of their peer that they follow the moral path.

22

Learn as much as you can.

Be comfortable in your place as a member of the human race.

Be good to your family and friends.

Leave the world a better place for having had you in it.

Enjoy yourself.

23

"You are a fluke of the universe.

You have no right to be here.

And whether you can hear it or not,

The universe is laughing behind your back."

24

Yeah well I slept with the Universe’s sister, so he can laugh all he wants.

I would second the Vipasanna meditation that FabioClone mentioned. You can go to courses taught in the Goenka method(in the tradition of his teacher, Sayagyi U Ba Khin). Rather tough ten-day silent retreat. I went on the course last summer if you want to know anything a novice could answer. (the price is right - voluntary donation after the course – I never even heard a recommended amount.)

25

A lot of good viewpoints here.

David, God of Frogs - That actually makes a lot of sense to me. Did you just make that up yourself, or is there a source text you recommend I read?

RexDart - Your post prompted me to do some reading into the the fallacy of altruism. Interesting concepts that, quite frankly, I hadn’t even considered before. I’ve got to ask, though, how do others react to your philosophy? It seems that while most, if not all people, actually do live their lives “looking out for #1”, there is still a stigma attached to it. Our culture readily attaches words like “selfish” or “self-absorbed” to this kind of behavior. Are you ever the victim because of this philosphy, or do you keep quiet about it?

Well, no one has come out and said “I tried enlightenment and it turned out to be a big scam.” It seems like it would be worth the effort.

26

The best way to live for one individual may not be the best for another. My happiness has never been built around getting married, having kids, and both spouses working in a 9-5 world for somebody else in jobs that neither liked for a lifetime. Nosiirree, that’s too domesticated for my robust nature. Jobs and health insurance are also over-rated, IMO. I need more adventure in my life than that. I’ve had my share of factory jobs, but knew my stay wasn’t going to be there forever. I did need money to survive and so at the time it had to do. But looking forward to two weeks vacation out of the year, and certain holidays never appealed to me, I had to have more free time than that. My independence is important to me. I’ve never taken a handout from anyone, and I never will. If my health ever gets to the point it is no longer my friend, then it will be time for me to go.

I do not understand any of the philosophies that say one has to eliminate desires. Nor can I imagine wanting to eliminate sexual desire. It seems to me, that would actually cause depression instead of happiness, not just for you, but your wife or girl-friend as well. I also desire some material things. I see nothing wrong with desiring these things. Unless it is some very unhealthy desire, that may inflict harm on yourself or others, I think desire is good. It gives you something to shoot for.

Many philosophers and people throughout the ages have often used one word to describe the best way to live, and after reading through all of the posts, I don’t think I’ve seen a single poster mention it. I’m a firm believer in it myself. I’m sure all of you have heard it at one time or another in your lives, and have even suggested it to others as well. Now that you’ve thought about it, you probably know what it is. Besides that, I think several other things apply for my happiness. As I mentioned earlier, reasonably good health is important to me, as well as for loved ones, but that isn‘t something I have much control over. Managing my money well is also important. Not that I’ve made much, I haven’t, but by being careful with one’s money, it will enable you to acquire most of what you want in life monetarily, without having to work as hard getting it. One can live off of nearly nothing if they plan right. I like a simple life, although I have my own small business. It’s enabled me to accomplish my goal of having money coming in each month, without devoting hardly any hours to it. By having this free time, it enables me to get involved in doing many projects that I like to do. My next project will be building about a 50’ metal tower in the middle of some forested area. Sort of a tree-house on top, without the tree. Ever since I seen the bank-robber on TV who had his own three story tree house that was level with the tree tops, I’ve wanted to do something similar, but I will be making it to last by not putting it in a tree, and by making it out of four large metal poles for the base. After that, I will move on to other projects. My whole life is involved about doing the things I want to do, and having the time and money to do it. Not working for some job because you financially have to, or having somebody that is dependent upon you to do so. This doesn’t mean I will neglect my parents, or won’t provide and take care of them when their lives get to the point that they might need some help. Fortunately, my parents have provided for themselves financially too, and are just as independent as I. They need errands run from time to time, and occasional little favors, but none of that amounts to much, and I truly enjoy doing it for them. They are so grateful even for the smallest of things. I have others that I will also look out for as well.

That’s it in a nutshell. I think my desires are healthy for me. They are both a goal and a challenge. I seek out my desires for the ones that I think I can obtain. Once I obtain them, I move on to others. Life is to be enjoyed, and I’ve managed my life in a way to find the means and the time to experience as much of it as possible. I truly believe most can have both by making the right decisions along the way.

JZ

27

The difference is in the type of goals one perceives as in his self-interest. A person acting, as I believe we all do, in his own self-interest might behave quite differently than someone else doing the same thing. If a person enjoyed family and friends and being social, then his goals might be to maintain those relationships, and thus his actions would often appear to be just the opposite of “self-centered”. If however, someone’s goals were all centered around their career success they might withdraw socially and hone their own skills, and always network with others in a self-promoting way. Both people are acting in their own self-interest, but they have different goals so the substance of their actions differs. People would call the latter person “self-centered” but wouldn’t attach that label to the first person, even though both are acting purely in their own self-interest.

The cynical approach might turn some people off, but I think most people judge others by their actions and if they see friendly behaviour with purely friendly motivations, they won’t stop to think about the underlying generic motive of self-interest. Self-interest is about achieving our goals, it doesn’t set our goals for us.

28

Looking out for #1 is a great theory if you live by yourself and don’t interact with other people, but how do you reconcile it with living in a society where hundred of thousands (even millions) of people are interacting all the time? Do you really believe that everyone in a city of 10 million people are acting only in their best interests all the time, and still not managing to kill each other?

29

Somehow, I don’t think the secret to life is to live as a poor celebate hermit.

I also don’t believe that the secret to happiness is to engage in extreme behavior. That includes constant meditation, bunjie jumping, excessive sex, drugs and alchohol, compusive focus on career or exercise. In other words, allowing any one aspect of your life to completely dominate your entire life.

The secret to happiness is balance. You can look out for #1 but you also need to consider those around you otherwise you are pretty much going to be alone. It’s fine to be career oriented but you also need to do stuff outside of work. I know a lot of people who’s entire life revolved around their job. Once that job disappeared, many of them found themselves with pretty empty lives (as well as no stock options).