We have all delt with them through are lives especially in our adolesence. Why do they do it? Why do they feel they have to beat up or bully someone? Does it make them feel better about themselves? I would wager most bullies have low self esteem.
Another thing about bullies they always have to get other people to agree with their “bullying”([probably not a word) bahavior? Why? Can’t they stand on their own two feet without needing acceptance of others(usually people weak in their own right)?
Another thing weird about bullies is that once you stand up to them they usually respect ya?
Anyway I thought this might be an interesting thread to tell about a bully in your life and you dealt with it?
I wonder if Sodamninsane was a bully when he was a kid?
If you are or were a bully in some phase of your life, please explain why you were?
I have some pretty interesting stories but why don’t ya’ll go first.
All through the animal kingdom there are examples of the alphas (or the would-be alphas) separating the weak from the herd.
As one who suffered through my share of bullying in high school, it was my experience that standing up to a bully usually got you a bloody nose, a pair of broken glasses, and an appointment to get beat up again the next day.
And the nerd’s best friend, a witty, sarcastic rejoinder, seldom helped.
Calvin and Hobbs did a whole string of Calvin-vs.-the-bully strips, which were as close to documentary as anything I ever saw.
Matty told Hatty about a thing she saw
Had two big horns and a wooly jaw
Wooly bully, wooly bully
Wooly bully, wooly bully, wooly bully
Hatty told Matty, “Let’s don’t take no chance
Let’s not be L-seven, come and learn to dance”
Wooly bully, wooly bully
Wooly bully, wooly bully, wooly bully
Matty told Hatty, “That’s the thing to do
Get you someone really to pull the wool with you”
Wooly bully, wooly bully
Wooly bully, wooly bully, wooly bully
All through high school I had two main bullies, whose two favorite insults for me were “fat” and “fag.” In a strange but not unexpected event, one of the bullies got into an accident when he decided to see how fast his motorcycle could go down a street ending in a patch of gravel and a large picture window. Turns out it could go pretty fast but didn’t stop so well.
The other one’s conversations with me consisted of:
“David, are you a fag?”
“Uh, no.”
“Yeah you are!”
Somehow that was a satisfying debate for him.
Anyway, I eventually lost weight, went to college, and hey, who knew? - finally admitted to myself and the world around me that not only was I gay, but that wasn’t a bad thing to be. Eventually, I became the wildly - okay, mildly - successful happily “partnered” homosexual you see before you.
I never stood up to him at the time, but I saw him about two years ago and he looks about the same. I, however, could probably kick his ass now and wouldn’t be afraid to do so should the chance arise, so I there’s little chance of him bullying me any more. It’d be more like:
“David - are you fabulous?”
“Uh, yes.”
“No, you’re not!”
Which doesn’t carry quite the same punch.
In recent years, scientific studies have shown that the most homophobic people are actually the ones most likely to be sexually aroused by homosexual images, a fact which I found a bit gratifying when remembering good 'ole Mike the bully and his “faggot” comments.
Turns out he now works at a gas station in town, so I guess there is a bit of justice in the world.
One of my kids gets bullied pretty regularly. I get pretty tired of hearing “Boys will be boys.” Right now we are going to a series of classes aimed at making “bullied” kids feel better about themselves and to better prepare them to deal with it. The kids go in one room, and the p’s in another. It has been somewhat of a relief to find other parents are experiencing the same emotional reactions I was. And they sessions seem to be doing well for his self esteem.
One thing I’ve been working with him on is, I don’t think the bullies pick their victim at random. So maybe if he could keep a lower profile, they might pick on someone else. And the majrity of kids aren’t bullies, but they are just so glad someone other than themselves is being picked on, that they will go along with it.
In grade school, a group of us made fun of one guy, whose parents were Italian immigrants. He was overweight and wore glasses. We called him names and drew cartoons and stuff. Can’t honestly remember well enough to explain better than that. And I vaguely recall making jokes (not to their faces) about some of the special ed kids. Not my proudest memories.
**The other one’s conversations with me consisted of:
“David, are you a fag?”
“Uh, no.”
“Yeah you are!”
Somehow that was a satisfying debate for him.
Anyway, I eventually lost weight, went to college, and hey, who knew? - finally admitted to myself and the world around me that not only was I gay, but that wasn’t a bad thing to be."**
Hey DMcD, maybe the kid wasn’t exactly Abraham Lincoln in the debating department, but give the devil his due: he won that debate, didn’t he?
He was right, I’ll admit that, but I think his debating style needed a little work. Unless his father was a former president, I don’t think it would get him elected to office or anything…
Yes, I was picked on, too, and was an easy mark for it. Usually the only student in school with severe-to-profound hearing deafness, and after my family relocated from Florida when I was ten, I apparently had enough of a Southern accent for it to be commented on. Plus I started school a year early since I was ahead of my age group in reading and math, so I was always the smallest in the class.
Bullying is yet another bizarre form of social interaction I’ll never understand. The only profit is perhaps some cheap amusement and thin peer approval.
My being-a-bully-target days generally ended in eighth grade, when I smashed in the admittedly large nose of a tormentor that had been chucking pencils at me. To this day I’ve never seen someone bleed that copiously. I remember walking calmly through empty halls to the principal’s office with my hands covered in blood.
Ender’s approach was the right one - he just went a wee too far.
Ender Wiggin is the main character in the book “Ender’s Game” by Orson Scott Card.
The way Ender dealt with bullies- he realized that he couldn’t just stand up to a bully, or beat him once. He had to beat him SO BADLY that no-one would ever pick on him again, otherwise he could look forward to continual problems. He came to this conclusion not because he was a bad person, but because he was vulnerable, and a target. He had to make an example of the bully. Unfortunately, this resulted in several deaths.
Great series, you should pick 'em up.
Ender’s Game
Speaker for the Dead
Xenocide
Children of the Mind
Ender’s Shadow
Ender Wiggin is the main character in a science fiction book called Ender’s Game, written by Orson Scott Card. Ender is just a young’un in this book, and more than once he has to face up to a bully in a very physical encounter. The end results of these encounters were fatal for the bullies.
It’s a great read.
It isn’t about bullies, though. A bit more complex than that, and is definitely worth checking out.
I moved to another town when I was in the 6th grade. And I had to walk about 2 miles home. All the way home 5 or 6 guys beat the hell out of me. They would punch in the face, rack me, kick me the ribs when I was down. I would get up run for a little while until they would trip or tackle again and then all of the kicking, punching and so forth started over again. They literally almost beat me to death because they didn’t like that I was new or my laugh. Boy that seems like a good reason beat someone to death.
Anyway, I have no idea how I got home alive other just shear determination to live so I kept getting up and running as for as I could go. Needless to say I wanted to kill them not hurt them but kill them dead.
I got my 22 out and when outside to do just that. I don’t know what stopped but I didn’t do it. I just shot at a tree to scare them off my yard. Funny thing after I did that nobody picked on me anymore and 4 of those dudes actually became my friends. Do you think I scarred into liking me.
