[QUOTE=Excalibre]
It’s bad enough that folks like erie774 go around claiming they get tarred as a homophobe for not wanting to have sex with men (which, of course, I don’t believe for an instant. Obviously there’s a lot more to whatever went on there - if indeed it’s based on a true event at all.)
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/irrelevant aside - Is it necessarily as implausible as all that? Anecdotally, women have since time immemorial been accused of being lesbians if they turn down a guy’s advances…
[QUOTE=Johanna]
(re. effeminate)
I’m not sure what you understand by the term, to me it implies a value judgment “feminine when you’re not supposed to be, i.e. male” and therefore a putdown of gender nonconformists.
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It’s still definitely not equivalent to feminine, which was my point.
[QUOTE=Johanna]
I’m not sure what you understand by the term, to me it implies a value judgment “feminine when you’re not supposed to be, i.e. male” and therefore a putdown of gender nonconformists.
[/QUOTE]
I disagree. An effeminate person is not necessarily feminine and vice versa. The word “effeminate” denotes an affect, not an innate characteristic. I can make a case for this without even referencing the male gender. There are women like, say, Hillary Clinton who are feminine without being effeminate. By that same token, there are women (like, say, Pamela Anderson) who project an exaggerated female sexuality without necessarily being all that feminine.
I do think there are men who can be feminine without being effeminate. Transgendered, biological men would be an example, but even an ostensibly “straight” male like Ryan Seacrest can have feminine qualities without an effeminate affect.
I think the word “effeminate” denotes a conscious artifice, though I would agree that a lot of people would not recognize or be aware of the distinction when it comes to TG people.
[QUOTE=Excalibre]
<major snip> It’s bad enough that folks like erie774 go around claiming they get tarred as a homophobe for not wanting to have sex with men (which, of course, I don’t believe for an instant. Obviously there’s a lot more to whatever went on there - if indeed it’s based on a true event at all.)
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Had to cut out a huge chunk there of the quote to get to the part pertaining to me (I am the most important person around so it’s OK. ;))
The assertions came up as a result of a thread I started. Because I am turned off by the thought of kissing another man and admitted it some people were offended. Some people could accept that I was talking about a personal preference and responded accordingly. Others couldn’t accept it and attacked.
[QUOTE=erie774]
Had to cut out a huge chunk there of the quote to get to the part pertaining to me (I am the most important person around so it’s OK. ;))
The assertions came up as a result of a thread I started. Because I am turned off by the thought of kissing another man and admitted it some people were offended. Some people could accept that I was talking about a personal preference and responded accordingly. Others couldn’t accept it and attacked.
[/QUOTE]
I remember that thread. I thought people were a bit overboard but frankly you completely brought it on yourself when you compared kissing a man to eating dog shit.
At any rate, this is the sort of “backstory” that I was expecting; it makes the event a bit different than the way you framed it above. Very few people actually go around calling people homophobes for not wanting to have sex with folks of the same gender.
[QUOTE=Excalibre]
Bottom line, it comes across as patronizing to be told by straight “allies” that hey, you guys are just like us! We’re not necessarily just like you, and a lot of us aren’t trying to be just like you, and that’s okay. Our acceptance in society shouldn’t be contingent on being just like you. Calls to accept gay people because we’re just like everyone else except for one minor detail are harmful to gay acceptance.
c.
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There is a reason why “allies” do this- because if they do say “Gays are different” or talk about “gay culture”- they are immediately branded as homophobes. :rolleyes: It’s only OK if a gay person sez it. 
Sorry.
[QUOTE=DrDeth]
There is a reason why “allies” do this- because if they do say “Gays are different” or talk about “gay culture”- they are immediately branded as homophobes. :rolleyes: It’s only OK if a gay person sez it. Sorry.
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I don’t know what you’re talking about, since my complaint is that they’re doing the branding here.
[QUOTE=Excalibre]
I don’t know what you’re talking about, since my complaint is that they’re doing the branding here.
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It’s not you, it’s others.